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Mom Stunned After Fiancé Cancels Trip Because She Asked To Bring 10-Year-Old Son Last Minute

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Kids get in the way of a lot.

That is just part of the deal when becoming a parent.

You have to make sacrifices, and a lot of the time, those sacrifices are not fun.

Case in point…

Redditor Applet757767 to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for cancelling the trip after my fiancée decided to bring her 10-year-old son with us?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I M[ale] 33 have been with Natalie F[emale] 32 for 2 years.”

“We’re getting married soon and she shares custody of her 10 year old son with her ex husband.”

“Ever since her ex husband got sick, Natalie kept bringing her son over more often.”

“Sometimes her mom would take him due to work etc.”

“We’ve been having issues because of that because Natalie has to bring my stepson with us whenever we go.”

“We started going out less and less.”

“Since it’s been a month since we’ve gone out and since her ex has gotten better.”

“I’ve arranged for a trip to the beach for the weekend, it’s supposed to be a couple’s getaway.”

“She was excited for it and prepared for everything.”

“The night before the trip she comes up to me and says ‘hey, Tom is sick again and he asked if I could take Taylor to spend the weekend with us.'”

“I was gobsmacked.”

“I asked what she told him and she said she agreed.”

“She then proceeded to tell me that she’d like to take Taylor with us to the beach.”

“I got upset and told her to not bother because the trip was officially cancelled.”

“She looked at me shocked but I told her she shouldn’t act shocked and surprised after she successfully ruined yet another opportunity for us to have quality, alone time together.”

“She went on about how she couldn’t believe that I expect her to ditch her son since her mom was busy as well and getting a babysitter wasn’t on the table.”

“I just shrugged and told her it was done then I walked out.”

“I went with the guys instead and she has been upset with me about it saying I could’ve just agreed to let my stepson Taylor come with us.”

“And we would’ve at least had some family time together while Tom gets better.”

“She said I was the one who screwed up, AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

But before we do… OP came back with a few extra comments…

“EDIT/INFO:  Because I feel like this has gone into a whole different direction. Folks here need to chill the hell out.”

“Nowhere, NOWHERE in my post did I mention not being ready or accepting to be a stepparent.”

“Trust me, I am ready and so far have been nothing but understanding and patient.”

“I love my stepson and consider him as my own BUT — (and read this carefully) my PROBLEM is with his mom constantly changing plans last minute and not even asking if that’s okay with me.”

“And yes I had to go out with the guys instead.”

“Didn’t know what else to do since she obviously wanted some space from me for the weekend”

“Which is alright with me By The Way…”

“I’m not mad about that AT ALL…”

“I’d just appreciated it if she’d been a little bit more…. considerate of my thoughts and opinions.”

Lets’s discuss…

“OP… YTA because yes your edit does not make your story better.”

“In fact, your edit, I agree with the above.”

“She’s a mom, and her coparent is ill. She will never not be a mom.”

“She can’t ask your permission or discuss if it’s OK with you if she can parent her child.”

“The answer will always be ‘yes’ whether you are ok with it or not.”

“The need for her to be one will be on-call.”

“There’s no for sure set schedule where things can’t change at a moment’s notice.”

“What if he gets sick at school? Gets hurt? “

“His dad gets sick again and again? He has a school function and needs a ride?”

“There are so many things in which she will drop things to be there for him.”

“You are not ready to be a parent and be self-sacrificing for it.”

“Sure, parents still need ‘them’ time, but you take it where you can and you adapt.”

“His dad getting sick is something you have to adapt to.”

“Be patient, kind, loving, and helpful.”

“Don’t be a burden and more work for her.”  ~ MooseHonest3380

“Reminds me EXACTLY of the guy I dated for 5 years.”

“Carried a photo of my daughter in his wallet.”

“Would gush about ‘his daughter’ to his coworkers.”

“But he would NEVER want to hang out on the days I had her.”

“And whenever she did actually see him, his patience with a toddler/child was non existent.”

“She was 8 when I broke up with him after 5 years of dating.”

“And not even a year later I asked her about him and she had absolutely NO clue who I was talking about.”  ~ AlertBaseball

“When you’re looking for validation and it backfires.”

“This man scrambling to justify complaining about being a parent while saying ‘No I’m ready to be a parent.'”

‘”But you gotta notify me 2-3 business days beforehand on when I have to be a parent.'”

“‘Because otherwise it’s really inconvenient and rude of you to have your child around me 24/7.'”

“Dude grow the hell up.”

“You can’t contradict yourself like that, you’re not ready to be a parent.”

“Fair enough, but have the decency to tell her that, kids aren’t going to work around your schedule and wants.”

“They. Are. Kids! YTA!”  ~ elena247

“My favorite is when the OP starts acting like we’re crazy a** delusional projecting people reading mad subtext that isn’t there.”

“It’s like bro, if literally thousands of people on the Internet are seeing something in your post it’s not that it’s going in another direction is that you outed yourself as an a**hole and didn’t even realize you were doing it.”   ~ BasicChick314

“For God’s sake, she didn’t change the plan because she wanted to, her ex got sick.”

“Just what exactly did you expect her to do in this situation?”

“Drop the kid off at the orphanage? Leave him home by himself? YTA.”

“You said in a comment that you love the kid like your own.”

“Did you call your family to see if anyone could watch him?”  ~ XStonedCatX

“Yeah OP I think you’re missing the point on multiple fronts.”

“For one thing, dating someone with a kid means that that kid is going to have to take priority at times and will need to tag along.”

“That’s the nature of the beast when it comes to dating a parent.”

“Especially in this case, where it sounds like the ex is like… sick sick.”

“Like long term sick and has bouts where it acts up kind of sick.”

“I get the dad’s point of view, you don’t really want to expose a kid to that kind of thing and if it’s bad enough where you can’t take care of yourself (which it sounds like it is), it’s better for mom to take him until the ex can get better.”

“The kid’s needs come first. And he needs to be taken care of by his mom.”

“And OP, if it is how it sounds and the ex passes away, wtf do you expect is going to happen?”

“When that kid comes to live full time, you’re not going to get ‘quality time’ like you think you will.”

“Getaway trips might rarely happen, having time alone together will rarely happen.”

“Once again, that’s the nature of the beast when you are dating a person with a kid.”

“If you can’t handle that now when it is more like a part time thing.”

“You are not going to be able to handle it at all down the line.”

“Get out of this relationship.”

“You are obviously not really prepared for the challenges being a step parent actually has.” ~ Fun_Frosting_797

“Yeah OP, YTA. If you saw him as your own as you claim, you would know that YOUR OWN KIDS cancel plans all the time.”

“You are 1. Being an a**hole to the your fiancé.”

“2. Being an a**hole to the kid.”

“He has no control over someone’s health or plans.”

“He’s simply getting dumped away because he didn’t fit your plan.”

“Lastly, how the hell do you get off leaving with your boys during a disagreement lmao.”

“I wouldn’t even have gone to the bar with the boys man.”

“Wtf is wrong with you!?”  ~ jrd0582

Being a parent is a fulltime gig.

Even when parents need some time away.

So according to Reddit, OP may have a lot to think about when discussing his thoughts on being a step-parent.

Good luck to everyone.