While a lot of issues can end a relationship, two key points of concern are physical intimacy and money management. When a couple can’t agree on these two subjects, there’s little they can do to save the relationship.
Unfortunately, the realization that they disagree on one of these subjects can come from unexpected places, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Ahouseofwolves was excited for his girlfriend when they put together a random sporting bet, only for her to win the bet.
But when he realized that she had different feelings about sharing money than he did, the Original Poster (OP) questioned if they could have a healthy relationship.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend over her selfishness?”
The OP gave his girlfriend an idea for placing an unexpected sporting bet.
“I (27 Male) recently broke up with my girlfriend (25 Female), and I’m starting to wonder if I went too far.”
“Here’s the backstory. About a month ago, I suggested she try a crazy parlay bet combining basketball, NHL, and cricket games. It was just for fun, but she actually went for it. We even split the initial bet money 50/50.”
“And she freaking won. Like, she hit the jackpot and won a ton of money.”
“I was pumped for her, honestly, because it was a wild bet, and it paid off big time. She withdrew the money from Stake and there were no problems…”
But the OP was surprised by how his girlfriend treated him after that.
“Now, here’s where things get tricky. When she won, I thought she’d at least share some of the winnings with me since I was the one who suggested the bet and even pitched in half the money.”
“I didn’t expect half or anything, but a nice gesture would’ve been cool.”
“Instead, she didn’t offer me anything. Not even a thank you dinner or a small cut. Nada. I was a little surprised but figured she’d come around.”
“Weeks went by, and still nothing. I brought it up casually, and she just brushed it off, saying it was her money and she didn’t owe me anything.”
“I tried to explain that I wasn’t trying to take her winnings but just wanted to feel appreciated.”
“She got defensive and accused me of being greedy and trying to take advantage of her.”
The OP decided that he valued feeling appreciated more than the relationship.
“I was hurt and felt really unappreciated, so I ended things.”
“Now I’m second-guessing myself. Did I overreact?”
“Was I wrong for expecting something in return for helping her win that money? I mean, it wasn’t like I was asking for half, but a little acknowledgment or something would’ve been nice.”
“Anyway, I’m feeling kinda crappy about it all and wondering if I’m the a**hole here.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some didn’t understand why the girlfriend was resistant to sharing the winnings.
“NTA. If you put down half the money for the bet, then wouldn’t that make you equal to half the winnings?”
“You could always fight it in court… Then she would have no choice but to pay if a judge ruled against her for not sharing the winnings. I would bring up the fact that you put up half the bet so that should entitle you to some of the winnings.” – Strangegirl421
“I don’t understand her thinking at all. Not only did he put down half the money, but he gave her the bet!” – midniterun10
“I play on the same site as OP (Stake) and have had this issue with a friend once. We won $10k off a $100 bet and I gave him the pick and half the $$$. We split it. Literally not an issue.”
“What the heck is the OP’s ex-girlfriend’s problem? At least she’s an ex…” – joastedchuggling
“I don’t understand how she could be so defensive, as if she did the bet all on her own.”
“Even if I win on the lottery scratchers we occasionally buy, my husband gets at least half. H**l, I usually use my ‘allowance’ on him because he makes sure I have everything I need and most of my wants!! He even buys cute outfits just because he wants to make me smile.”
“I don’t know how she can be this selfish towards someone she supposedly cares about!!” – ReneParrish
“NTA! My partner and I have a long-standing agreement to split any potential lottery winnings no matter who buys the ticket. Of course, neither of us has ever won the lottery, but it seems fair to me to split the money that could potentially change both of our family’s lives if it ever did happen.”
“If anything, she is being the greedy one here by refusing to give you anything since you split it 50/50.” – littleprettypaws
“NTA. You put in half the cash… then you get half the winnings.”
“I cannot imagine being so selfish.”
“It is like a lotto syndicate, in my opinion; everyone who puts in gets an equal share.” – squirlysquirel
“NTA. There are so many ways that I am selfish and inconsiderate, and still, I would’ve given you half. No questions asked.”
“You put up half of the money, which in my mind means that half is yours. Half the risk means half the reward.”
“Any lingering selfishness about giving you half would be easy to manage because my integrity would still be intact. And that’s worth more than half that haul! The relationship should have been more important to her than the money.” – Dazzling-Excuses
“My husband and I talked about if we ever hit the lotto-type situation.”
“We decided we would set up a postnup where half of the earnings go to each other in a setup where we can live off the interest, grow it the amount, and help others as we are able to. He would help his side of the family with his and I would help mine. Then we split general bills.”
“What is the OP’s girlfriend on about?” – NewSide4308
“You chip in half the money and I win big, you get half the winnings. There is no discussion about it.”
“The fact she has the audacity to call HIM greedy when he pointed out that keeping it all seems to be a little unfair, tells him all he needs to know. Good riddance.” – uniqueusername649
Others agreed and reassured the OP that he had made the right choice.
“She’s not the kind of person you want to be with.” – Subject_Kangaroo905
“Yeah, if she called me greedy, that would have pushed me to end it, as well. Like, she is literally being GREEDY but calls OP greedy when she has not given him a dime of the winnings. She was projecting HARD.” – jcaashby
“It’s not about the winnings or how much money you are entitled to, it’s just simple: she’s not the person you want to be with, because to her, this makes total sense. To you, it doesn’t, and that’s probably too big a difference to overcome.” – ShadyBelle92
“She sounds like someone who sees her money as her money and your money as ‘our money.’ I’d say you made a good call. Even if it wasn’t 50/50, the fact she didn’t share ANY of it comes across like she’ll be very selfish in the future.” – Totsy30
“You should be entitled to some of the winnings from the money that you put in. At the very least just get your money back from what you put in. However, the reality is you might just not get that money and it sucks that that happened (hopefully it wasn’t a lot).”
“The money seemed more important to her than your relationship. Not a relationship you should be in.” – user08230
“She sounds greedy. If I won money, I’d buy my partner a gift or we’d go on a nice vacation together. She didn’t even give you a thought. You can do better.” – montanagrizfan
“It only cost you half the stake money to see who she was. Cheap, and, um, cheap…” – Plymath6301
“My thought is you know how they say that couples arguing a lot are arguing about an underlying issue? That underlying issue is most times money. If that type of issue is already surfacing in the relationship and in plain view, it’s a preview of the future.”
“The purpose of dating is to find a compatible mate and it sounds like this couple is just not compatible (regardless of whether one views the girlfriend as selfish or wrong).”
“I hope that if OP focuses on it in that regard, it will help him feel more comfortable with his decision.” – Jacerin
“Bro, the money was more important than the relationship. Never be with or marry someone who takes money over you.”
“Technically, she owed you half of the money since you paid for half the ticket. But she said it was her money so she wants the money, she can have it at the cost of a relationship.”
“When you broke up with her, did she offer you money then? If not, you dodged a bullet.”
“If you won the money and she paid for 50% of the bet, I can guarantee you she’s demanding half the money. Be at peace with your decision. You trusted your gut. Keep doing that.” – HVAC_God71164
As conflicted as the OP might have been about ending the relationship over money, the subReddit argued that money was more important to the ex-girlfriend than the relationship.
While he was fueled by wanting to feel appreciated and recognized, she was fueled by greed, and those two needs could not possibly coexist.