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Guy Irate After Wife Ditches Honeymoon To Care For Sister Who Went Into Labor At Their Wedding

Annoyed man on the beach looking at a mobile screen.

Choosing between family and a partner can be a difficult decision.

Choosing between a partner and oneself can also be nearly impossible.

But these types of decisions are made every day and are often unavoidable.

Sometimes marriage works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Better to know sooner than later. Right?

Redditor Hot-Fly-1091 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA because I went on my honeymoon without my brand new wife since she ‘had’ to take care of her sister?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I just got married.”

“My wife, Tonya, basically raised her sister, Marie, after their mom passed away.”

“Even after their dad remarried, Tonya and her sister were more mom/daughter than sisters.”

“Marie got married last year, and she got pregnant right away.”

“No, not before.”

“They figure they got pregnant on their honeymoon.”

“Marie went into premature labor at our wedding reception.”

“She gave birth to a tiny but healthy baby girl.”

“And for some reason, Tonya decided that she needed to go take care of her.”

“We were supposed to leave for our honeymoon two days after our wedding but Tonya said she couldn’t just leave.”

“She isn’t a doctor or a nurse.”

“Marie has a dad, a stepmom, a husband, a mother, and a F[ather]-I[n]-L[aw].”

“I don’t understand why she had to go.”

“But we had nonrefundable tickets.”

“And insurance didn’t cover ‘I have to stay and take care of my sister’ as part of the coverage.”

“Plus I had booked two weeks off for my wedding and honeymoon.”

“So since I was going to be home by myself doing nothing while my wife was in another city doing whatever I went on the honeymoon by myself.”

“I got a massive bed all to myself.”

“I used all the resort credits that were for couples massages, romantic excursions, and special meals on deep sea fishing and a dune buggy tour of the island.”

“I just got back, and my wife is still with her sister.”

“But she is upset that I went on our honeymoon by myself.”

“Was I supposed to let the money go to waste?”

“Was I supposed to sit at home playing Diablo while I waited for her to be done?”

“We are fighting about it.”

“My friends all agree that I would have been dumb to waste the money and my time off.”

“Her friends think I was a d**k to go enjoy myself while she was taking care of her sister and a new baby.”

“I will add that there was no place for me to stay at Marie’s house.”

“Tonya is sleeping in the nursery since the baby is still in N[eonatal] I[ntensive] C[are] U[nit].”

The OP was left to wonder:


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“Probably not too late for an annulment.” ~ TrickyExperience1671

“Or, a Dissolution of Marriage.”

“It’s available in some places and is kind of a ‘short form’ divorce for very short marriages, no kids, and no community property.” ~ ConvivialKat

“In some places, it doesn’t even need to be a short marriage.”

“Just the fact that there are no children involved would make it a Simple Dissolution of Marriage in Florida for example.”

“However, in that you are still able to divide up any assets and liabilities (although it is optional).” ~ shaakti1520

“God, I’d be looking at that and telling him.”

“You’d better seriously consider it right now before it gets too deep.” ~ ArtfulDoggie

“I wish I could upvote more than once.”

“That woman is going to put her sister/daughter first always if she can’t even do her honeymoon (outside of life and death situation).”

“That’s the only exception for this situation, and it doesn’t sound like that’s the case.” ~ Inevitable-tragedy

“NTA. And this comes from a mom of a baby who was born last year at 30 weeks gestation and weighed 2 lbs 7 oz.”

“She literally cannot do anything to help with the baby in the NICU.”

“Sure, she can be there to support the parents, but it sounds to me like they had other people able to do so.”

“Your wife could have gone on the honeymoon.”

“I went through a similar situation while I was in the hospital, and I made my dad go on his trip.”

“I ended up having an emergency C-section while he was in route on the plane…🙃”

“Anyways, absolutely NTA.”

“I hope you enjoyed your trip!” ~ BetDesigner7611

“Another former NICU mom here.”

“My twins were born at 35+2, and both right around 5 lbs.”

“With the baby in the NICU, there is exactly nothing OP’s wife can do to help with the baby – and it sounds like she probably has inserted herself unnecessarily. NTA.” ~ Kittycoppermine1001

“I scrolled way too far to find this take.”

“New mom TOLD OP’s wife to go on honeymoon.”

“She didn’t go anyway.”

“She even stayed in her home, in her nursery.”

“Now OP’s wife is salty.”

