Animals are family.
That is a firm belief for many.
So for family… you make adjustments.
But certain adjustments get complicated when it’s for fur family.
The struggle is real.
Case in point…
Redditor aitapwaway wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for moving myself and my pregnant wife to her parents instead of rehoming my cat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I have known my wife for 7 years, married for 4, she’s 6 months pregnant with our first child.”
“I have an indoor-only cat who I raised from a kitten to his current age of 16 years.”
“My wife and I are the only people he’s been around regularly.”
“My wife has suddenly developed allergies to the cat.”
“We talked with our doctor and he said sometimes this can happen.”
“My wife wants me to rehome my cat.”
“I don’t want to do this – he’s old, he only knows me and my wife, he only knows our home, he’s not been around other people or animals.”
“I think it will be very stressful for him and at this age it might just kill him.”
“I offered my wife a compromise.”
“We can stay with her parents.”
“They live 10 minutes away and have no issues with us taking the spare bedroom until the baby is born.”
“And then if the allergies persist for her or the baby I can look into (very carefully) finding my cat a permanent new home.”
“I’d check in on my cat every day.”
“My wife called me a huge a**hole for prioritizing my cat over her and the baby’s health.”
“I just don’t want to traumatize my cat over something that might be temporary.”
“AITA?
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“Oooohhhhh tough call……”
“New girl vs cat? Cat wins.”
“Fiancé wanting to move in vs cat? Cat wins.”
“Wife who has lived happily with cat and is now pregnant with your kid and has become allergic?………. No one wins…….”
“You deciding that the cat gets to stay and everyone else leaves? Weird.” ~ ThinkCow83
“I think it’s a weird solution, but I also think OP is trying to engineer a temporary solution to a possible temporary problem.”
“Basically putting a bandaid on the wound instead of cutting the leg off.”
“OP has my respect for being creative.”
“If his wife is only temporarily allergic, and he rehomes his beloved cat, it could cause some resentment, as it would if he kept it despite a permanent allergy.”
“In this case, I think treading lightly is a very good compromise.”
“I am just sorry that OP’s wife might be a little hormonal and unable to see that he’s trying to do right by everyone with the information he currently has on hand.” ~ elvaholt
“First of all OP, NAH, this is a no win awful scenario.”
“OP, did your wife see an allergist?”
“Are there any medications she can safely take while pregnant? Or allergy shots?”
“Also, I get OP wanting to keep the cat in the cat’s home, and seriously stress can kill an old or sick animal, it’s awful.”
“Since you have some transition time, is there a way you could start bringing the cat to your parents house?”
“Maybe once a day or once every few days this way if your parents were open to the idea of taking your cat, it could be an easier transition and not a dramatic one?”
“But also this way you and your wife aren’t surrendering your home to your cat.”
“While at the same time leaving your cat alone for the majority of the time.”
“Just some other ideas. Best of luck OP.” ~ kfisch2014
“To assume that being kicked out of your own home for a cat wouldn’t be traumatic if your parents weren’t abusive is absolutely absurd.”
“And I like animals more than people.”
“There is nothing worse as a pet owner than having to consider rehoming your pet, even temporarily.”
“But to leave your whole house just so the cat doesn’t need a temporary home when the situation may NOT be temporary is absolutely ridiculous.”
“The sad truth of it is that sometimes, there is no win-win solution.”
“Best to acclimate the cat to a potential new home now when OP has time to visit than after there’s a newborn in the picture when time will be incredibly limited for a long time.” ~ BeTheCheeto
“That’s a low bar.”
“Where will the baby’s nursery be set up? And when?”
“What about all the back and forth his wife will have to do in her third trimester when all her stuff is in one house and she’s living in another?”
“And what about her parents?”
“Do they have space for a while family to live with them?”
“Do they even want to host them?”
“That is a lot of people being inconvenienced for a cat.”
“No matter how much OP loves his cat, we would like to assume that he at least loves his wife of 6 years and unborn child, at least, that much.” ~ princessirulan201987
“Moving house is recognized as one of the top stressors in life for people who AREN’T pregnant.”
“I was forced by circumstances to move when I was six months pregnant, and I hated it.”
“It created extra stress, made me more tired, and sent my anxiety through the roof.”
“OP should be finding the cat a temporary home (with parents, friends, whoever).”
“The cat would be fine if he could see OP regularly.”
“Uprooting a pregnant woman and letting the cat be the sole occupant of the house is ridiculous.” ~ My_genx_life
“I mean OP does have a point.”
“It’s not uncommon to develop temporary allergies in pregnancy that disappear after.”
“During my first pregnancy it was pantiliners, my second it was pork and my dog, my third it was potatoes and my contact solution.”
“I have no issues with any of them now.”
“I’m real glad we didn’t rehome my dog before my allergies went away.”
“He did say that if they persisted after he’d look into rehoming.” ~ REDDIT
“Does he really think that leaving the old cat alone 24/7 will be less stressful than rehoming him to friends.”
“She is used to the people, she doesn’t care so much about the house!”
“Or is she blind?!”
“I don’t understand his logic.”
“The cat only knows us, so we go away and leave the cat alone in his last days.”
“Searching his family day in day out isn’t stressful…”
“If he let him stay with friend he has at least people around him that care for him, give him cuddle and – in this age – can react if he needs help!”
“YTA.” ~ EvilFinch
“I am a cat lover and I have to say YTA.”
“Look, I know it’s hard to figure out arrangements for an elderly cat.”
“I had to put my 16 year old tabby down last year and he was very picky in his old age.”
“But you are about to become a father and that means making sacrifices.”
“Would your in-laws be willing to take the cat?”
“You could do all the work and he would be close to home.”
“The comfort of your wife is your number one priority.” ~ Special-Attitude-242
“YTA: you ARE choosing your cat over your pregnant wife and child.”
“Causing her undo stress.”
“What is wrong with you? She is ALLERGIC.”
“It’s not like she’s asking you to re-home just for s**ts and giggles my dude.”
“Allergies get worse over time.”
“I understand not wanting to re-home your pet, but you need to get your priorities in order before this baby is here.” ~ big_d**kslap
“It’s probably a temporary allergy due to the pregnancy.”
“I know when I was pregnant with my 1st I became allergic to grass of all things.”
“Couldn’t be outside when people were mowing, had to avoid touching it to avoid rashes.”
“It went away shortly after giving birth.”
“Pregnancy is weird.”
“Getting rid of the cat is a permanent solution to a more than likely temporary problem.”
“Should they move themselves out?”
“No I don’t think so, I think the cat should go to a temp home for the next 3 months or so instead.”
“Cats are resilient.” ~ LdyAce
“YTA for wanting your wife to sleep in a guest room at her parents for the 3 most uncomfortable months of pregnancy.”
“And possibly longer with a newborn, just so your cat doesn’t have to be stressed.”
“It is an unfortunate situation.”
“But your wife has to come first.”
“Can you block off a room or two for your cat’s use that only you go in?”
“Can your cat stay with friends or your in-laws?”
“Can you try vacuuming 2 times a day and getting a hepa filter to see if her allergies are mitigated?” ~ RealTalkFastWalk
“YTA are you seriously asking your pregnant wife to leave her home so your cat can be there alone.”
“That’s too screwed up to respond to.” ~ fightingnflder