For all the excitement that comes with traveling, it is also guaranteed to come with more than a little bit of anxiety.
Getting to the airport, going through security, and dealing with thousands of people is enough to make one want to scream.
Most people can breathe a huge sigh of relief once they finally take their seat on the plane.
Until they meet some of their fellow travelers.
Redditor roseinmybud recently boarded a flight they planned to sleep through.
Unfortunately, that proved to be a problem owing to the passengers seated behind the original poster (OP).
While the OP tried to be polite, their temper got the better of them.
Worried they might have been out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar “Am I The A**Hole” (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH for yelling at a mother of 3 on a flight?"
The OP explained why they found themselves getting heated with another passenger:
"Yesterday, I was on a full 7 am flight leaving from San Fran to Chicago."
"The flight was expected to be 4 hours and 15 minutes."
"With boarding, take off, and landing, I was looking at about 5 hours with butt in chair on the aircraft."
"Once I was settled in my seat, preparing my eye mask and neck pillow to knock tf out, I realized two feet were kicking me in my back."
"I could actually feel both feet as United’s seats were soft, and it was nearly direct contact with my back."
"I turned around to look through the crack and saw a child, maybe around 3-4 y/o, sitting directly behind me, another child, around 4-5 y/o, next to her, and a mom holding an infant sitting next to him."
"I slowly turned around and realized the gravity of my situation and that this would need to be handled delicately."
"I first waited about 10 minutes to see if mom was going to recognize that the child was consistently putting her feet on the back of the chair and tell her to stop."
"Mom said nothing."
"She and her brother were also tapping the entertainment screen on my chair, which I could feel, and messing with the tray table, to which I could also feel."
"I was so tired and knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep like this so before we took off, I mustered up enough confidence to turn around and I very polity asked mom if she could be mindful that her daughter was kicking my chair and if she could please see to it that she stopped'.”
"Mom said sorry she 'she didn’t realize,' and I sat back down."
"I questioned how, if you were watching your kids with your own eyes, you wouldn’t see their feet on the chair, but okay."
"No less than 30 seconds later, the kid was kicking my chair again, and I accepted it would simply be a long flight."
"I managed to fall asleep, but about an hour into the flight, I was woken up because the little girl was opening and closing the window shade right behind where my head was resting on the wall."
"I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I spent the next 3 hours getting kicked, having my chair pulled cause the kids were pulling the tray back and forth, and having light come in and out because she was messing with the shade."
"The kid was rotating between one of these three things for the entire flight."
"I just sat there, said nothing to anyone, and suffered."
"The mom would say 'stop' or use a stern 'scary' voice and grit 'get your feet down' or 'don’t mess with that' but the little girl really didn’t care or listen and just kept doing all of it the entire flight."
"Finally, once we landed the taxi to the gate took a grueling 30 minutes."
"Toward the end, the kid started getting fussy and having a bit of a fit, so she repeatedly started kicking the back of the chair."
"I couldn’t take it anymore, so I stood up, turned around and yelled, 'please get your kid to stop kicking the chair, please, I can’t take this anymore!'”
"I sat back down fuming at the situation and how a person could allow their kid to do this to someone else."
"I was tired and cranky, and I felt bad that I snapped like that."
"I get traveling with three kids is hard, let alone 3 but she had another adult with her that she could have used for help."
"She wasn’t alone."
"And I think there had to have been something she could have done to prepare for such a long flight, like have toys, activities, or even snacks to help the kids occupy their time and hands."
"Am I the a**hole for yelling at the mom?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Just about everyone agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at the mother and her children.
That being said, not everyone agreed that the OP handled it as best they could have, with many feeling they should have gotten a flight attendant involved to possibly ease the situation:
"I use my stern preschool teacher voice and speak directly to the kid."
“'Please stop kicking my chair, I don’t like that'.” - PastafarianVibes
"Even for a full flight, it’s still best to make the flight attendant aware of the situation."
"Also maybe they would have a solution you don’t know of, such as shuffling the seating arrangement of the family."-MathematicianLumpy69
"You should have asked the attendant if there was another open seat elsewhere."
"They might have bumped you to first."- yankykiwi
"A girl I was flying with was getting kicked, so she elbowed her own chair several times in rapid succession and then just turned and sweetly said, 'Just letting out some aggression'."
"With a smile, and miraculously, there was no more kicking."- Roscoe_P_Trolltrain
"You should've asked the flight attendant to handle it."
"I might've turned to the child and said 'stop, you are hurting me' directly."
"I don't understand why adults don't explain to their kids WHY they aren't allowed to do something fun."- lydocia
"Maybe the mom could have swapped places with the kid so she was sat directly behind op."
"Next time, involve the cabin attendant before you snap."
"Not only is it their job to resolve these things (they might relocate you to another seat, for example), it's much less likely to result in any negative outcomes."- jashsu
"NTA for being upset at the kicking, or asking the mom to stop them from kicking."
"YTA for yelling and being upset about a kid using the entertainment system, tray table, and window (all reasonable things for them to do)."
"Also I’m curious how them using the tray table was pulling your hair?"
"Did you have your hair over the back of the seat?"
"Because that is gross and also AH behavior."- Lucky-Bonus6867
"What's odd about this story is you leave it until the end to mention the mother had another adult with her."
"Who?"
"Where were they?"
"What were they doing?"
"I'm a father, and I've never left my wife alone to deal with our daughter on flights, when she was younger, I did most of the keeping her from bothering people."
"I can't imagine how hard it must be with 3, but as others have said, that's where preparation and boundaries come in."
"It's interesting that the parents here seem to be less sympathetic with the mother than the presumed non-parents."
"I'm inclined to agree that the mother needed to do a better job."- Fean0r_
"I do not understand how people travel without a full Mary Poppins bag of snack, books, activities, and games."
"I used to pack a carry-on that was loaded."
"On a 4-hour flight with three kids, I had my Poppins bag."
"When we came in, the guy in the row in front sighed loudly and rolled his eyes."
"After the flight, he turned to me and said, 'I’ve never seen kids this well behaved'.”
"It takes WORK to have kids on a plane."- Flashy-Head-2298
No one should have to endure having their seat kicked for an entire flight.
Something a parent should be conscious of if their child is the one kicking the seat.
Even so, managing children is not as easy as it seems.
Had the OP alerted a flight attendant to the situation, they might have come to a happier resolution.
