"Sex work is work" is a saying that is becoming increasingly common to see and hear in the digital age when people are finding safe ways to make money online, such as OnlyFans.
But such endeavors require a camera of some kind and a place to take photos or film content.
So what happens when an online sex worker is a houseguest?
A Redditor with a houseguest who wanted to use their home as a studio during the day turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback. Similar to AITA, this subReddit allows a broader range of topics and asking for advice. It doesn't include official voting acronyms or a final judgment.
Butterbean6057 asked:
"AITAH for telling my best friend she can't do her adult content at my house?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My best friend was recently kicked out of where she was living and asked if she could stay with me in this emergency situation as she had nowhere else to go right now."
"I instantly said yes. We moved all her furniture and bigger things into a storage unit, and she brought a few suitcases to my place."
"I'll be honest, at the time, I really wasn't thinking about her work situation. I knew her job was OnlyFans; that's what she did for a living; that's how she made her money, and I've never judged her for it."
"However, the following day, after the evening she moved in, I took my daughter to school and came home to do my own work (I work from home). She wandered into my kitchen at like noon and told me she had some videos she needed to make."
"I instantly knew what she meant by that, and I said, 'Well... I mean... Are you going to be quiet during these videos?' She laughed and said, 'No, but you're my best friend so I don't mind if you hear me'."
"To which I responded with, 'I mind if I hear you. I'm not gonna lie; I don't feel comfortable with you making those videos in my house. You can take your pics and stuff though, granted you don't do it while my daughter is home'."
"She got a little snippy and upset with me and told me that making custom request videos was how she made the majority of her money, and she had a bunch of requests that she needed to do."
"I told her again that I didn't feel comfortable with that specifically. She told me to wear headphones."
"I said, 'I DO wear headphones because I have pretty much constant work calls through my day, and I can't have you moaning and screaming in the background'."
"I ended up saying, 'If you can be QUIET, then you can film while I'm here working, and again, as long as you're not doing it when my daughter is home'."
"She told me she won't be able to be quiet because that's not what they (her clients) want. So I told her, 'I'm sorry, girl, no. I can't have that.'"
"She's now a little pissed off at me because I'm basically stopping her from making decent coin while she'll be staying with me until she finds a new place and she has nowhere else to go to do it."
"I feel bad, but I think my feelings and reasons are justified."
"AITAH?"
The OP later added:
"Just to answer the majority who have mentioned she got a hotel room, she claims a hotel would kick her out and that she really didn't think I would care about her doing it here as long as she didn't do it when my child is here."
"I genuinely thought because she does make decent money from it and had money in the bank, she just wouldn't do it in the short term time that she'll be here at my place. She is actively looking for a new place to rent. She's not going to be here long term."
"It was just an emergency situation, and she knew I had a spare room in my house she could stay in, so I said yes because she's a very good, close friend of mine."
"I'd like to point out that outside of her OnlyFans content, she dresses modestly and doesn't act like a whore'. So I don't mind her being around my child."
"She's known my daughter since I had her 7 years ago. My daughter is not exposed to anything inappropriate around her. Just wanted to mention that."
"Another point to mention, this isn't a case of her bringing people here to f*ck them!"
"She's just making videos for them, but those videos include a variety of things where she will obviously not be quiet. And I just don't wanna have to hear it, to be honest, especially not while I'm on work calls!"
"Also, the reason she was kicked out of her last place was actually nothing to do with her sex work, but it's also not relevant to my post, so I won't be discussing it here."
Some Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was justified in their response (NTA).
"NTA, she needed help, and you are helping her. She's disrespecting your house rules. If she makes so much 'coin' doing it, she can easily get a hotel room." ~ bitty20
"Exactly! Helping her out doesn't mean she gets to ignore boundaries. If she's making good money, she should be able to figure out a solution that doesn't involve disrupting your home life." ~ MusicianEmpty2012
"Bingo. OP NTA! OP, it's your home. Not your friend's."
"In my opinion, if she can't abide by your rules, especially with the fact you have a daughter that you have rules, boundaries, and a standard to teach and hold up for her, she can hit the road with all of her belongings."
"Call her an UBER to the nearest hotel/motel and let her make her money there. Maybe she can fund another friendship to kill/destroy." ~ WiseConfidence8818
"She needs to check into a cheap motel and do her content. She can afford it." ~ Zestyclose_General87
"Ummmmmm, she is being snippy with YOU, in YOUR house, about rules around YOU & YOUR CHILD? Sorry, uh, NO!"
"She didn't figure her sh*t out before she assumed you wouldn't mind, again, in YOUR house. Her life choices are not your problem."
"As someone else commented, Airbnb. If that doesn't work, then some motel probably won't mind her screaming while she works."
