Ideally, siblings look out for each other out of instinct. In most reasonable situations, it’s a “no questions asked” kind of thing.
But that gets a bit more complicated when looking out for a sibling means creating conflict with another.
A recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated what that can look like.
The Original Poster (OP), known as Milljude, cut right to the chase in the title:
“AITA for lying about being pregnant?”
OP led with some family history.
“I (29-year-old female) have 2 younger sisters, Julie (27-year-old female) and Amie (22-year-old female).”
“We come from a very strict religious background of where there’s no sex before marriage no drinking under age etc.”
“While me and amie haven’t followed this path, Julie has and is honestly a bit bi***y about it as she thinks she’s better than us.”
Those dynamics were all in play during the recent holiday.
“Amie is single and living with me and my husband of 3 years, and has been for a while.”
“This Thanksgiving, we had the family over at my place and when my sister asked if she can go to the bathroom she comes out after a few seconds with a pregnancy test in hand asking who’s is it?”
OP, though, had her head on a swivel.
“I was confused as it wasn’t mine but then I saw amie getting nervous so i stood up and told everyone it was mine,”
“my husband was confused as we had previously agreed no kids, I have now explained to him and he understands.”
Then OP got the scoop.
“Later on I pulled amie aside and asked her about it.”
“Turns out as she has put on weight and has been throwing up alot she took a test but didn’t realise she left it on the counter.”
But such a delicate scheme was difficult to maintain.
“The night went on with my family congratulating me and my husband and hoping it was a boy or girl.”
“After speaking with my sister, we agreed the best thing to do would be to tell the family the truth.”
“We went on a zoom call and I announced that im not actually pregnant however Amie is.”
Reactions were, shall we say, mixed.
“To my surprise my dad was very supportive however my mum and sister were horrible to the both of us.”
“They were calling my sister a whore and me an a** for getting their hopes up, they then went on to yell at her for wanting an abortion.”
But OP wasn’t about to take that lying down.
“I asked them what’s she supposed to do if she’s not allowed to have the baby but also not allowed to have an abortion.”
“They angrily left the zoom call and never gave me an answer.”
“Now I feel bad though, so AITA?”
In anticipation of the oncoming Reddit feedback, OP closed with some important details.
“Something I don’t want to keep repeating: •Me and my husband are not comfortable lying about a miscarriage.”
“My sister wasn’t planning on having an abortion she just mentioned it so maybe my mum and sister would lay off a bit more”
“We didn’t think of saying it was a false positive—what was we meant to do when my sister’s baby arrives?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors took OP’s side immediately.
In fact, they congratulated her.
“NTA and you were awesome to think so quickly on your feet. I’m not sure I would have been that fast. And good for you for being so supportive. You are a wonderful sister.” — Lola_M1224
“NTA. You are an amazing sister to do something like this! Shoutout to your husband for also being so supportive of this decision. I’m sorry to hear your mom and sister acted so horribly.”
“You handled this situation perfectly” — whisker-kitty-
“NTA, you were trying to protect your sister which is admirable. Your other sister and mother sound like they’re drank the religious zealot koolaid a bit too much, which doesn’t really surprise me.” — Transquisitor
NTA! I’m so happy you are there for your sister. IMO you are a wonderful person and did the best you could based on knowing your family.”
“Your husband deserves credit for understanding and your Dad is a wonderful guy too!” — Pauzhaan
“NTA. You are a good sister with a good heart. You also immediately talked to your sister and cleared things up with your family.”
“It is your mother and other sister who caused this mess because you and Aimee were acting from fear of their reaction… and they did not rise above your low expectations.”
“One’s religious rights end where another’s start. Maybe time to go LC with mom and sis until they can learn to live and let live.” — del901
“NTA. This situation should have made your mom and sister realize how much of an a**hole they are. The fact that you had to lie about it because they are so ‘holier than thou’.”
“If you ever show them these posts, please direct them to mine. To the mom: the fact that your daughter had to lie for her sister shows that you never provided a safe space for them to come to you about their problems.”
“As a mother, especially to girls, you should have made your girls feel safe to talk to you about anything WITHOUT JUDGEMENT—shame on you.”
“For the sister: get off your high horse and be a sister. Should you ever make a mistake I bet your sisters will be there for you.”
“OP continue being an amazing sister and a wonderful woman.” — cheekygirl28
And while many people suggested she should have lied about a miscarriage to cover it up, one person understood OP’s point of view.
“NTA. Thank you for not lying about a miscarriage. They can be very traumatic and since they aren’t talked about you could have refreshed a trauma that your mother or any other relative or friend had who found out and you may not have even realized you did it.”
“I cry for random strangers who have miscarriages and miss my two little ones everytime I hear about a miscarriage.”
“I’m glad that other commenters have given better solutions to lying about a miscarriage and encourage anyone else reading to use those reasons rather than a false miscarriage.”
“Another potential excuse is that the line appeared after the time frame for reading the test and is an evap line.” — DormouseMcMouse
With the incident already in the past, there isn’t much OP can do to change things.
The real question is how she decides to carry on the relationship with her mom and sister.