“Here’s my hypothesis…”

“OP’s wife is salty bc she knows she was wrong.”

“She should have gone.”

“She has ‘raised’ her sister, who is now fully an adult and refuses to cut the apron strings.”

“I have a feeling Sis is growing resentful of OP’s wife, maybe she still treats her like a child, hovers, maybe she wants more of a sisterly relationship now that they’re grown, etc.”

“I think OP’s wife is salty because she felt she wasn’t wanted there.”

“She knew she was in the way and grew more salty day after day that her ‘sacrifice’ wasn’t appreciated.”

“Heck, she sacrificed so much to raise her sister and her honeymoon (in her eyes), and it’s not even appreciated!”

“Instead of doing some introspection, realizing she was at fault, and making changes, she wadded up all that anger and threw it at OP.”

“Just my 2 cents.” ~ kaekiro

“I would have done the same.”

“All that money was lost because his wife wanted to sit at her sister’s side with the husband, parents, I[n]-L[aw]s, and the entire hospital staff?”

“The baby is healthy though premature.”

“So he was supposed to use his vacation time doing what?”

“Sitting around waiting while his wife keeps her sister comfortable?”

“The last time I was in the hospital, I asked people not to visit me.”

“I just wanted to try to sleep, and to that end, I brought my own earplugs because hospitals are loud. NTA.” ~ FleeshaLoo

“NTA, not even a little.”

“Your new wife made a choice to stay and leave you on your honeymoon, her sister wasn’t in any real danger and she had a good support system in place without her.”

“Having said that, you two have clearly started your marriage on the wrong foot and it will take a serious amount of time and effort to work out if it’s possible.”

“It’s clear you feel hurt, and she feels the same, so there will have to be some serious and hard conversations to have with each other.” ~ N0b0dy-Imp0rtant

“Definitely NTA.”

“Your wife prioritized her sister when she should have prioritized going on the honeymoon with you, OP.”

“If she continues putting her sister before you, your marriage may not last.”

“You and your wife need to talk about boundaries and expectations before it’s too late.” ~ No-Alarm-2208

“NTA. The baby isn’t even home from the hospital!?!?”

“She could’ve given her equal support over FaceTime.”

“She’s enmeshed with her sister and needs to reprioritize now that she’s married.” ~ Late_Perception_7173

“No, NTA. Your wife didn’t want to miss out on anything with the newborn, so she didn’t care about the honeymoon and expected you just to stay home and cool your heels.”

“She wasn’t expecting you actually to go on your honeymoon alone.”

“Now she’s pissed because she knows she wasn’t needed and didn’t miss anything, and you had a great time without her!”

“How dare you!” ~ Difficult_Process_88

OP came back with an update.

“The baby, Emily, is home and healthy. Just tiny.”

“My S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] kicked my wife out the day the baby came home.”

“Tonya wouldn’t let her do anything.”

“Marie told her that she had plenty of help.”

“Tonya said she didn’t mind sticking around.”

“Marie told her that she and her husband did have a problem with it.”

“Marie also told all her relatives that if Tonya was staying with them, they weren’t allowed over until she left.”

“Tonya asked if I would mind if she rented an Airbnb so she could stay nearby.”

“I said I would prefer if she came home.”

“We had an argument.”

“I said that we should just not actually get married if this was going to be my life.”

“Tonya came home to fight face to face.”

“We had the fancy wedding and reception in Iowa for her family.”

“We were going to get ‘officially’ married in Colorado after we got back from the honeymoon.”

“She wants to know why I’m having second thoughts.”

“I showed her the original post and how almost 50% of the comments were calling for an annulment.”

“I said we are both young and can walk away without losing much.”

“All the gifts are in her dad’s garage and they are easy enough to return.”

“I said that there was no way I was going to put up with being the third wheel in our marriage.”

“She has agreed to start going to counseling and we are going to hold off on getting the paperwork settled for one year to give her a chance to decide what she wants.”

“If she says that her sister comes first after one year then I’m out.”

“That’s all. No more drama.”

“Thanks to everyone who told me where I stood.”

“I love Tonya but I love myself too.”

“Everyone who said I was an a**hole for not understanding why she was needed can suck it.”

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

It sounds like your wife has A LOT to think about.

It’s great to hear that she has committed to therapy.

Couple’s therapy may not be a bad idea either.

Hopefully, the year ahead will be a happy one.

Good luck.