No one likes having everything they do criticized. Especially when they're doing someone a favor.
A wife turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subReddit for feedback after her husband weaponized AI against her.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending romantic relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
Few-Claim-584 asked:
"AITAH for getting mad at my husband when he backseats me by using ChatGPT?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"I (30, female) am married to my husband (33, male) for about a year. I love him so much, but I hate it when he backseats me at everything I do related to the kitchen."
"Today when he asked for apples, I was washing them when he decided to ask ChatGPT if I'm washing it right or wrong. He then went and told me I'm doing it wrong, and this isn't the first time he did this."
"He kept doing this for everything related to kitchen/cooking. I got fed up, stopped cutting the apples, told him to do it himself if I'm so wrong to the all-mighty machine, and left."
"I've been crying for about 20 minutes, and I'm not talking to him for now."
"Am I in the wrong for getting mad about this, or is it justified?"
OP later added:
"Maybe I didn't get my message across well, but it's not that I'm crying over apples. It's the buildup."
"This isn't the first time he did this when it's related to cooking/washing or doing any favors for him in the kitchen. That's why I got super upset and cried."
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP wasn't wrong to be upset (NTA).
"NTA. No one wants to be picked apart while they are doing a simple task. Tell him to stop. That you are not his child who needs to be monitored and corrected. He isn't superior to you or anyone else. Tell him you will not tolerate him being disrespectful going forward." ~ Chemical-Ad6809
"If my husband use AI like this, I would be so out. He's using AI to neg you SECOND HAND. So he can pretend it's not him really saying it." ~ stryker_cast
"For reals, what an absolute loser he is. Dude needs to be single." ~ Rosary_Omen
"The f*cking audacity. He might as well just be following her around with with a video feed to AI and a persistent 'how is she doing it wrong' prompt. This isn't how you treat someone you love." ~ sl0play
"When he does, stop what you're doing, say 'Oh, you can do it then' and walk away. Don't come back to finish it. He will learn." ~ Speedracer__17
"This is the part that needs talked about. The husband is just using ChatGPT to humiliate and mentally abuse the OP for funsies. Guess he has to get his sick kicks somehow." ~ West-Double3646
"And just do it very calmly. That way it doesn’t cause a fight and may very well start teaching him 'oh, if I do this, then she stops, doesn’t get angry, but just stops and I have to do it'. Surely he will learn!!"
"I’d love a 'thank you so much for looking that up so you can take over, that’s so sweet'.. but I guess that could turn passive aggressive. And you really want to stay calm so it keeps yourself calm, and doesn’t escalate anything that really is his problem." ~ OneInternational7867
"Yes, or if you need to finish it (if you're hungry for example) just finish your own portion of whatever he is criticising (dinner, laundry, etc...)."
"Bonus points if you do this calmly with a smile on your face, because no doubt he will start acting shocked that you're 'so angry at such a small thing', you can tell him you're not angry, just leaving it to the expert!" ~ incrediblepepsi
"Why do you have to cut apples for him to eat them? Is he finally transitioning to solid food? If so, you are probably married to a baby. Just a heads up. NTA." ~ catmand00d00
"Your husband’s using a completely unreliable source for stupid sh*t. Let him be a dumba** and stop helping him. Also, maybe ask him why he insists in outsourcing his brain to something that actively destroys our planet, is known to be wrong, etc... Tell him you’re worried about his cognitive decline since he can’t think for himself." ~ EasyLizin
"Yep. Google’s AI results told me recently that there isn’t a certain store within 10 miles of my location, when I was standing right outside the open, operating store." ~ glitterswirl
"Like genAI is flat out wrong extremely often and also will agree with whoever is using it no matter what they say. It's not an authority in any way. Him using it as one makes him pathetic on top of the bullsh*t way he's treating her." ~ myfancyplants
"My grandmother used to say that the first person who criticized a meal was the next meal’s cook. He needs immediate and consistent consequences for his behavior. I would stop doing what I was doing and walk away."
"Or hand it to him and say it is now his job since he knows how to do it best. And I would stop cooking for him until he knocks this off."
"Some men don’t seem to care that their wife is angry, but they care if they are inconvenienced. Is this a pattern? Does he frequently correct you or tell you how to do things? It may be time for couples counseling." ~ Freyjas_child
"Omg. Let the child manage the kitchen himself, if he’s so f*cking opinionated. Easy fix. Go watch a movie or take a bath. Pamper yourself."
"This is negging and minimizing you. It’s to put you down and make you feel small and worthless. Obviously NTA." ~ NicolinaN
"I lived on a farm where we had a community agreement—do not give people unsolicited direction on how to do something unless you’re willing to just do it yourself. Since the computerized lying and hallucination machines aren’t capable of doing anything in the physical world, they’re exempt from giving direction about it."
"Really, the issue is your husband keeps undermining you and he’s not even smart enough to know what the f*ck he’s talking about so he’s outsourced undermining you to a machine. And I have absolutely zero respect for anyone who uses ChatGPT in lieu of their brain for any reason, but he’s doing it just to be controlling and disrespectful of you. NTA." ~ georgiechristine
"You are a better woman than I will ever be, because my very petty, very unforgiving nature would force me to follow him around constantly asking ChatGPT what he is doing wrong, and explaining him how wrong he is."
"Or not even asking AI, just making stuff up on such a consistent basis that he would be the one in tears by the third day, and threatening to call the cops on me by the fifth."
"Stuff like, 'Chat says your pants and shirt do not go well together. Chat says you say this word wrong. Chat says your mom loves your brother more than you. Chat says you don't have the adequate PSI in the tires of your car. Chat says this band you like objectively sucks. Chat says you sports team will loose every important game this year. Chat says you drink funny, like how you reach out with your lips for the glass is specifically something low IQ people do. Chat says your role model holds very different values from your own and would be ashamed if they knew about you. Chat says your favorite food is not healthy for man your age and you cannot have it anymore. Chat says you should probably start wearing adult diapers, without specifying why, but I think we both know why. Chat says your favorite signer is Ed Sheeran. Chat says the people you miss don't miss you back. Chat says your childhood dog ran away because he disliked you. Chat says that the smell is coming from your mouth'." ~ Lightlysingedwitch
"Perhaps if you consulted chat GPT about his bedroom and performance, he'd stop doing this. It's silly that people suspend their own curiosity and thought processes, using technology as an oracle instead of a tool. ~ Duke_Newcombe
"I wouldn't cry over this, but I definitely would stop doing him favors in the kitchen. If he says you do everything wrong, then he can do it all himself the "right" way or have ChatGPT do it for him. ~ MistressJacklynHyde
"Same, but I think I'd also ask chat gpt during sex if he's doing it right lol. Maybe it could offer him some pointers. Or turn on weaponized incompetence mode, ask him for advice on every chore, fail it and delegate to him since he knows better apparently. A lot of possibilities there. ~ irrocau
"People like this can drive you absolutely batsh*t, even if you like them in every other way."
"I'm a mechanic, my neighbour asked me about his dash telling him he had a taillight out on his car, but he didn't know which one. I said 'go out, hit the brakes, and have your wife stand behind the car and tell you which is out...'."
"He said 'OK, great, thanks, I'm going to ask ChatGPT first though'. I'm thinking, 'How the f*ck is ChatGPT going to tell you anything here?' Some people can't not use it for everything." ~ deebz19
OP needs to make clear to her husband that his behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated.
