Anyone who dreams of being a parent tends to have an idea of what they will name their children when that day finally comes.
Some people keep this a closely guarded secret.
Others have no trouble sharing this decision with anyone and everyone they've met.
Sometimes providing inadvertent inspiration for others, which not everyone finds a pleasant discovery.
Redditor Scary-Assignment-158 was expecting her first child, and knew the very name she wanted to give her unborn child.
Unfortunately it was a name the original poster (OP)'s niece also wanted to give to her first child down the line.
While the OP's sister and niece begged her to give her child another name, the OP stood firm in her decision.
Wondering if she was wrong for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for stealing my nieces future baby name?"
The OP explained why her sister and niece were not pleased with the name she planned on giving her daughter:
"I 32 F[emale] am currently pregnant and my mom passed away almost 3 years ago and my fiancé and I came up with a name that honors my biological mother who’s gone and his mother."
"I was excited and told my sister and she proceeded to tell me I can’t use our dead mother’s name for my baby because her daughter my niece who’s 17 wants that name for her future daughter."
"Mind you she’s not pregnant."
"I made a post announcing the boys name and the girls name and my sister and niece decided to not only bash me but also tell blatant lies and message one of my friends."
"The back story is my biological mother didn’t raise me or any of her kids (she had a lot of mental issues and did what was best for everyone)."
"We reconnected when I was 14 and our relationship was sometimes rocky again because of her mental state, but I loved my mother."
"She however did raise my nieces when they were little."
"That’s its own story."
"My sister and niece made my baby names announcement more of a d*ck-waving contest of who my mother loved the most and who loved my mother the most, which broke my heart. I had to remove the comments."
"I am high risk with this pregnancy, which they know, and I can’t handle the stress."
"Would I be the a**hole for using the name anyway or would that make me childish?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for sticking with the name she planned on giving her child.
Everyone agreed that baby names are not something people can stake a claim to, particularly if you aren't even pregnant yet, with many unable to see a reason why both the OP and her niece couldn't both name their children after their late mother:
"NTA - Stories like this remind me of My Big Fat Greek Wedding."
"'Over here is my brother, Ted, and his wife, Melissa... and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick'."
"Over here, my brother, Tommy, his wife, Angie... and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick."
"And here, my brother, George, his wife, Frida... and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick."
"Taki, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Nick, Nick."
"Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick."
"Nikki... and l am Gus."
"There's nothing wrong with family members having similar or same names."- Ok-Acanthaceae5744
"NO ONE OWNS BABY NAMES."
"TWO PEOPLE CAN HAVE THE SAME NAME."
"Thank you for attending my Ted Talk."
"Please like and subscribe."
"NTA."- TalkToHoro
"NTA."
"But the lesson here is not to announce future baby names until after the baby is born."
"Especially on social media."- Legally_Blonde_258
"NTA."
"You're literally pregnant NOW."
"That trumps hypothetical future grand niece."- Flat-Replacement4828
"NTA."
"Your niece fails to realize that her future baby daddy will also have to agree to the name."
"And odds are she will change her mind when the time comes."
"Also, if they do end up having the same name, they'll probably like it."
"People make way too big of a deal out of the same names."- TiredFed123
"NTA."
"If you use the name."
"It is likely going to be 10 years or more before your niece produces any prospective daughter."
"Cousins handle having similar names."
"In some cultures, all the cousins are likely to have the same names."
"You chose this name for good reasons."- AussieKoala-2795
"She’s a teenager."
"She may never even have a daughter."
"Name your baby what you want and just gray rock them."
"NTA."- SylphofBlood
"NTA."
"Nobody owns this name."
"You have every right to use it, and there's no reason why you niece can't also use it if she ever has a daughter."
"However, let this be a lesson to you: don't needlessly advertise your plans if you're unwilling to receive feedback on them."
"Once you chose to make an 'announcement' out of this, you put it out there as a conversation topic."
"Next time, keep things that you're going to think are none of other people's business to yourself."
"Also, this 'I am high risk with this pregnancy which they know and I can’t handle the stress' thing does not make a good impression."
"That's you basically imposing a reign of terror on everyone by threatening to have a miscarriage if anything upsets you, manipulating them into handling you with kid gloves and deferring to you in all things."
"You would be TA if that were the subject of your post."- MotelTheTailor1903
"NTA."
"Give your baby whatever name you want; your niece can give her future baby whatever name she wants."
"If they end up with the same name, who cares?"
"I can understand why a child might think it’s reasonable to call dibs on a baby name, but your sister shouldn’t be indulging this nonsense."- ThatFiguress
"NTA."
"But if she names her child the same name in the future, you have no right to be upset."
"You know she wants to use it, there can be an infinite number of family members with the same name."- KaleidoscopeWorth422
"NTA."
"A little odd to announce both name possibilities."
"More odd to freak out before knowing for sure what the sex of the baby is."
"Super entitled to be possessive of the name of a hypothetical baby."
"I have a friend who was not much older than your niece when she got annoyed that her sister used a name she had in mind for her hypothetical future daughter."
"Guess who still has zero children 18 years later?"- psycheraven
"NTA."
"Use the name."
"It would be one thing if they treated this like a discussion, though even then it's kinda weird to reserve a name in case a 17 yo might have a daughter in the future. But they made it a demand and then attacked you."
"Don't negotiate with terrorists."- htpjos
"Families can have more than one person with the same name."
"I was named after my aunt who was still living when I was named."
"A cousin of mine was named after a different aunt who is still living."
"My brother and a different cousin have the same name but spelled differently."
"NTA."- Rhiannon8404
"NTA."
"But everyone in this story needs therapy."
"Good luck."- Cat_o_meter
"NTA, I don't understand why your niece has a problem with this."
"She can still name her future kid whatever she wants; her kid having the same name as her cousin is a non-issue."
"I have several first cousins with the same name, from the same side of the family."
"My sister, even, has the same name as one of our first cousins."
"It's not a big deal."- Goeppertia_Insignis
"NTA."
"If your niece likes the name that much, she can use it as a middle name for her future child."
"My cousin was named after her maternal grandmother, but preferred to be called by her middle name, and about 15 years later, when the grandmother passed, her sister was expecting and ended up naming her daughter after the grandmother as well."
"Yes, she felt some type of way at first that her niece had the same legal first name, but she got over it."
"Your niece will too, I’m sure."- abtagrl090xix
One can only imagine that no two people in the OP's family share a name.
As that seems the only logical explanation for why she thinks two people in one family can't share a name.
At the end of the day, though, first-come, first-served...
