There is a split in opinion when it comes to non-traditional names for babies. Some people think they’re a unique way to make their children standout, while others feel it just leads to bullying.
Redditor Suitable-Way7563 has chosen names for her children, and they don’t fit the expectations of her family. The original poster (OP) refuses to change them, but questions if she’s just being “too stubborn”.
To find out, OP asked the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subreddit about her situation.
Should she have given her babies different names?
“AITA for not giving my babies ‘normal’ names?”
What even is a ‘normal’ name?
“I’m 24f and my fiancé is 27m. We’re currently expecting twin boys after trying for a year. We’ve never been more happy.”
“My family are non-religious and his are practicing catholics. He is not. I’m 7 months along and his family are asking what we’re thinking of naming them.”
“We’ve already decided on their names. Phoenix Grey and Griffin Dean.”
“We’ve never been ones for the run of the mill names. My name is out of the ordinary and my fiancé goes by his middle name Cassius.”
“The idea of calling our children, not that these names are wrong or bad, Daniel or Thomas or Samuel doesn’t sit right with us. It isn’t us.”
“My in laws are furious. One: because they’re not traditional names, two: do not bare any affiliation to family members; my fiancé is named after his grandfather, his sister is named after his aunt etc, and three: because they’re mythical creatures from other cultures.”
“That is apparently what they dislike the most. But we really love the names.”
‘We already have a girls name picked out too, Valkyrie Lee to pay homage to my Danish grandparents that cared for me when I was a teen. We actually came up with this name before I even got pregnant.”
“We like that all the names match in that they are powerful beings that can fly. We want to make our children feel powerful too.”
“My FIL says to use them as middle names and give them family names as first names but we are already in love with the full names we’ve given them. We’ve even started calling them by them and bought embroidered blankets and clothes.”
“As these are the first babies of both families, my MIL thinks I’m being selfish by not giving them traditional family names and that not doing so will set a bad precedent for the others.”
“Am I being too stubborn?”
On the AITA board, OP is judged for her choice. Is she being too obstinate?
The comments would determine that by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The most voted options didn’t think anyone here looked good. The family is overstepping their bounds and demanding from OP too much. OP is justified in not naming her children the family names they want.
But OP isn’t without blame either. Although this was about the concept of picking different names from their family’s expectations, many commenters pointed out that the specific choices in name will likely see the kids bullied.
In short, everybody sucks here.
“ESH”
“Please at least give your kids normal middle names that they can switch to if they prefer. Valkyrie has some really negative undertones to me as a European, it does not connote power or strength in any positive way.”
“On the other hand, your in laws need to stop complaining, its not their decision and family names are not something that should be forced onto the next generation.” – firefly232
“ESH. The in-laws are being absurd thinking they can pick out your babies names.”
“You suck for picking names straight out of Harry Potter creature land. Those poor kids.” – Lesley82
“YTA it’s you children who will have to suffer your choice to name them after X-Men characters.”
“You don’t have to pick a family name or even a top 10 common name but they deserve better than this.” – Dookwithanegg
“ESH”
“These are absolutely terrible names. They scream my dad has greasy hair and my mom is really into renaissance fairs.”
“However, you have the choice to mess up your kids if you want to. Your in laws are right to be concerned but they ultimately don’t have any say.” – m0renita
“ESH. Your inlaws don’t get to name your children. But they will always have an opinion, listen to them and be courtous. Then name your children what you want.”
“Word of caution from a parent who gave her a child a unique name. DON’T DO IT! It’s not cute or fun for them spending their entire existence explaining a stupid name.”
“I don’t have many regrets in life, but that childs name is probably my biggest. I am making it my mission for the rest of my life to warn parents everywhere of the stupidity of doing this to an innocent child.”
“Get a dog and give it a stupid name.” – justlookinaround20
In the end, the judgements and opinions of the board didn’t matter. OP said she received private messages from people with the names and has decided she isn’t wrong.
Which kind of feels like she doesn’t understand how this board works.
“Edit: People are bullied for all kinds of reasons. Hair. Eyes. Glasses. Braces. Style. Foot size. Ears. Biting fingernails. Makeup. No makeup. Fat. Thin. Short. Tall. Rich. Poor.”
“Being called Phoenix or Griffin may not be as common as Sophie or Max, but they’re not bully worthy. Also, I didn’t ask if you liked the names just about the concept. Don’t judge us by American standards because we’re not American.”
“Many people with all three of these names have messaged me privately and I’m sure I am not the a**hole now. Thank all of you nice and respectful people.”
“No need to give your opinions now.”
Maybe things will work out, and OP’s kids won’t experience bullying over their names. It’s entirely possible the commenters in the AITA board are being overly cautious.
Still, OP’s insistence that she couldn’t possibly be wrong doesn’t look good or bode well. Perhaps a little self-reflection is in order.