Without sleep, a person can go crazy.
Disruptive sleep can be relentless.
So people are very particular about securing tranquil rest.
Sometimes, that is not always possible
Redditor Nervous_Ad_2867 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITAH? My roommate is a light sleeper, and after multiple complaints from her, I advised her to see a doctor.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“In our house, there are five people and four cats.”
“Everyone there is safely full of love, and I don’t think anyone truly has any malice, but sometimes I do think there’s a lack of consideration, and maybe it comes from all of us.”
“Recently, it’s been an issue where my roommate, who is in school, gets woken up by us closing doors or closing the toilet or anything really.”
“She tried to resolve the problem by turning on a fan in her room to help with the sound, and I tried to help by putting hush bumps on everyone’s door.”
“But sometimes they don’t work perfectly because it doesn’t stop the click from the doorknob, so you have to close it with the awareness that you have to turn the doorknob.”
“After months, she’s still complaining that the noise wakes her up and then she can’t go back to sleep, and that she loses out on like 4 to 5 hours of sleep, and while I do understand because she’s in school and has a lot going on at this point, it feels medical.”
“A quick summary of what I sent in our roommate chat was, ‘I’m not trying to come off any kind of way.'”
“‘We’ve tried all these things.'”
“‘Have you considered maybe seeing if a doctor could prescribe you something?'”
“I know we’re all different people, but personally, the other four people in the house hear a noise and go right back to sleep or don’t wake up at all.”
“And I don’t wanna be disrespectful, but that is my last suggestion to her because I’m not sure how else we can try to be quieter when sometimes it’s by accident.”
“She didn’t respond to that, and she’s not responding to anything I’ve said.”
“I even tried to message her privately outside of the roommate chat. 🙁 “
The OP left us with one little update.
***So she said it’s not necessarily the sound but the vibration that jolts her awake. But I don’t know, none of us have felt that, but maybe we’re just oblivious to it.”***
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. I’m a light sleeper, and I don’t make it anyone else’s problem.”
“I sleep with earplugs and a noise machine, and that’s solved all my problems.”
“I personally wouldn’t recommend jumping straight to a doctor, but definitely tell her to try earplugs.” ~ ausbby4
“First night with earplugs might be uncomfortable- but you get used to them really fast and there are lots of varieties.”
“They are actually amazing and absolutely game changers.”
“I used mouldable blue ones, and they fit your ear shape.”
“Honestly, they are everything.”
“It is THE solution.” ~ chubbykipper
“That is probably because your earplugs are too big–mine get sore from earplugs that are too big or stiff.”
“I usually use some soft silicone earplugs, and I have Alpine heavy-duty sleep earplugs if I’m going somewhere new.”
“10/10 agree earplugs help so much, NTA.” ~ FluffyBudgie5
“My dad is a sleep specialist, so I know that the most impactful thing your roommate can do is to make sure she never does work in her bed.”
“Since she is in school, it’s a safe bet that she is studying on or in her bed for hours every week.”
“Doing work in your bed tells your brain that the bed is a workspace, and when you are trying to sleep, you will wake up after a few hours and not be able to go back to sleep because your brain is trying to help you work.”
“She needs to study and do assignments at her desk, on the couch, or at the table, not in her bed.”
“It can take less than a week for this kind of problem to resolve when that simple change is made.”
“If she stops working in bed and nothing changes, then I’d suggest seeing a doctor.” ~ owlgal369
“I use a white noise sound machine every night so I don’t fixate on every little noise.”
“And the constant white noise lulls me to sleep.”
“But if I’m with my boyfriend, I always wear good earplugs because he snores like a freight train (he is looking into this and waiting on a sleep study).”
“If you try a few different earplugs, you can find some that are comfortable to sleep in.”
“Not those foam ones that you squeeze and put in your ear.”
“Check on Amazon for sleeping earplugs.”
“Sounds like your roommates are doing what you can to minimize noise, but she can’t expect everyone to be responsible for her light sleep.”
“When you live with roommates, you have to expect noise.”
“Sounds like she’s lucky to have roommates that actually care.”
