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Parent Refuses To Add Husband To Insurance After He Accepts Job That Doesn’t Cover Family

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Dealing with health insurance coverage in the United States is difficult. While many employers provide some level of coverage for their employee, covering the rest of the family can still be an expensive endeavor.

Maybe that’s why Redditor Faiths_got_fangs is so frustrated. Their husband is in a situation where insurance coverage is a little more difficult than the original poster (OP) was hoping.

There’s a new path forward, but OP doesn’t want to pursue it, since it would cost much more money. But what about their husband’s coverage?

OP is facing the possibility they were a jerk in this situation, and decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about what happened.

The devil is in the details.

“AITA for not putting my spouse on my health insurance coverage?”

Did they have a good reason to not add their spouse?

“Roughly a year ago, my spouse took a new job for more money that offered incredibly limited benefits compared to the position he had. His current employer offered to pay 100% of health insurance coverage for the employee, but will only cover the employee.”

“There is no insurance offered at all for spouse or kids.”

“I didn’t like it at the time. We have kids. One of the kids has some delays and is a healthcare frequent flier.”

“My husband did not view no insurance for me or the kids as a deal breaker and took the job anyways.”

“He was initially told he would have insurance within a couple months of being hired. It turned into insurance after a year once he actually started the job.”

“I wanted him to make an issue of it since he had it in writing in his initial offer that he’d have insurance in X amount of days, but he refused to address it with his company. Suffice it to say, we are almost at the year mark and he has heard nothing about his insurance.”

“To solve the immediate issue, we all got marketplace coverage. It’s mediocre at best. It’s not cheap, but we manage with it.”

“I’ve recently taken a job with great benefits. I took less money than I might have made elsewhere specifically because this job has great benefits.”

“The cost to insure myself + kids is very reasonable and it is good coverage.”

“The cost to insure all of us (meaning myself + husband + kids) is several hundred dollars higher. Not unreasonable, but it’ll cost me several thousand dollars a year to specifically insure my husband.”

“Adding him nearly doubles the monthly price. I don’t make as much as he does, so basically a month’s worth of my annual income will be going to insure him.”

“He asked me if I was going to insure him. I said no. He’s supposed to have his own coverage and I feel like he needs to handle that with his employer rather than passing the cost of insuring him onto me.”

“He definitely thinks I’m being an a**hole.”

“What do y’all think? Am I wrong here?”

OP worked hard to cover themself and the children, leaving their husband with the mediocre marketplace coverage. But should OP add the husband to the insurance?

On Reddit, the users of the board judged OP for refusing to add their husband to their insurance coverage by including one of the following in their response:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

OP’s husband made a choice to take a job, despite the lack of insurance coverage for his family. OP and the kids were basically forced to find insurance coverage elsewhere.

On top of OP taking a job specifically to provide good insurance for their kids, OP’s husband as a way forward to get coverage. According to his offer letter, he is entitled to insurance after a few months.

The board agreed that OP was NTA to exclude their husband from insurance.


“He didn’t give two thoughts to you or the children when he took his new job, and he didn’t even insure he wouldn’t bankrupt your family if he himself got sick or injured by chasing up his promised health insurance.”

“I wouldn’t add him to your policy unless he gives you the money that it will cost to add him to the policy every single month. Why should you be giving up even more of your salary to pay for something he should already have via his own employer?” – ewearehere

“NTA he was fine with not covering insurance for you or the kids. he needs to grow up and talk to HR about the breech of contract.” – Fainora

“NTA – the a**hole in this one is your husbands employer. a compromise would be your husband paying you the difference in the healthcare costs (depending on how you split money/accounts/bills).”

“him expecting to have more money on his end while you float his insurance costs is some B.S. though.” – Zach_203

“NTA. It’s kind of fascinating that he thinks you’re the a**hole when he has an employer telling him he has 100% insurance coverage for him, he wasn’t worried about you and your kids not having ANY coverage, now you have an option to cover yourself and your kids and I would think he would just be happy about that.”

“And then get his a** in gear and go find out about his own insurance. Sounds like he’s whiny and selfish.” – mcclgwe

“Not at all, he has coverage that only covers himself, you are covering yourself and the kids, if it’s going to double then that’s good reason not to add him, if you were doing it out of spite then maybe you would be an a**hole but it sounds like he is being selfish.”

“My concern is that these are generally red flags towards a theme of selfish behavior, something tells me he thinks about his own needs and prioritizes them accordingly.” – timecop1983

What’s crazier is that OP’s husband has an easy way to solve this. He can talk with his employer about the coverage that was promised.

Despite this, he seems insistent on not asking about the promised healthcare coverage that would have supposedly been 100% employer paid.

What has him so spooked?

“Wait. Employer was supposed to cover 100% of healthcare for the employee – but then it turned into not until after a YEAR?!?

“That’s basically no healthcare, and it sounds like they bait-and-switched him. :(” – PinkedOff


“It said 60 days in his initial offer/contract. He started the job and hit that point and they said ‘oh no, it’s a year’ and he dropped the issue.”

“It’s now almost a year. He has not been given any paperwork for the insurance. Every time I’ve asked him to pursue it with them, he refuses.” – Faiths_got_fangs (OP)

“Forgive my bluntness, but it sounds like he needs to get his head out of his a$$ and either make them pony up the insurance OR get a different job that offers it (and make sure they DO give it).”

“This is ridiculous, and at this point it’s entirely his fault for allowing them to get away with it for this long.” – PinkedOff


“Is his employer required to provide insurance? If his employer has over 50 full time employees, then they are not just breaking the law about providing insurance, but they need to be providing insurance to children too.”

“He needs to raise a fuss about the insurance, and if they still continue to not provide it, report them.”

“That said, if exchange insurance is cheaper than adding him to yours, then not the AH because he still has coverage.” – EvangelineTheodora

“His employer promised (in writing) to cover 100% of his insurance costs after 60 days. That was in his initial offer/contract.”

“He started the job and was then told a year. It has been almost a year now. He has heard nothing about his insurance and he refuses to address it with the company.”

“I’m not sure if they’re breaking the law or not. It’s iffy. They have 2 offices but whether they’re legally the same company or two is unclear.”

“If they’re the same, they’re over 50. If legally 2 companies, they’re not.”

“We have had marketplace insurance because we had to have something and I was working part time and didn’t get insurance through my small employer.”

“I’ve now accepted a full time position with great insurance, which I chose in no small part for the benefits, but I feel like he needs to pursue the insurance he was promised by his employer.”

“He will still have his marketplace coverage if I don’t cover him. He’s not uninsured. If I don’t add him to mine, he can either continue marketplace coverage OR he can deal with his employer and pursue the coverage he was promised.” – Faiths_got_fangs (OP)

The biggest worry is that OP’s husband is lying about some aspect of his insurance coverage, whether it’s hiding the real reason his company won’t provide it, or why he won’t ask about it.

Either way, he made it his problem and OP has solved the issue for themselves and their children.

Written by Ben Acosta

Ben Acosta is an Arizona-based fiction author and freelance writer. In his free time, he critiques media and acts in local stage productions.