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Guy Called Out For Playing Too Well In ‘Guys Vs. Girls’ Soccer Game With Girlfriend And Her Friends

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In gendering sports, you run the risk of creating a false dichotomy about the skill level of certain players.

And when you then pit the genders together, you create an even more intense narrative: one where all the pressure falls on the women to overcome it.

Redditor Ex_green found himself on the men’s side of a men vs. women sport pick-up game where he outmatched the other team.  In response, the team wasn’t too happy, saying he was doing too well.

This team contained his girlfriend and her friends.

Unsure if he’d done something wrong, he went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA”  for objective feedback from strangers:

“AITA for winning a football game against my gf and her friends?”

Our original poster, or OP, was challenged to this game by his girlfriend.

“Recently my girlfriend invited me to a football (soccer) to play with her friends. Now, my gf and her friends have all played football their whole life and all of them are in a semi-pro team or a college team.”

“They have this weekly pick-up game that they have been doing for a while where they invite their boyfriends and some other guy friends to play each other.”

“Apparently they always go ‘guys vs girls’ in the games, and my gf told me that the girls would always win.”

“I was happy to go because I haven’t really played football in a long while and missed it since coming to the US.”

“I used to play in an academy club in Europe and was actually pretty good, but left the club and focused more on my studies.”

On the day of the game OP’s girlfriend and her friends started to realize they were not evenly matched.

“Day of the pick-up game I go and meet all her friends. I got along great with everybody, especially the guys who all seemed like good dudes.”

“I asked about why they always lost in a joking manner and they replied that most of them started playing football just recently. But they loved to play even if they lost and were just there to have fun.”

“When the match started I notice I’m probably the best player on the pitch. All my old instincts come back and it’s just like old times for me.”

“I score 2 goals fairly easily and decided to tone it down a bit and mostly give assists to the other guys instead and organize the defense.”

“I’m having a great time and the guys are having fun too but the girls were understandably frustrated. At the end of the match they started getting real physical and put in harder tackles. We won the match 7-1.”

And then OP’s girlfriend was not super happy.

“On the way home however my girlfriend is not very talkative and said she didn’t know I was that good.”

“I said I didn’t know I could still play either, it was the first time I played in almost 2 years. After I had showered my gf came back more irritated. She said everyone is blaming her for bringing me and making the girls lose.”

“She said I was showboating and just looking down on the girls for being better than them. And that all the girls thought I was really arrogant on the pitch.”

“She says I came in and destroyed the dynamic they had there. I became upset since I had a great time and thought it was a good game.”

“I said it was unfair from the beginning to have a bunch of college players play against mostly beginners. But she said that it’s more unfair for me to come in and just win everything for the guys.”

“Now she is saying she won’t invite me anymore because the other girls don’t want me there and it would be too uneven. I suggested mixing teams but she said they always play guys vs girls.”

“So apparently I was in the wrong for playing football to the best of my abilities.”

“TL;DR: GF and her friends lost a football match to me and some other guy friends. Now they think I was downplaying my skills and showboating on purpose.”

“AITA for this?”

Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Redditors think the girls are showing bad sportsmanship.

“Lol hilarious. So the girls invite the boys so that THEY can showboat and always win.”

“Now girls get annoyed because someone better than them turned up and gave them a proper game and beat them.”

“Not to mention that you toned it down when you realised you were much better.”

“As a girl who has played sport to a competitive level, from what you describe, they have a strange way of thinking about things.”

“Most of the girls I played football with would have been fine with playing the match you described and losing to a more challenging team. Definitely NTA.”-bluep3001

“Your GF is a sore loser. Also it sounds like they just want to show off and stroke their egos.. NTA”

“I’d show your GF this post and the replies just so she can see how poor her sportsmanship really is. It’s not your fault that you play soccer better than them.”-TimeBomb666

“Agreed with all this and I’d also like to say that there was probably some cultural blindness going on here.”

“Us europeans love football, most of us played growing up even if we dont play now. So OP may rate themselves only as ‘alright/pretty good’ by euros standards.”

