Weddings are meant to be fun occasions to get together and celebrate someone’s love and future together.
But sometimes, weddings can expose the truth of who a person is, cringed the users of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor No-Steak698 was invited to a friend’s wedding but noted that he did not receive the option to bring a guest, even though he’d been seeing the same guy for over two years and both of them had a good relationship with the bride.
But when the Original Poster (OP) began to uncover the truth behind the wedding invitation, he wasn’t comfortable staying for the whole wedding while his boyfriend was at home.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for leaving my friend’s wedding early because I wasn’t allowed a plus-one invitation?”
The OP did not receive a plus-one invitation to bring his boyfriend to a friend’s wedding.
“My (32 Male) friend, Emma, got married last weekend.”
“I was excited to attend, but when the invites went out, I noticed I wasn’t given a plus-one invitation.”
“I’ve been with my boyfriend (30 Male) for almost two years, and he’s met Emma multiple times. They’ve always gotten along fine, or so I thought.”
“When I asked Emma about it, she said it was a budget thing and only married couples were getting plus-one invitations.”
“I was a little hurt, but I didn’t argue. I figured it was her wedding and her rules.”
But at the wedding, the OP discovered the bride wasn’t totally telling the truth.
“But when I got to the wedding, I immediately noticed that several people, including some who weren’t even in relationships, had brought dates.”
“I tried not to let it bother me, but throughout the night, people kept asking where my boyfriend was since they assumed he’d be there. It was awkward.”
“Later, I found out from a mutual friend that Emma had deliberately not invited my boyfriend because she couldn’t stand how perfect he was. (What the f**k?!)”
“Apparently, she’d commented before about how he was too charming and how it made her feel like her now-husband looked bad. (Again… what the f**k?!)”
“I was shocked. My boyfriend is just a genuinely nice guy who’s always polite and friendly.”
This revelation made the OP very uncomfortable.
“After the dinner and speeches, I felt so uncomfortable that I decided to quietly leave rather than stay for the dancing. I sent Emma a quick congratulatory text and left.”
“The next day, Emma texted me, furious that I left early without saying goodbye.”
“I told her I knew the real reason my boyfriend wasn’t invited and that I didn’t feel welcome.”
“She said I was making her day about me and that I was overreacting and that she just didn’t want my boyfriend to take the spotlight at her wedding.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out that while the bride wasn’t required to provide plus-one invitations, the OP also wasn’t required to stay the whole evening.
“NTA. Your ‘friend’ is allowed to not invite anyone she would like to exclude from her nuptials. She is not, however, allowed to excuse herself from the reactions she yields from her decision.” – hhamzarn
“Imagine if Emma was like, ‘YOU CAN’T LEAVE! YOU’RE RUINING MY AESTHETIC!'”
“It’s a wedding, not a hostage situation, so guests can leave anytime they want.”
“The way Emma has treated you is totally unacceptable, I’d seriously reconsider the friendship. You deserve better. If there are going to be rules about plus ones, they should be applied to everyone equally!” – MaryMaryQuite-
“NTA. Leave when you want.”
“Emma acted like a child, and that’s just a shame for an adult. Author, don’t take it to heart; it’s her problem, not yours.”
“You tried to be a good friend, but she didn’t appreciate it. Just move on and surround yourself with people who will value you and your partner.” – Mischievous_Muse
“NTA! I was fully expecting to think the opposite, but as a bride of less than a year, I can tell you that my husband and I didn’t have these fake rules for anyone. Everyone was treated the same, and we had to make serious decisions on that. You did the right thing.” – CptKUSSCryAllTheTime
“NTA. How are you ‘overreacting’ when you stayed for the primary components of the ceremony and then quietly excused yourself? The math ain’t mathing. If anything, *she* made her wedding ‘all about you’ when she made up a rule just for you to exclude your boyfriend.” – Kiloura
“When other attendees asked you, ‘So where’s your boyfriend?,’ you should’ve answered honestly, ‘He wanted to come, and I wanted him with me. But my invite excluded a plus-one. Emma told me only married couples were allowed a plus-one due to the reception budget, but that’s obviously not the case,’ and add a side-eye at the end of that sentence.”
