Sharing food can always be a delicate matter.
Many people take great joy in sharing food, feeling a half-portion is all they need and find that sharing is actually caring.
Others are a bit less eager, sometimes because they don't love people putting their hands on their plates, other times simply because they don't want to lose even one bite of their delicious food.
The girlfriend of Redditor frenchfryybandito loved sharing food with the (OP).
One food in particular.
The problem was, the OP didn't really view this so much as "sharing", and instead felt that their girlfriend was eating more of their food than they were.
The OP thought they found a solution to this problem.
When their solution ended up offending their girlfriend instead, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for getting an extra order of fries for my girlfriend?"
The OP explained how their plan ended up backfiring:
"I feel like I’m going absolutely crazy for this being an argument and I need someone objective to tell me if I f*cked up."
"My girlfriend is a French fry bandit."
"She always takes half of my French fries without fail."
"When we go out, and I get a burger with fries, I already know half are going to her."
"My issue is that French fries are one of my favorite foods because I have the palate of a child."
"I always get myself a side of fries, and I always ask my girlfriend if she wants fries as well, it’s always a no, but once they show up half go to her."
"So recently we were out for dinner and I wanted steak frites, she wanted a salad."
"I was hungry and admittedly had a bad day and was grouchy, and I asked her if she also wanted fries with her salad."
"She said no."
"So when the server came, I ordered for us, and I ordered my steak frites, and a salad for her and an extra side of fries."
"She said that she didn't want fries, I said that I wanted extra fries so we pushed on."
"When the server dropped off the food, I immediately pushed the extra fries to her."
"She was upset; she said she didn’t want them."
"Then I said I’d have them. As we got in the car, she told me that I was being a d*ck and ordering fries for her when she said she didn’t want them was incredibly condescending of me to assume I know what she wants."
"The kicker is, SHE ATE THE EXTRA FRIES. SHE WANTED THE EXTRA FRIES."
"I ate my fries and she ate pretty much the entire side, even though I was planning on eating them."
"She’s been with me for a year; of course I know she’s gonna eat the fries; she does it every time."
"She’s been pissed about it since, and I feel like I’m taking crazy pills on why I’m the a**hole here."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for ordering their girlfriend an extra side of fries.
Just about everyone agreed that the OP pretty much proved his point based on the fact that she ended up eating the fries she claimed she didn't want, even though some felt like she demonstrated clear signs of an eating disorder, and the OP might want to discuss it with their girlfriend:
"NTA."
"I don't know if she thinks it's cute, but it's clearly dysfunctional."
"She needs to be honest about what she wants and, at the bare minimum, not attack you for being realistic about the amount of food you're both ordering."
"On a more compassionate note, it sounds like she might have an eating disorder or, at the very least, a bad relationship with food."
"You may want to have that conversation with her."- sleepinginthebushes_
"NTA she lost that argument when she ate them."
"I agree with other comments to not share anymore and she can order her own if she decides she wants some."- 4cloverstorm
"NTA you knew she would want to eat some fries so you got extra so she could have some."- Witty-Cat1996
"NTA."
"I HATE when people won’t order their own food, and then dive into yours as soon as it hits the table."
"My sister will NEVER order dessert, and attacks mine before it even hits the table."
"Tell gf to f*ck off."- Mcbriec
"NTA."
"You know she likes fries."
"You got her fries."
"She ate the fries."
"She didn’t eat your fries."
"She is still mad….. she is being annoying."- No-Weakness-5495NTA.
"She obviously wanted them if she ate them."
"And if this is a pattern she can't get mad that you protected your own fries but also didn't deny her."
"Does she have a history of any sort of body issues or eating disorders in her past?"
"This is pretty common when someone is shamed about how much they eat."
"So I'd approach more gently on why this is happening."
"But.... you're not wrong, obviously."- lainmelle
"NTA."
"Your gf is being weird."
"My ex wife used to do that, and apparently taking food away from me was as important as having it for herself."- Intrepid-Deer-3449
"NTA but please set boundaries."
"If you don’t want her to take your fries, then tell her no."
"She can order her own fries or go without."- Jean_Marie_1989
"'No, I don't want fries!'- She says as she devours all the fries."
"A resounding NTA, but your girlfriend certainly is."
"Still, I'd say talk with her and mention that you know her well enough to know that she'd like some."
"This doesn't have to be an entirely negative thing for you guys."- Tripptych
"NTA."
"She's probably just mad that you called her out without directly calling her out."
"That's childish behavior, especially when it's true."
"I won't say dump her, but I personally would."
"That's annoying behavior and life is too short to spend it like that."- Striking_Emu_Dancer
"NTA."
"Never the a**hole for buying extra fries."- Mediocre-Can-4371
"You highlighted a cognitive dissonance and disordered relationship with food that she has, but you're NTA."
"She needs to figure out her own deal with hot chip, and to stop lying to herself."- Tree_Chemistry_Plz
"NTA."
"You know her better than she knows herself."
"That can be embarrassing to some people."- HoneybucketDJ
"Then don't share next time so at least you know what the fight is about."
"NTA."- bzzybee01
"NTA."
"Point out that you weren’t wrong."
"She ate the fries! Is she mad that you were right?"- WhiteSandSadness
"NTA, she's a bit loony though."- Daymanwoaah
"NTA."
"She probably thinks it's cute/funny to take half your fries instead of the truth, which is that she's an a** for not getting her own fries and taking away from what you want to eat."- mexicock1
"NTA."
"Good on you for getting extra fries she said she didn't want but ate anyway."
"At least you didn't blow up on her for it when she ate half your portion if you hadn't ordered extra."
"Sounds like she's being difficult for the sake of it."
"I think you should point it out to her if you haven't already."- sponch915
"NTA."
"My Mrs does this."
"Drives me nuts. It's not cute or funny."
"Just order the food you want and eat it."
"Don't pretend like you're not that hungry, and try and eat mine when the food shows up."
"I've done what you did, it allows you to eat the meal you ordered."- RudytheMan
"NTA."
"Having extra fries is never a bad idea."
"And if she didn’t want some, she wouldn’t eat them."- Dreamingofapastlife
"Had she not eaten them, she might have had a leg to stand on."
"NTA but unfortunately you'll have to keep doing that until she can be respectful."- No_Remove5947
"As a very territorial food person, you did the objectively correct thing."
"NTA."
"In fact, you are a hero."- Ok-Asparagus-904
"NTA."
"But next time just order yourself a double order so you get the fries you want, and she can have whatever her deal is stealing fries."
"Unless that's something you don't want to do for some reason."- Possible_Tiger_5125
"NTA."
"And she sounds exhausting."- Foreign-Onion-3112
"NTA."
"I wouldn’t have pushed the plate towards her though."
"Some restaurants have a sub menu for people like your girlfriend."
"The funny meal add-on includes 'extra French fries to your entrée, and fried chicken wings (2) or fried cheese sticks (3) for $x.xx.'"- bcjc78
It's hard to believe the OP's girlfriend was telling the truth about not wanting the French fries when she ate them all.
That being said, it does seem that her hesitancy to order them herself suggests insecurities about what she eats, if not a flat-out disorder.
A discussion the OP and their partner should definitely have sooner rather than later.