“But compared to Americans where the sport isn’t literally THE sport everyone plays? Probably a lot damn better.”

“They probably feel OP misled them about how good he was, but to be honest he probably was just unaware of what the skill gap was going to he. NTA”-NewBromance

“NTA, your girlfriend and her friend only invite the boyfriends in order to boast their skills (which aren’t impressive according to your story) and got mad when they realized they aren’t that good.”

“They have zero sportsmanship and probably won’t succeed in soccer.”-sapir1011

The people all agreed that pick-up games always go to the best and being a sore sport about it won’t do anything.

“NTA. It’s ironic that your girlfriend is accusing you of showboating when she and her friends are the ones showboating by playing against rookies instead of veterans.”

“I have no idea what’s going through the minds of your girlfriend and her pals, but I will not go so far as to say they’ve got a grudge or something.”-CorrosiveAlkonost

“NTA Oh lordy, the SALT! She’s just mad that you made her all-star girl power team look bad by, essentially, soloing them.”

“She and her team are clearly not that good at soccer and have the mental fortitude of a wet paper bag if, instead of taking this as motivation to get better or ask for advice, they’d rather kick you out and go back to dunking on beginners.”

“Poor sports, very poor sports, the lot of them.”-TheDukeOf_Donuts

“NTA So they just like like winning against guys who have far less experience than they do and are clearly worse payers but can’t handle it when they have to pay against someone better than they are and lose.”

“Honestly, their attitude is pathetic. Your gf and her friends are the AHs here.”-ghostofkilgore

“NTA. This is a learning point for you when it comes to your girlfriend. Anyhoo you didn’t exactly play to the ‘best of your abilities’ as you admittedly toned your game down a good bit.”

“I’d also say your GF and her pals suck big time if they’ve been at this their whole lives and lost to a bunch of rookies led by an ex semi pro.”-RevolutionaryTale245

And that OP was better off seeking fun somewhere besides with his girlfriend and her friends.

“NTA, although I understand the frustration since they just had a massive reality check. They probably thought they were pretty good since they would win against a bunch of guys who are novices.”

“You showed them that there is a whole other level to soccer they didn’t even know about.”

“I also don’t think the girls are bad players like some people here are saying. It’s just that OP must have been insanely good.”

“Playing in an academy team in Europe means you are very talented. College teams in USA have nothing on these elite academy teams, they are just on a whole other level.”-TheZenMann

“NTA at all. If this girl is someone you want to stick with I’d suggest flipping the script a bit vs making this a battle.”

“Tell her you had a lot of fun with the guys, they seem like great people. If you realized you still enjoy the game and want to play, tell her you get they have a thing and you’ll look for another league to join.”

“If you are feeling petty you could tell her you’re looking for one more suited to your talents but that is none of my business.”

“If this is just one example of GF and her friends pettiness, you may want to find someone else in a different circle of friends that will celebrate successes rather than be critical.”-mikeyj198

“NTA This is just lol. The girls, who played at a relatively high level, love inviting their newbie American bfs so they can win every week.”

“You get invited, as someone who actually played at a high level in the men’s game, play at a reasonable intensity knowing you’re easily the best player.”

“They lose in the same fashion they always win in and bitch and cry. You suggested mixed teams which they also bitched about.”

“They clearly like winning and can’t handle losing as it seems like a weird point of pride where they beat the men.”

“Also you should’ve known you’d be the best player on the field you played boys academy in Europe. If you wanna keep playing it might be best to find a different group of people.”-DenverTrowaway

“NTA. And your gf and her teammates are being immature and dumb, caring about winning pick up games is really childish and they won’t get better by beating up on easy competition.”

“You get better by playing tough competition. It’s their loss if they don’t invite you back.”-oregondude79

OP played a game and won, fair and square.  But they are entitled to not like it, too.

It just may mean OP and his girlfriend are a mismatch.

Here is hoping they resolve this without much heartache.

Written by Mike Walsh

Mike is a writer, dancer, actor, and singer who recently graduated with his MFA from Columbia University. Mike's daily ambitions are to meet new dogs and make new puns on a daily basis. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @mikerowavables.