Cooking is one of the most traditional ways to show affection. It takes so much time and effort that some recipes are saved for special people or events.
Which is why it is heartbreaking when people eat it as if it was nothing.
Redditor ThrowawayHubbs3 encountered this very issue with her husband. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for losing it after my husband ate from the lasagna I prepared for my niece’s birthday?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My niece’s (13) birthday was last Wed. She’s the most intelligent, most creative kid in the family. She loves her Auntie’s (me) lasagna and says it’s to die for.”
“For her birthday, she asked that I make her lasagna cause she loves it so much and having it will complete her happy day, I agreed with no hesitation. The day before her birthday I got to work. I went shopping for ingredients and spent hours in the kitchen to prepare it.”
“At 3pm, my husband got home, had lunch then opened the fridge to grab a drink and saw the lasagna. He asked about it and I answered this lasagna was made for my niece’s birthday. I told him I made family size portion so we could all eat together there at my parents house.”
“He was like ‘oh, really?.’ I asked him to please not touch it and he said he won’t.”
“He fell asleep on the couch after checking his phone as I went upstairs to get stuff done.”
Then, she came back downstairs.
“At 4pm I came downstairs to wake him up to go to my parents and found him already sitting up with plate in hand. I looked closer and saw he took a piece of the lasagna and ate it.”
“I looked at him he asked ‘are you okay?..hungry?'”
“While offering leftovers from his plate I lost it on him and asked why he touched the lasagna when I already warned against touching it since it was for my niece’s party.”
“He said ‘I woke up feeling hungry’ okay but he already had lunch and other snacks available in the fridge. He replied he really wanted to get a piece and couldn’t wait til we got to my parents and reminded me that he loses his appetite at my parents house.”
“I called him unbelievable cause he ruined how the lasagna looked when he cut the middle of it and messed it up by a kid. I spent time, money, effort on it and he casually said ‘no big deal’ but to me it is especially sine I told him this was for my niece’s party.”
“He said I was overreacting and needed to chill because he was hungry and it’s not like he ate the whole thing. And then suggested I stop by the supermarket and grab one if it’s that ‘important’ as he quoted with his fingers.”
Things escalated quickly.
“We got into an argument over this and he ended up not going saying it’s cause of how treated him over lasagna. When I got home he kept giving me cold shoulder, didn’t even ask how things went after what he did.”
“My husband has ADHD but normally he understands when I ask him to leave stuff alone. He also loves food and his favorite is lasagna. While there was no harm with him taking a piece, I just lost my temper which is a bad thing.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. I can’t even work out your husband’s train of thought in this one. Sounds like he’s just an entitled Ah who wanted Lasagna and didn’t give af about your time or your niece’s happiness. I’d have lost my cool too, probably not the most mature way to handle a dispute, but in the moment being disrespected like that would make me really lose my cool.”
“Edit: Thank you for the upvotes & awards! ❤️” ~ Kristieboo96
“OP was much more chill than I would’ve been tbh. What an insufferably selfish and self centered man to do that without even an ounce of remorse.” ~ enterpursuingabear
“Seriously even I feel angry on behalf of OP. The amount of work she put into it and the fact that it was something that was requested of her on behalf of a child for a birthday that he was actually going to attend.”
“I would demand that he actually made this up to me by taking me shopping to buy said ingredients and helping me actually reassembly brand new lasagna and last but not lease forcing him to take the blame if we ended up late. NTA” ~ SnooSuggestions2288
“I absolutely hate that his ADHD is being brought up as a possible reason. I have ADHD, I forget things. But I would be mortified, guilt-stricken, and apologetic AF if I ate someone else’s birthday food after promising I wouldn’t.”
“50% of his a**holish behavior was how he reacted to his wife being justifiably upset. He outright mocked her and condescended to her by suggesting she replace a homemade lasagna with a store-bought one. Frankly, given his attitude, I don’t think he forgot. He just decided it wasn’t a big deal (because it wasn’t a big deal to him).” ~ thistleandpeony
“It actually almost feels like it was on purpose. Like he saw it and decided then he wanted some so faked falling asleep on the couch and waited long enough to know that OP was busy before helping himself – and based on OP’s description didn’t just get a small piece from the corner or something to make it less conspicuous but made sure to get a big piece from right in the middle – basically a big giant fuck you to OP.”
“NTA OP. I woulda had more than words for him for ruining my hard work.”
“EDIT: Thanks for the awards and upvotes! This has been my best response posted so far in terms of response so I really appreciate it!” ~ genxeratl
“I agree. I was thinking “well if he took the corner, you can just cut that part of the lasagna away an make it look almost ‘perfectly imperfect.'” But he cut the center out? That was no accident. He knew exactly what he was doing when he did that.” ~ Coffee-Historian-11
That’s so disrespectful to OP and her niece.