“If Emma saw you as a legit friend, true friend, she would’ve had you with a plus-one.”
“What she did was unbecoming of a friend and disheartening. Now you know WHO not to make time for in the future and equally to be short with or ignore when out with mutual friends where she’s present.”
“Should she continue to bring this matter up, the easiest answer is, ‘What you did was unbecoming of a friend. Friend’s don’t lie or deceive friends. There’s really nothing more to say.'”
“NTA… I’d have left the moment I noticed several other non-family members with their dates. I wouldn’t have bothered texting either.” – Wild_Billy_61
Others side-eyed Emma for getting married while clearly having eyes for the OP’s boyfriend.
“If I were OP, I would send a text to his friend’s new husband, apologizing for leaving early but dropping something like, ‘I learned my friend made comments before about how boyfriend was too charming and how it made her feel like her now husband looked bad in comparison,’ and you felt uncomfortable staying, and you wish them all the best.”
“NTA.” – Commercial-Loan-929
“NTA. Your friend is jealous and insecure, and it’s not your responsibility to cater to her insecurities on her wedding day. Plus, who wants to stay at a wedding where you’re not even allowed to bring your significant other? That’s a major red flag.” – PickMyPumpkin
“NTA. She deliberately excluded ur boyfriend because she’s insecure? That’s her problem, not urs. Leaving was polite, considering. She’s the AH.” – Elladuskk
“NTA. If she’s that worried that your boyfriend is going to steal the spotlight on her wedding day, maybe it’s because she knows that her husband can’t match up and that she’s not actually really happy with him. Otherwise, she wouldn’t feel so threatened by your boyfriend being there.” – siren2040
“You are NTA, however, I do believe you should rethink this entire ‘friendship.'”
“She really isn’t a friend, OP, if she can act like that (with the invitation) and then react like that (to your leaving early).”
“The red flags are flying all around her bloody head. Pay attention, honey.” – Plane-Pain-6678
But a few were worried that Emma’s motivations were much darker.
“NTA, but she was lying about her reason to make herself look better. Emma is a homophobe, or someone in her family is. The ‘he’s just too perfect’ was just some bulls**t she made up to avoid being judged.” – SpiteWestern6739
“Whether it’s the person who told OP or Emma herself, somebody is lying about the ‘he’s just too perfect’ and Emma 1000% had an issue with the optics of two men being dates together at her wedding.”
“Whether she’s quite homophobic, or just homophobic enough that somebody’s homophobic uncle being upset about seeing OP and his boyfriend together would set him off and she doesn’t want to deal with that is up for debate, but there’s basically no doubt in my mind that it’s about OP’s sexuality.” – haleorshine
“Were any of the other non-married people with a plus one in same-sex relationships? (Because I super bet the answer is ‘no.’) So sad. Enjoy your wonderful boyfriend and ‘forget’ to include a plus one for Emma’s invite to your wedding one day…” – EmmySaurus-Rex
“I get the sense that bridezilla has had people (I’m picturing an aunt) look at group pictures and ask, ‘Who’s that handsome guy?’ And she’s had to say, Oh, that’s the OP’s boyfriend,’ then received the, ‘Oh, he’s gay?’ response with an air of derision.” – kanst
“I have a feeling that Emma or her husband didn’t want a gay couple at the wedding. The ‘your boyfriend is too perfect’ makes zero sense, and she’s trying to save face by saying something overly nice. She isn’t a ‘friend.'” – pimpinaintez18
The subReddit could not help but cringe over how this whole situation unfolded and what the most likely explanation was for the OP’s boyfriend not being invited.
No matter what, the bride made a decision based on appearances, and clearly, she had placed the aesthetic of her wedding over her friendships.