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Dad Refuses To Spend Time With Daughter Whose Interests He Thinks Are ‘Unimaginably Boring’

Fernando Trabanco Fotografía/GettyImages

Being a parent requires a lot of sacrifice of time.

Your time is no longer yours until they’re at least 12.

It’s part of the bargain you make.

So what happens when a parent reneges on the deal?

Case in point...

Redditor MandemFandem2 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for not spending time with my daughter?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (36 M[ale]) have 3 children (12 M) (14 M) (16 F[emale]).”

“I spend most of my time with my boys fishing, going on trips with them and their friends.”

“Sometimes we even go camping.”

“A lot of times they even sit around me and my friends when we’re at the campfire.”

“We spend a lot of time together bonding as father and sons but my daughter does not.”

“I take my boys to clubs like coding, American football, and basketball.”

“I asked my daughter if she would like to go to any clubs but she declined and I said fine by me.”

“My daughter asks me to do things like practice make-up, fashion etc.”

“I have no interest, instead I like things like football, fishing, and building things.”

“I frequently visit Home Depot with my boys because we are always working on projects like how we are working on building a cabin.”

“My daughter comes around asking me to come shopping with her which I find unimaginably boring so I pass on the offer.”

“My boys hate going shopping with their mother and sister.”

“But love the things I do with them so, whenever their mother is not forcing the to come we are always having fun.”

“I’ve asked my daughter multiple times to come but she’s refused.”

“The last few weeks she has been asking me to spend time with her, but she never does anything that would interest me.”

“All she does with me is show me new clothes, talk about tv shows, and typical teenage girls stuff.”

“I am not interested in things like getting my hair done so I do not spend time with her often.”

“Last week she came to me and I refused.”

“I think this was the last straw in her book because she was furious.”

“She started calling me out saying how I never spend time with her and that I love her brothers more than I care about her.”

“Which is not true.”

“I reassured her that I love her and her brothers equally but she does not listen.”

“She asked me to try doing what she likes for a change but I explain to her how I am not interested.”

“My wife has also called me out on this.”

“When I told my friends, they told me it was just a ‘phase’ and their daughters have done the same.”

“This calmed me down but my daughter will not speak to me. I feel really bad.”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“Everything I do with my kids has to be all about me and what I like to do.”

“And if my kid has different interests, they’re useless to me and I won’t spend any time with them.”

“I have other kids whose shared interests can reflect my self-perceived glory back at me, and I am all that matters.”

“Yes, bruh. No question. YTA.”  ~ Far_Anteater_256

“I have no interest in my own daughter, repeatedly tell her that, and refuse to spend time with her like all my other children.”

“But I don’t see what’s wrong with that… even after my daughter explicitly told me that it hurts her.”

“But I’m just still not interested. Yeah, YTA.”  ~ grey-skies

“Literally. Just.”

“I refuse to spend time with my daughter.”

“Or take any interest in her interests, constantly show/tell her that her interests are boring and stupid.”

“Make it clear I have no interest in her as a person either since I only ever recommend things I want to do.”

“And I only hang out with my sons because my wife and daughter are always forcing us to do the boring and awful things they want to do.”

“And you know we complain the entire time my wife or daughter wants to do something they like with the family.”

“But my daughter is being unreasonable in saying that I don’t like or love her and that I wont spend anytime with her”

“You’re not a good dad bro, YTA.”

“Being a good dad doesn’t mean only being a good dad for the kids you have things in common with and only trying with them.”  ~ Original-Stretch-464

“There was a point I was afraid my husband would be the same.”

“Glad he proved me wrong.”

“My husband talked about all the stuff he wanted to do when he had a son.”

“He really was stuck in the mindset that he wanted an older brother to protect younger sisters (even though I am the oldest with younger brothers).”

“Our daughter was born first and it took him some time after we found out we were having a girl to adjust, but he did.”

“Then her interests were things like dance and colorguard instead of hockey and baseball, no matter how hard he tried to teach her these things.”

“He has horrible stage fright, but when she asked him to do the Dancing Dad’s performance with her, he got some anxiety meds from the doctor, practiced the heck out of the choreograhy and was one of the best up there.”

“Repeat for 5 years of dancing Dads.”

“She then decided she wanted to try with a flag and a band.”

“He is there front row of every competition he can be.”

“He finally got his son when a baby surprise arrived a few months ago.”

“He now says he is happy she came first because she made him a better dad, even to our son.”

“While he still hopes our baby will be into baseball and hockey, now he isn’t afraid of the idea that he might want to dance.”  ~ bcece

“Right? Like my husband has a beard and likes chopping wood and power tools and fishing and camping with our son.”

“But you can bet your a** when our daughter asks him to play he puts on a crown and sticks fake flowers in his beard and has a tea party with his pinky out because that’s what dads are supposed to do.”

“This is the grown up version of that. YTA dude.” ~ TheRestForTheWicked

“YTA. You (OP) push her away whenever she attempts to get close to you.”

“You constantly reject her.”

“You’re favoring your boys, and aren’t interested in her presence.”

“When I told my friends, they told me it was just a ‘phase’ and their daughters have done the same.”

“Seems like you’re in good company.”

“I guess your kids wanting to be around you is nothing but a passing phase.”

“It’s sad that you don’t discern that she loves you, and appreciates the time she has with you.”

“Instead, you make her feel left out.”

“She doesn’t want to do what you do with the boys.”

“She wants one on one time with you, doing things she likes.”

“You’re her parent, so you need to make her feel welcome and loved.”

“You excuse your unwillingness to hang out with her by saying that you propose to her to accompany you and your boys.”

“But I suppose she doesn’t like being outdoors, building things, etc.”

“She’s more feminine.”

“So you need to come up with something both she and you might find interesting.”

“It doesn’t have to be makeup.”

“You can just sit at a restaurant and talk, without involving your interests.”

“Either you didn’t think of that, or “different interests” aren’t the problem.”  ~ Compensate1995

“I cannot tell you how many Harry Potter related things I’ve done with my niece because it makes her happy.”

“I don’t love Harry Potter, but she does, and she wants to spend time with me and share something she loves.”

“I’m astounded by how thickheaded OP is.”

“You freaking do things with people you love even if they’re not the most exciting things in the world.”

“YTA OP. And you’ll never have a relationship with your daughter if you keep going down this route (and frankly, it doesn’t sound like you care).” ~ rdlenix

“YTA. Your daughter isn’t quite right.”

“It’s not that you love your sons more than her.”

“It’s that you love yourself more than all of them.”

“It’s just more convenient to spend time with your sons because they happen to be into the same things as you.”

“Being a parent is a sacrifice.”

“Sometimes that means getting out of your comfort zone and doing something that you don’t find fun.”

“Because it isn’t actually about the activity.”

“It’s about spending time together.” ~ spokanyon

Well OP… Reddit is not on your side.

It sounds like you may need a DEEP soul dive.

Perhaps a little therapy could help?

Just a thought.

Good luck to you and ALL the kids.