When a friend or family member finds themselves in a vulnerable position, it’s usually our inclination to help them.
Even when that help might require us to step far out of our usual comfort zones.
However, we might only feel inclined to offer this sort of extreme help if the person in question truly needs it.
No matter how much the individual may claim they need our help.
The husband of Redditor AmphibianBulky2296 recently found himself sidelined.
Adding a number of other obligations to the original poster (OP)’s already busy schedule.
However, one request her husband made was one thing too many for the OP, who flatly refused to oblige, much to her husband’s shock and anger.
Wondering if she was being unfair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for making my sick husband clean up his vomit?”
The OP explained why she felt the need to lay down limits when it came to helping her husband:
“My husband has been dealing with a stomach bug of some kind the last few days.”
“Vomiting, diarrhea, nausea, etc.”
“I’ve been taking care of him and the house and kids by myself because of it which is a lot of work with 2 under 5.”
“This morning my husband wanted to try eating something so I made him toast as requested.”
“As he was on the couch nibbling on his breakfast I was making our toddlers their breakfast and feeding them when I hear him violently gagging in the other room.”
“He’d been hanging out in the living room during this entire illness so he had a trash can there in case he had to puke or whatever.”
“I called out to him to remember to use it or to go to the bathroom if he thought he was vomit.”
“He didn’t listen and threw up all over the floor and got some on the couch.”
“Husband then comes into where I’m feeding our kids and says he’s gonna go to our room so I can clean up his puke.”
“I said absolutely not there was really no reason for him to vomit all over the floor so he needed to take care of it.”
“I had been cleaning it up all weekend already without complaining when he was getting sick by surprise but he has plenty of time to prepare for this and not make a mess.”
“Husband is now all mad at me for not showing him a good bedside manner.”
“So AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to clean up. her husband’s vomit.
Everyone agreed that since her husband was well enough to take himself up to the bedroom, then he could have cleaned up his own vomit, with many pointing out how forcing the OP to clean up his vomit could result in her and their kids getting sick as well:
“NTA.”
“Does he not understand that the rest of us have been sick before too?”
“You get like a little indication before you get violently ill even if it’s like three seconds for you to grab that trash can.”
“I am 44 years old and I have had stomach bugs and chemo and not once have I ever puked all over my floor or furniture.”
“You can hightail it to the sink, to the bathroom, somewhere other than just letting it go.”
“I can’t believe those were his expectations.”- Snowfizzle
“I don’t have to remind my 9 year old to puke in the toilet.”
“My 9 year old is smarter than your grown a** husband.”
“NTA.”
“He did that sh*t on purpose.”- AmberWaves80
“I’ve been so violently sick before that I couldn’t make it to the bathroom and threw up in the hallway, so I know it’s not always possible to control it.”
“But you know what I also did?”
“Cleaned that up myself because (a) I’m an adult that can clean up after myself and (b) I didn’t want to potentially expose anyone else to my horrible stomach bug germs.”
“Your husband is being selfish and inconsiderate.”
“NTA.”- moomintrolley
“When you are sick, is your husband pulling his weight?”
“NTA, btw.”
“I just wanna know he’s not only TA but also a hypocrite.”- Odd-Tangerine1630
“In almost 25 years with my husband I have NEVER cleaned his vomit.”
“Only had a couple occasions when he didn’t get to the bucket or toilet (early on, booze was involved) but he cleaned up his own mess.”
“I have never missed bucket or toilet, most I ask is for him to bring me a bucket if I’m in bed sick.”
“Any cleaning of the bucket is done by the person who puked.”
“My kids both have been cleaning their own sick since early teens, because we take responsibility for ourselves.”
“I’ll make soup, bring tissues, commiserate… but after age of 12 your puke is your own.”
“NTA.”- Sweet_Vanilla46
“NTA.”
“That’s disgusting ,lazy and disrespectful.”
“A fully grown adult who is capable of getting toast to their mouth is capable of getting a bin to their mouth.”- International-Fee255
“NTA sounds like he didn’t even try to aim for the bin and then he wants you to clean up after him?”
“Nah.”- xdark_realityx
“Your husband needs to grow up.”
“It’s not like he’s completely incapacitated and needing a full time caretaker, especially if he can go out of his way to find you to inform you he’d vomited so you could deal with it.”
“If he can roam around the house like that he can also take a minute to clean up after himself.”
“You are NTA.”- avocad_ope
“NTA.”
“And he’s also TA for hanging out in the living room instead of hiding away in a bedroom so this doesn’t pass through the whole family.”- Bookssportsandwine
“So your husband presumably has some sort of contagious stomach bug.”
“He decides to stay in the living room instead of a spare bedroom or something?”
“While you have 2 kids under 5 who could catch it from him?”
“And then he wants the caretaker of 2 kids under 5 to get in direct contact with his puke, so you can catch it too?”
“NTA but who is this weirdo you married wtf.”- shame-the-devil
“NTA.”
“You are the mother of his children, not his mother.”
“He’s a grown man who can’t even bother throwing up on a trash can.”
“He can clean up his own mess.”
“If he’s complaining about your bedside manners, tell him he needs to show basic manners first.”- Pandasrthebest
“NTA.”
“He did that sh*t on purpose.”- MeanestGoose
“Is your husband a 7-year-old child?”
“What grown man has to be told not to puke on the floor and couch?”
“NTA.”- sarahkazz
“NTA.”
“It sucks that he’s sick but adults should be able to clean up after themselves unless he is so sick he needs to be hospitalized.”
“Also it sounds like this could have totally been avoided.”- EmuRemarkable1099
“NTA.”
“Even people who are hospitalized generally remember to use a puke bag now that he’s suffered through cleaning it up watch him never miss again.”- Witty_Average198
“NTA.”
“Whenever my man pukes he also manages to ‘not make it to’ the toilet or garbage despite us talking about this.”
“I think they genuinely have no sense of how much cleanup these things are, and don’t force themselves to move over the one foot to miss the floor.”
“Obviously we’ve all been really sick before, and not once have I just puked onto a floor or furniture.”- ivytower10
“NTA.”
“That’s ridiculous, as an adult I’ve never once needed someone to clean up my vomit.”- Obvious-Diver-4086
“Is this actually a thing?”
“Are there people just puking anywhere and expecting other people to clean it up?”
“Wild.”
“NTA.”- MissionMassive563
The OP later returned with an update, sharing how the opinions of the Reddit community seemed to be just what her husband needed to reevaluate his perspective:
“Never expected so many comments.”
“Feel very validated.”
“All day my husband kept making snide comments at me about not being a good wife and anyone who cares about their loved one wouldn’t ‘punish’ them when they’re sick.”
“So I showed him your comments and it finally shut him up.”
“I’ve received many DMs, and there’s been lots of comments about hubby possibly getting me and our children sick. Don’t worry, the rest of us are okay.”
“Husband likely got food poisoning from eating food that had been sitting in his work break room for nearly 24 hours.”
“Thanks for all the comments.”
The fact that the OP’s husband asked her to clean up his vomit isn’t quite as shocking as the fact that he did so with no apology or guilt, nor any gratitude for all the help she had previously provided him.
Shame that it took the opinions of total strangers on the internet to make him reflect on his behavior.
Hopefully, it also might lead him to thank the OP.