There are basic rules that come with smoking.
If you are in someone else’s house, you should ask before lighting up.
It’s just common courtesy.
Redditor blue-smoke- encountered this very issue with their sister-in-law. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
They asked:
“AITA for kicking my brother-in-law’vwys wife out for using medical marijuana?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My husband and I live a few states away from his brother and his wife, so we don’t see them that often. We arranged to see them this week.”
“They got here on Saturday. Sunday, I went out to the store and when I came home a few hours later the house stank like weed. When I said hi to them, it was obvious that she had been using marijuana.”
“I hate the smell of marijuana. I don’t know if this is weird but I cannot stand the smell at all. It’s gross and it quite literally makes me sick.”
“She confirmed that she had been using it. She said she figured it was okay since ‘it was medical marijuana so she needed it.’ She hadn’t asked.”
“I was already upset that she was using it but the fact that she hadn’t asked made it worse. I told her she could not have marijuana in our house and if she was using it she had to be off our property.”
“She said I was being unfair and that I didn’t understand and was being ‘ableist’ and that I couldn’t stop her from using prescription medication.”
OP’s sister-in-law did not care for OP’s rules.
“Later that day I found her doing it again and told her to leave. She blew up at me and said I had no right to make her leave.”
“She and my brother in law left that evening. They were very rude about it.”
“My husband thinks I was overreacting and I shouldn’t have been so rude about it when she was prescribed it by her doctor. He says I should have let them stay and just dealt with the smell, especially since we don’t see them often in the first place.”
“Now I’m wondering if he has a point.”
“AITA?”
“Edit – the second time she was also inside of the house.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA Smoking in someone’s house is never something you take upon yourself to do. You ask if it’s ok to do it outside, or away from windows if someone indicates they don’t want smoking (of anything!) inside or close by.”
“It literally doesn’t matter that it’s medical- she could have taken some gummies or a more discreet vape, she didn’t have to blaze up inside your home.” ~ callmekbro
“I absolutely agree. I don’t let anyone smoke anything in my house – legal, not legal, medical, etc. That is a boundary you are more than allowed to set for your guests.”
“Question – is medical marijuana legal where you are, OP? It doesn’t change my thoughts that you’re NTA, but I’m just curious.”
“Btw I also hate the smell of weed. Like a lot.” ~ Weatherbunny7
“Yes! Weed (and cigarette smoke) smoking inside can result in residual smoke stink on non-smokers.”
“I work for a private corporation. If I went to work and there was the tiniest whiff of weed smoke on me, I’d be sent for a drug test, and would like be on the short list for continuous ‘random’ testing for months. Hopefully my boss would believe my explanation.”
“Just because her pot smoking is legal for her, doesn’t mean that everyone can smoke or stink of weed.”
“She has to go outside to smoke. You are NTA. She and bro are complete jerks and are the TA.” ~ where_are_the_bats
Smoke smell lingers.
“Me either and I’m very 420 friendly and smoke the devils lettuce often since legalization in my state.”
“My old fashioned FIL who’s over 70 and smokes a billion camels a day understood just fine, no issues no problems, just stepped outside and away from the house.”
“It’s absolutely fine to have a rule about not smoking in your house. It doesn’t have to be political in any way shape or form. I have no judgements on anyone who smokes, unless your harming someone else or doing it in my house then GTFO. My kitty has asthma and my throw blankets are white and cost a fucking fortune.” ~ Dark_fascination
“Same! I’m a heavy, daily user for both medical and recreational and would NEVER light up in someone’s house without the ok. If they weren’t home and I really felt I needed it I would go outside, away from the house. But I usually find alternatives like a pen (which I hate but they are handy) for situations where you don’t want to have a smell or you’re just not sure if it’s ok. It’s not hard to pop outside and puff on one of those and have no lingering smoke.” ~ 420eastcoastbarbie
“I’ve smelled skunks that smell better than weed. But I’m also allergic to it so my disdain is extra special. The smell of the plant its self without it being smoked gives me an instant sinus headache and migraine and if I’m around it long enough, my throat thickens. It doesn’t quite close (not yet anyways) but its a scary uncomfortable feeling. And yes I recently had my allergy confirmed by a doctor. I’m allergic to all part including hemp oil and pollen.” ~ LittleRedCarnation
“Exactly. I don’t mind the smell of weed, but my spouse has asthma, so I don’t smoke inside. I use vapes and edibles. And when I’m at someone else’s house, I only bring edibles as they are much simpler than trying to find somewhere to smoke or vape. It’s simple etiquette, and only assholes don’t ask or consider more discreet options. NTA.”
“Edited to add: when I lived in a legal state, I also had a medical card due to chronic health issues. So I don’t even have sympathy for this person in that regard – using it for health reasons doesn’t make you less of an asshole for not asking or considering other ways of taking it.” ~ jma483
Their house, their rules.