"Sex work is work" is a saying that is becoming increasingly common to see and hear in the digital age when people are finding safe ways to make money online, such as OnlyFans.
But such endeavors require a camera of some kind and a place to take photos or film content.
So what happens when an online sex worker is a houseguest?
A Redditor with a houseguest who wanted to use their home as a studio during the day turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback. Similar to AITA, this subReddit allows a broader range of topics and asking for advice. It doesn't include official voting acronyms or a final judgment.
Butterbean6057 asked:
"AITAH for telling my best friend she can't do her adult content at my house?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My best friend was recently kicked out of where she was living and asked if she could stay with me in this emergency situation as she had nowhere else to go right now."
"I instantly said yes. We moved all her furniture and bigger things into a storage unit, and she brought a few suitcases to my place."
"I'll be honest, at the time, I really wasn't thinking about her work situation. I knew her job was OnlyFans; that's what she did for a living; that's how she made her money, and I've never judged her for it."
"However, the following day, after the evening she moved in, I took my daughter to school and came home to do my own work (I work from home). She wandered into my kitchen at like noon and told me she had some videos she needed to make."
"I instantly knew what she meant by that, and I said, 'Well... I mean... Are you going to be quiet during these videos?' She laughed and said, 'No, but you're my best friend so I don't mind if you hear me'."
"To which I responded with, 'I mind if I hear you. I'm not gonna lie; I don't feel comfortable with you making those videos in my house. You can take your pics and stuff though, granted you don't do it while my daughter is home'."
"She got a little snippy and upset with me and told me that making custom request videos was how she made the majority of her money, and she had a bunch of requests that she needed to do."
"I told her again that I didn't feel comfortable with that specifically. She told me to wear headphones."
"I said, 'I DO wear headphones because I have pretty much constant work calls through my day, and I can't have you moaning and screaming in the background'."
"I ended up saying, 'If you can be QUIET, then you can film while I'm here working, and again, as long as you're not doing it when my daughter is home'."
"She told me she won't be able to be quiet because that's not what they (her clients) want. So I told her, 'I'm sorry, girl, no. I can't have that.'"
"She's now a little pissed off at me because I'm basically stopping her from making decent coin while she'll be staying with me until she finds a new place and she has nowhere else to go to do it."
"I feel bad, but I think my feelings and reasons are justified."
"AITAH?"
The OP later added:
"Just to answer the majority who have mentioned she got a hotel room, she claims a hotel would kick her out and that she really didn't think I would care about her doing it here as long as she didn't do it when my child is here."
"I genuinely thought because she does make decent money from it and had money in the bank, she just wouldn't do it in the short term time that she'll be here at my place. She is actively looking for a new place to rent. She's not going to be here long term."
"It was just an emergency situation, and she knew I had a spare room in my house she could stay in, so I said yes because she's a very good, close friend of mine."
"I'd like to point out that outside of her OnlyFans content, she dresses modestly and doesn't act like a whore'. So I don't mind her being around my child."
"She's known my daughter since I had her 7 years ago. My daughter is not exposed to anything inappropriate around her. Just wanted to mention that."
"Another point to mention, this isn't a case of her bringing people here to f*ck them!"
"She's just making videos for them, but those videos include a variety of things where she will obviously not be quiet. And I just don't wanna have to hear it, to be honest, especially not while I'm on work calls!"
"Also, the reason she was kicked out of her last place was actually nothing to do with her sex work, but it's also not relevant to my post, so I won't be discussing it here."
Some Redditors weighed in using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was justified in their response (NTA).
"NTA, she needed help, and you are helping her. She's disrespecting your house rules. If she makes so much 'coin' doing it, she can easily get a hotel room." ~ bitty20
"Exactly! Helping her out doesn't mean she gets to ignore boundaries. If she's making good money, she should be able to figure out a solution that doesn't involve disrupting your home life." ~ MusicianEmpty2012
"Bingo. OP NTA! OP, it's your home. Not your friend's."
"In my opinion, if she can't abide by your rules, especially with the fact you have a daughter that you have rules, boundaries, and a standard to teach and hold up for her, she can hit the road with all of her belongings."
"Call her an UBER to the nearest hotel/motel and let her make her money there. Maybe she can fund another friendship to kill/destroy." ~ WiseConfidence8818
"She needs to check into a cheap motel and do her content. She can afford it." ~ Zestyclose_General87
"Ummmmmm, she is being snippy with YOU, in YOUR house, about rules around YOU & YOUR CHILD? Sorry, uh, NO!"
"She didn't figure her sh*t out before she assumed you wouldn't mind, again, in YOUR house. Her life choices are not your problem."
"As someone else commented, Airbnb. If that doesn't work, then some motel probably won't mind her screaming while she works."
"I understand that she is your friend, but it looks like you value the friendship more than she does. Otherwise, she wouldn't put you in this situation."
"She needs to go ASAP. Like tomorrow. She's a big girl. She'll figure it out. The ONLY person you owe a damn thing to is your child." ~ Boring-Concept-2058
"She is being snippy because she's not getting her way and trying to manipulate you into letting her do her 'thang' anyway."
"You care because this is in your home/place of work and how you make a living. And, most importantly, where you are raising a child.
"This woman's sense of entitlement while being in your home is astounding!" ~ Specialkendra
"That's the awesome thing about it being your house, you don't need to justify your reasons because it's your house. I don't let people chew gum in my house, if they don't like it they can GTFO, no explanations involved." ~ jackandsally060609
"You take her in, help her out in a dire situation. But she can't show your house and you basic respect? Selfish."
"You know what I've learned through experience, what with always being the non-judgemental kind? Sometimes people are judged for a reason—because they lack values and morals and show aberrant behavior."
"It shouldn't surprise you she doesn't understand your values or boundaries and that she does not care how that makes you feel even after you expressed it."
"I'm sorry she is being such a poor friend to you. She sounds wholly self-absorbed and like she doesn't care about you as you do her."
"She can't even show you basic respect and acts like a petulant child when she can't get her way."
"I'm not surprised, though. You shouldn't be either. Don't give people credit until they earn it." ~ InnerSight3
"You offered her a place to sleep, not an office. It's weird she would even expect that it would be okay. People are out of touch these days." ~ MowEmSayin_
"You care because during the day, your home is your office, and it would be inappropriate to have sexy-type noises in the background of your work calls or even just distracting you—no way should you be 'locked into' wearing headphones 100% of the time during the day."
"This is one for 'Choosing Beggars.'"
"She can find someone who works in an office and borrow their place during the day to shake her money maker." ~ Constant_Host_3212
The OP provided an update:
"She finally listened and booked a hotel room for the night. Just so she can go and get these requests that she has built up DONE."
"She's let her subscribers and clients know that she's not going to be taking requests until she's settled in a new place."
"She's also just told me that she thinks she found a new place to rent. And she's now starting the process of that."
"Problem solved."
Well, it sounds like it's happy endings for everyone.
Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.