“It’s time for her to make a conscious effort to help herself.” ~ Affectionatealways
“NTA, you’ve done a lot to try to adjust for her, but you can’t just go to the bathroom because the sound of a doorknob wakes her up.” ~ NoHorseNoMustache
“NTA, this isn’t inconsiderate level noise; it’s what you can expect when sharing a house amongst five, it’s not like she’s complaining about music, guests, or conversations.”
“It’s like you have to stress because you need to use the toilet at night, and sorry that’s on her to work out.” ~ Incendiaryag
“Gonna preface this by saying that I am a very light sleeper who can’t use white noise, and so am sympathetic to your roommate’s struggle.”
“However, your roommate needs to learn the difference between reasonable and unreasonable noise in a shared house at night.”
“TV, gaming, music, loud talking, doors banging – all unreasonable. But using the bathroom, walking around quietly, opening and closing doors quietly – all reasonable, even if it wakes her up.”
“The distinction is that reasonable noises are things the rest of you need to be able to do and that wouldn’t disrupt most people.”
“But she’s using herself as the measure and treating it as if anything that wakes her up is unreasonable.”
“It’s not reasonable to expect you guys to accommodate this extreme level of sensitivity.”
“If the noise being made at night is reasonable (which, from what you described, it is), it’s on her to deal with it.”
“NTA for the noise.”
“The doctor comment is getting into greyer territory, because it’s not really your place to suggest that, but I get where you’re coming from and don’t think it was unkindly meant, so I’m gonna go NAH on that aspect.”
“It doesn’t stray into a behavior for me, but her being upset by the doctor’s comment is not a behavior either, even though she is being about the noise.” ~ WaterDreamer12
“I mean, I don’t think there’s anything medically wrong with her just because she gets woken up by noise.”
“That’s pretty normal.”
“Yes, she could potentially get a sleep aid that would help her sleep through it if she wants to go that route.”
“A white noise machine might work better than a fan.”
“Could use more details, such as what time we’re talking about, but so far NAH.” ~ ConflictGullible392
“NTA, but this isn’t a situation for a light sleeper.”
“I mean, 4 cats in the house, and not one of them likes to wander around singing sad songs in the middle of the night?”
“I seriously doubt that.”
“That aside, there are many non-prescription options.”
“Melatonin. Valeriana. Earplugs.”
“CBD products, if they are legal in your area.” ~ Ingwall-Koldun
“NTA… has she tried a white noise generator to drown out the noise, usually more effective than a fan?”
“Also, a towel rolled up and pushed against the bottom of the door to her bedroom will block some noise.”
“She might also want to consider putting some acoustic tiles up on her walls to help insulate them from sound.” ~ Then-Chocolate-5191
“NTA. She should live alone, ideally in a freestanding building.”
“Being annoyed about the sound of doors latching isn’t reasonable.”
“When I have to work nights and sleep during the day, my husband is as quiet as possible if he needs to come into the room, but I never get mad if he makes a small noise that disturbs me.”
“He was shocked when we bought new dressers, and I insisted that they have stationary handles since the click of the swinging handles against the drawer would sometimes wake me up.”
“I didn’t tell him because it wasn’t solvable until we replaced the dressers.”
“This is my problem, and I use earplugs and a sound machine to solve it.” ~ Economy-Weekend1872
“NTA. You’ve done your part.”
“Maybe the roommate is finding they need to pony up for their own place.”
“Once someone is hyper-fixated on noises, there’s no getting around it.”
“My mother once griped at my dad for playing records in the next room.”
“He turned the volume down and down until it was off, just the needle on the record.”
“Turns out she could hear that still.”
“You’re not going to muffle a close listener out.” ~ Big-Second-8542
“NAH… but this isn’t a good situation for anyone right now, either.”
“Ya’ll are walking on eggshells (well, maybe feathers because the eggshell crunch would wake her up), and she’s not getting good restful sleep.”
“I would gently suggest to her that she should consider getting a sleep study done.”
“She might have sleep apnea or a circadian cycle issue, or it could even be the stress of school and everything else.” ~ Greygal_Eve
Reddit is with you, OP.
You can only do so much.
Your roommate is going to have to figure this out for herself.
You care, and you’re trying to help.