"I understand that she is your friend, but it looks like you value the friendship more than she does. Otherwise, she wouldn't put you in this situation."
"She needs to go ASAP. Like tomorrow. She's a big girl. She'll figure it out. The ONLY person you owe a damn thing to is your child." ~ Boring-Concept-2058
"She is being snippy because she's not getting her way and trying to manipulate you into letting her do her 'thang' anyway."
"You care because this is in your home/place of work and how you make a living. And, most importantly, where you are raising a child.
"This woman's sense of entitlement while being in your home is astounding!" ~ Specialkendra
"That's the awesome thing about it being your house, you don't need to justify your reasons because it's your house. I don't let people chew gum in my house, if they don't like it they can GTFO, no explanations involved." ~ jackandsally060609
"You take her in, help her out in a dire situation. But she can't show your house and you basic respect? Selfish."
"You know what I've learned through experience, what with always being the non-judgemental kind? Sometimes people are judged for a reason—because they lack values and morals and show aberrant behavior."
"It shouldn't surprise you she doesn't understand your values or boundaries and that she does not care how that makes you feel even after you expressed it."
"I'm sorry she is being such a poor friend to you. She sounds wholly self-absorbed and like she doesn't care about you as you do her."
"She can't even show you basic respect and acts like a petulant child when she can't get her way."
"I'm not surprised, though. You shouldn't be either. Don't give people credit until they earn it." ~ InnerSight3
"You offered her a place to sleep, not an office. It's weird she would even expect that it would be okay. People are out of touch these days." ~ MowEmSayin_
"You care because during the day, your home is your office, and it would be inappropriate to have sexy-type noises in the background of your work calls or even just distracting you—no way should you be 'locked into' wearing headphones 100% of the time during the day."
"This is one for 'Choosing Beggars.'"
"She can find someone who works in an office and borrow their place during the day to shake her money maker." ~ Constant_Host_3212
The OP provided an update:
"She finally listened and booked a hotel room for the night. Just so she can go and get these requests that she has built up DONE."
"She's let her subscribers and clients know that she's not going to be taking requests until she's settled in a new place."
"She's also just told me that she thinks she found a new place to rent. And she's now starting the process of that."
"Problem solved."
Well, it sounds like it's happy endings for everyone.
Woman Irate After 'Misogynistic' Date 'Insults' Her In Front Of Waiter For Interrupting Him
While dating is supposed to be fun and the best way to find new love, some people are just not meant to date each other.
Fortunately, people can get out of dating someone, and no reason is too small or petty, members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit pointed out.
Redditor Mental_Driver_6134 had been dating a guy on and off for over a year, and while things were okay, there hadn't been a particular reason to make the relationship more serious.
When they went on a date, and the guy publicly insulted her for interrupting him and speaking out of turn, the Original Poster (OP) was not certain it was worth going on another date with him or continuing to string this situationship along.
She asked the sub:
At a restaurant, the OP's date wasn't being clear while speaking with the waiter.
"I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off. We discussed the order and were in a good mood overall."
"When the waiter came to take the order, he started explaining him something about his preference for a particular dish. Basically, he didn't want too much garlic in chili burnt garlic noodles."
"Everything was going fine, but I saw that he was taking too much time explaining it and wasn't really getting to the main point, which was less garlic."
"I chimed in and casually said, 'We just want less garlic.'"
"But I couldn't even complete the sentence before he said to me in front of the waiter, 'If you're gonna cut me off like this, I'm not giving any orders, okay?!' in the rudest way possible."
The moment ruined the date for the OP.
"I just went quiet after that. He quickly realized that he made a mistake and tried to cover up by saying that, 'Okay , I won't shout at you next time onwards.'"
"I was really p**sed off but didn't react much to avoid creating a scene."
"On our way back home, he started with his explanation. He said that I tried to make him feel small by cutting him off and lacked basic etiquette and that I should have at least said, 'Can I give my opinion here?- before cutting him off."
"It kept getting worse as he said that since he was the older one and 'The Man,' I should not have interrupted him and let him give the order."
"The whole tone was so misogynistic."
"He even mocked me for not knowing how to use chopsticks properly, which I didn't mind as basic banter, and I told him that there are forks and spoons kept here; it's not necessary to use the chopsticks (he ended up dropping his dumpling while explaining to me how to use chopsticks)."
"When the noodles came, he said that we could use forks then, and I was like, 'No, why not use chopsticks here, as well? You should watch more anime, maybe,' and he then went on to brag about having been to many five-star restaurants, which implied that he knew more than me and that I lacked any 'real experience.'"
The OP was over it by the end of the conversation.
"I was too exhausted from this; it seemed so nonsensical that I left later and told him to maintain a distance."
