We can all agree that not every relationship is doomed to fail, but we can also agree that there are serious dealbreakers.
One of those definitely has to be differences in opinion about having pets, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Warm-Art-378 called out his fiancée when she made it clear how she felt about his pet ball python.
When she went back to her parents’ house, the Original Poster (OP) questioned the future of his relationship.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for kicking my fiancée out of the house for letting my snake loose outside?”
The OP thought everything would be fine with his snake and his fiancée.
“I (27 Male) have always been an animal lover. I love snakes, tarantulas, scorpions, lizards, geckos, dogs, and cats.”
“When I moved out of my parents’ house and into my townhome, I decided to adopt a ball python. She is very docile and loves to be held. I set her tank up in one of the rooms downstairs.”
“When my fiancée (28 Female) and I decided that we were ready to move in together, I slowly introduced her to the snake. She thought the snake was really cool and even held her a few times.”
His fiancée seemed to have a change of heart.
“But a few months ago, her friends came over, and ever since then, she has been asking me to find a new home for the snake.”
“I had to travel to another state for work and trusted her to take care of the snake.”
“I was gone for a week and when I came back, I saw the tank completely gone. I searched all over the house and it was nowhere to be found.”
“I went outside and check the wooded area behind the townhome and found the tank. The tank was open and no sign of the snake.”
The OP confronted her.
“When my fiancée got home, I showed her the tank and told her to pack a suitcase and find another place to stay.”
“Her defense was that I was giving the snake too much attention.”
“My fiancée is currently staying with her parents, and they think that I am overreacting over an animal.”
“My fiancée is upset that I won’t talk to her or accept her apology.”
“AITA for kicking my fiancée out of the house for letting my snake loose outside?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some suggested ending the relationship entirely.
“This relationship is f**ked up on so many levels. The casual animal abuse, the fact that she likely killed something she knew you love, the jealousy towards a pet, the secret betrayal. And not to mention her family backing her up that all of this is no big deal?”
“OP, your life will be h**l if you marry this f**ked up person and her f**ked up family. (NTA)” – Oshootman
“I don’t see how OP is going to overcome this resentment and her betrayal.”
“Could OP ever trust her to look after anything mundane ever again?”
“Who gets jealous of a pet? Then releases it into the wild? What’s going to happen to any other pets you get that she is jealous of?” – Practical-Big7550
“NTA. OP, I think you spelled ex-fiance wrong. If she has so little respect for you and things that are important to you now, then know things will only get worse.”
“She probably wanted to see how much control she could exercise over you. The correct answer is none. Don’t play her games.” – nsfwns
“Honestly, for most of the posts that hit 1k+ upvotes, I normally find I’m annoyed when OP still refers to the partner as ‘fiance/e’ after the way they act.”
“Of course, I have no emotional entanglement in these situations, but it seems like most posts here are about willful and malicious choices, not a little ‘Oops, I was careless and accidentally made a mistake.'” – stumblios
“I had 2 snakes I raised from babies starting in 7th grade when I joined a herpetology club at school. “hen I went away to college, my dad was going to keep feeding them while I was away. My dad had invested a lot of money in custom tanks (one of my snakes was over 6′) and hardware.”
“Well, on my first break from college, I walked in the house and saw the tanks were gone. My mom had simply ‘rehomed’ them, supposedly given to some rescue.”
“Her excuse was, ‘I didn’t play with them’ (wtf, they’re SNAKES, what am I supposed to do, play fetch?), but I know she was just waiting for an excuse because she never liked them.”
“I STILL haven’t forgiven her 14 years later and she gave them away to a new HOME. I can’t even imagine how I would feel if she had simply let them loose somewhere. Snakes are excellent pets and just because they’re not ‘cute’ doesn’t mean they don’t have any value.”
“I could never spend my life with someone who has such little regard for life, in general, to have released domesticated snakes into the wild. I definitely think this falls under the category of irreconcilable differences and OP should think long and hard about whether he wants to marry this person.” – Material-Wolf
“It’s horrible! I’m so incensed on OP’s behalf.”
“Much sympathy for you, OP. You did the right thing, and finish dodging the bullet by going NC (no contact). That is psychopathic behavior.”
“NTA x a billion.” – Screamscaper
Others agreed and said the fiancée likely killed the snake.
“She very likely killed it due to it being used to being a pet and unused to being outside. This would be like letting a dog run free. OP should break off the engagement.” – SpaceAceCase
“Her friends complained about an animal that I’m willing to bet did nothing but exist in its tank while they were over. Instead of shrugging it off or telling them to get over it like any rational adult would do, she chose to do something purposefully malicious because OP wouldn’t cave to the secondhand peer pressure to get rid of his pet.”
“NTA OP. Not even remotely. Your fiance stole your snake and released it into the wild likely condemning it to death unless it’s miraculously found before freezing or starving.”
“She and her friends are garbage people and she cares more about their opinions than your happiness. Your life (and any other pets you may have or want in the future) will be better off without any of them in it).” – Nyxeris721
“That type of snake needs warmth and humidity. Unless OP lives in a tropical climate she likely died a pretty awful death pretty quickly.”
“I wouldn’t just end this relationship, I’d file a complaint with local animal control. If she was going to do this f**ked up thing, she could have given it away or surrendered it to a shelter. Instead, she killed it by neglect.” – catlandid
“Ball Pythons absolutely need higher humidity to be healthy, but low humidity wouldn’t kill them in a week (source: the amount of terrible bp husbandry out there).”
“However there are so many ways the poor snake might have been hurt or killed in that time, and finding them is going to be difficult even if they are still alive.”
“God, I hope OP is able to find their baby and that they can be taken to a vet and looked after again. If someone I trusted did that to my sweet hognose…” – Tay74
“With snakes, domestication is a relatively small issue depending on the life cycle of the specific species (certain snakes need to grow up in the habitat they live in since they learn the ‘safe’ places).”
“The bigger concern is one of climate. A ball python is not meant for a lot of places, being a tropical species.”
“Even if the snake is perfectly suited to the habitat, life in the wild is hard. Animals die a lot.” – PM_Your_Unicorn
“Not only is it illegal, but it’s also immoral. She didn’t release the snake into the wild she essentially killed OP’s pet. The snake will most likely never survive in the wild.” – findingwhatiwant
“It’s either unlikely to survive or, alternatively, it does and causes death and destruction to the native animals where it lives.”
“What doesn’t happen is the snake survives and no harm is done to it or the local environment.”
“This is insanely cruel to OP, the snake, and the other innocent animals in the vicinity of where it was released.” – Atty_Aveline
While the OP struggled with being criticized by his future partner, her friends, and her family, the subReddit insisted he was right to feel the way he did.
Not only had she broken the OP’s trust by not following through on her promise, but she also released an animal that he loved, which would likely die because of being unable to fend for itself long- term, though likely not before doing some damage to the surrounding ecosystem.