Buying and selling a home is best left to the professionals.
There are many pitfalls in a do-it-yourself situation.
But even with real estate agents involved, some people still cause problems.
A home seller dealing with problematic buyers turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Just_A_RN asked:
"AITA for not leaving my planters or landscaping my lawn when I move?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"So I'm moving soon. I bought a house, and I can't wait!"
"Recently, the people who bought my current house stopped over at my house, which I always thought was a no-no unless you are selling to people who you actually know. Which is not the case here."
"I was always under the impression you are not supposed to have any contact between the parties because if there is anything that needs to be discussed, it goes through the agents. If you are selling to someone you know, then, of course, it's different."
"But this is not the case. So, to me, they have done a couple of things wrong."
"The reason for their visit was because they want me to leave my lawn decorations including my planters, and they also want me to landscape the lawn for them. They said they saw pictures of the lawn last year, which was one of the selling points."
"We have a yearly lawn contest, and I won last year. The buyers saw the pictures in the park office."
"And they want me to do this at no extra cost to them."
"I plan on doing a mowing and weed wacking. A general lawn cleanup. I assured the buyers that the house was going to look nice and presentable."
"I told them no, that the planters were very expensive, and the cost to buy the plants and do the landscaping work was more than I wanted to take on when I have a new lawn that I need to take care of."
"Everything that is in the ground is staying. I asked why they thought I would leave the planters when they already signed the contract."
"They said they were thinking more and more about it since they did the walk-through and loved the color and style. I told them the contracts are final, and nothing is changing."
"But if they wanted, I would leave the information about where I bought them. I think they are just wanting something for nothing."
"They said they may need to back out of the sale if that's the case."
"Here's the thing. I know a few things about real estate. My mother and her husband work in real estate, and so I have picked up on a few things."
"When all this started, I made it clear that all I was leaving was the stove, microwave (over the range), dishwasher, washer, and dryer, and swapping out the refrigerators. The refrigerator at the new house will be left at my current house and my current refrigerator goes to the new house."
"The planters go with me. They were difficult purchases because of how expensive they were."
"I have always struggled with spending money, and those were the first things I purchased, and I didn't have any buyer's remorse. I already had one broken by the neighborhood kids, and it almost went to court to get the parents to replace it."
"So, yeah. They go with no matter what."
"They agreed to all this. Everything else goes with me. They signed and accepted the agreement."
"Both houses are under contract, and if they were to try and pull out of the sale, then I can exercise a no-cancellation clause. I could either sue them or force the sale of the house on them."
"I told them this as well. I also told them it's a small lawn, and between the two of them, it wouldn't take long to do, and they can add their own touches."
"They called me an a**hole."
"And one of my neighbors told me I should just do it to leave the house on a good note. I think the only reason the neighbor is on their side is because he doesn't want me to move.
"But I did tell him to help them since he really does nice work. His lawn looks better than mine."
"I told them I'm already leaving on a good note because I'm scrubbing all the rugs, washing the windows, and painting and fixing holes aside from just the general deep cleaning."
"I contacted my agent and he has assured me that I'm in the right. He contacted the agent for the buyers and explained the situation. He told the other agent that if they tried to cancel the sale, they would be fined a heavy cancellation fee."
"The thing is that neither agent is making much money. We are so far into the sale that canceling at this point would cost them more than anything."
"I'm selling a double-wide modular that I rehabbed. It's not going for a lot. But it's going for enough that it will at least help with moving expenses and setting up my new house."
"Anyway my agent told their agent that they will have no further communication with me and that it all goes between the two agents."
"We are two weeks away from closing, so long past any point of being able to cancel without any issues."
"I have handed it all over to my agent to deal with. He told me that there is nothing to worry about."
"So AITA for not leaving my planters and landscaping when I move?"
The OP summed up their situation.
"I'm moving soon, and the buyers of my current house have asked me to leave my planters and landscape the house for the season. I have told them no because I won't have the time and there is no extra financial incentive. On top of that, the planters were extremely expensive, and I don't want to give them up.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was
"NTA. I would also have contacted my listing agent and talked to them about this. That buyer should NOT be coming around talking to you about anything outside the contract." ~ carl63_99
"This is absolutely not OK. And unless the planters were included in the contract amongst the chattels—anything not affixed to the property—after negotiating it, they go. And fancy having the cheek to ask someone to landscape before leaving!" ~ drowningindarkness-
"Chattels are anything that isn't 'affixed' to the property. Furniture. Rugs. Lamps."
"Fixtures are things that are fixed to the property like wall-mounted towel racks, light covers, carpets etc..."
"Installed curtain rods are fixtures because they're attached to the wall. Curtains are chattels."
"Most contracts only include chattels if they're written into the contract."
"And it has to be specified, unless the property is being left with EVERYTHING like a home being sold after the owner's death with no heirs. The contract may include something like 'the property and all related extant chattels at time of final inspection'." ~ TrashPandaLJTAR
"NTA. If the sales contract did not say that planters were being left, there is NO obligation to do so. Landscaping the lawn is the new owner's responsibility (again unless there is a provision saying otherwise, which would be weird, but very noticeable)."
"They are demanding what they want, NOT what they are entitled to. Tell the neighbor he can help them and be on great terms with his new neighbors, if you even speak to them again." ~ catskilkid
"The buyers are ridiculous. Planters are not part of a home sale, and their request about the lawn is delusional."
"You're right, they cannot back out now without consequences. NTA, this isn't your problem." ~ ImpossibleReason2204
"NTA. It's literally part of the contract as to what stays and what goes. If they wanted the planters, they should have stated that in the contract."
"And that's why you have a contract because it prevents this type of thing."
"I would figure out an estimate on the planters or find similar planters that they can purchase."
"I mean, it's too bad there's not companies or people they could hire to do the landscaping and lawn care. Like a landscaping company.... Oh wait! I think there are a few out there."
"Tell your neighbor if they want to buy them new planters to build good will, they're welcome to, but wanting to give away your stuff to their new neighbors is not something you're going to do."
"They're trying to threaten you and I really doubt they're going to back out on a contract because of this. It's going to cost them and they still have to find another house to buy—probably without a real estate agent."
"If they do, my guess is they really want out of the contract for some other reason and they're using this as an excuse." ~ CanIStopAdultingNow
The OP provided an update:
"I just got off the phone with my real estate agent and he is saying that it's under control. They will have to follow though with the sale."
"This is what they don't understand. The landscaping is done. What they don't seem to realize is that when they did the walk-through and stopped over, it was April, and nothing had bloomed yet."
"I have this beautiful lilac bush on my front lawn. It's one of my favorite things, and I have to leave it behind."
"The only thing that hasn't been done is the planters, and initial yard clean up. I told them when I leave, they will have a cleaned-up lawn. It will be mowed, weeded, and weed wacked."
"That's all I'm doing."
"All the plants, bushes, and everything not planter-related are done. They just haven't bloomed yet."
"They started all this drama over the planters they were never going to get."
Alls well that ends well. Hopefully, these new home buyers learned something about contracts and negotiations.















Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.