"Later he was saying that I'm stuck on such a small thing and that he won't shout again, but it was my mistake that I tried to cut him off (which wasn't my intention at all)."
"Also, sidenote: He's like four and a half years older than me. I met him last September and on and off many times with a few months of minimal contact. These offs end with him acting as if nothing happened."
"This incident was the calmest he's behaved if compared to past situations, so you can guess what the worst may have looked like."
"I only gave him a chance cause he was trying to control his anger issues. But I think you can't expect a 29-year-old to fix the misogyny."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she was right to be upset.
"He was s**tty, but it was her fault; I just love that. NOR."
"If she hadn’t interrupted his highness, none of this would have happened. Why can’t she just admit it?"
"I’m so glad I’m long out of the dating pool. There is no bar anymore; it’s what can I get from you while I treat you like s**t. Man, the good old days of dating are long over." - Shadow4summer
"NOR. The 'I'm the man' line revealed everything OP needs to know about him. He couldn't handle a simple, harmless interruption, so he tried to humiliate her in public to regain control. Taking his own dumpling dive while trying to act superior is peak karma, honestly." - virelaczi
"NOR! If a 'small' man tries to put you down in public on a date, run the eff away! It doesn’t matter if it’s two dates, two months, or two YEARS!" - Delicious_Winner_819
"Not overreacting, this man is clearly insecure and controlling. Not to mention a misogynist. Instead of being on and off, just be off. It's better to be single than to be with someone who tries to make you feel less than." - curiouscuriel
"'I know better than you.'"
"Should tell you ALL you need to know about this 'man'. Go and find somebody who will treat you as their person... and not an object. That is what is not sitting right with you."
"NOR. And bloody run!!! I wouldn't even give him the time of day after an experience like that." - pootling_1976
"My ex would constantly say, 'You're interrupting me.' I was not. He was a psycho."
"This is how it went, for example:"
"Him: I am ordering chicken and snow peas and white rice [long pause]."
"I start to say ANYTHING (the place is on effing fire!), and he would berate me, 'You interrupted me, you ALWAYS do that, I can never speak, blah, blah blah.'"
"I say, 'Lucifer (what I call him behind his back), you took a long pause. I waited, and I thought you were done.'"
"Then THAT becomes a pile of s**t convo, more berating... He was so manipulative and verbally abusive; I cannot even scratch the surface here."
"So, no. That date is a Lucifer, and you should never even speak to him again." - Belmontisnowhideous
Others pointed out that the OP didn't have to keep dating him if this is how she felt about him.
"Great news! You do not need to spend any more time with this guy." - Blue-flash
"If you marry this guy, this behavior will only get worse. He doesn’t respect women, and he probably never will. I'd stop dating him now before you waste more time." - Additional-Start9455
"NOR. Don’t waste another minute of your life on an angry man. He’ll get worse, not better. Just find a guy who doesn’t need fixing." - Broad_Pomegranate141
"I mean, him being an insufferable smug jerk is not a small thing."
"'I went on a dinner date with this guy who I've been with for over a year now, on and off.' But this strikes me as an elephant in the room."
"It isn't often that good, healthy relationships are on and off again. And given how profoundly rude he was, how immediately he doubled down, how condescending, etc., I can't help but think this isn't the first time he's been gross as a partner."
"NOR, but really ask yourself what you're doing here. This can't be the life you hoped for, and you know he isn't going to change as well." - Traeyze
"NOR. There's no way to live with this kind of man, honestly, and OP should definitely leave this guy."
"A year of on and off with kind of behavior is basically a preview of the next ten." - NoEar4226
"NOR. I've broken up with guys like that by telling them they were right all along. I'm just not smart enough for him. He deserves someone on his own level..."
"Hopefully he picks up the hint and does some self-reflection for his future dates (with other women)."
"For what it's worth, I have two post-graduate degrees." - PomeloPepper
"When someone treats you like s**t, you do NOT have to stay with them, no matter how long you've been together."
"Unfortunately, my therapist had to explain this to me a short time after I started seeing her because my parents never gave me any autonomy to make my own decisions. I didn’t know that I could just leave places that I didn’t feel safe in because it wasn’t an option for me until then."
"Some people do need to be given permission to do what’s best for them because of the way they were treated by their parents."
"Hopefully she does leave him because he sucks, and with the way he treats her, things will likely get worse for her." - Accomplished_Dig284
We've all heard the advice to not cry over spilled milk, but clearly, this date must fuss over garlicky noodles.
To the subReddit, it wasn't worth continuing to date a man who clearly had anger and control issues, especially given everything going on in society right now.
The OP would be better off staying single for a while or dating someone new, preferably someone who respects their differences about noodles and chopsticks.