Finding the right beach and pool attire can be a very complicated and stressful issue.
Some people search for finding swimwear that covers up as much skin as possible, while others happily wear bikinis and speedos without a second thought.
Of course, while these uninhibited individuals have no problem showing off their bodies, not everyone is quite as comfortable looking at them.
Often expressing their disapproval of their relatively limited attire, even though these same people are doing nothing wrong but having a good time.
Redditor Just_Walk_7693 and his wife recently attended a pool party hosted by a friend.
During the party, the original poster (OP) was shocked to overhear his host making unnecessary commentary about his wife’s chosen pool attire.
When this same host eventually ceased keeping her opinions a secret, the OP found himself unable to control his anger.
Causing a somewhat unwanted scene at the pool party.
Feeling bad about his behavior, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole’ (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for cussing out the host for commenting on my wife?”
The OP explained what led him to clap back at the host of a recent pool party:
“I (31 M[ale]) and my wife (28 F[emale]) have been together for 4 years, married for 1.”
“She is intelligent, kind, funny, compassionate, and loving.”
“I am very lucky.”
“She also has an amazing figure, with a typical hourglass shape.”
“She usually dresses formally and conservatively for work (dress code), and in comfortable casuals around friends.”
“Fitting or revealing clothes are generally for when it’s just the two of us.”
“I think she looks great in everything and never gave this much thought before.”
“We went to a pool party hosted by one of our common friends (30 F).”
“Most of us were wearing normal clothes during brunch and changed into swimwear after.”
“The murmurs started soon as my wife stepped out in her bikini.”
“Most of them were surprised but complementary, but our host and a group of her friends became noticeably colder from this point, with comments about how she’s being attention seeking and vulgar.”
“My wife wasn’t wearing anything different from the other women – if anything, she was a little more covered up because she had a scarf around her waist and her bikini top was more like a regular brassiere.”
“I was already pissed off, but because they were talking amongst themselves at this point I decided to just ignore it and not create a scene.”
“When my wife took off her scarf thing to go into the pool though, our host yelled ‘Oh COME ON’ and then said to her friend in a loud voice (50% of the people there could hear) that my wife is an ‘attention wh*re’.”
“I admit I lost my cool and yelled back at her that she was a jealous b*tch and a terrible host.”
“My wife and I left shortly after.”
“Here’s why I may be the a**hole:”
“It’s been brought to my attention that “attention-wh*re” isn’t literally calling someone a wh*re.”
“I wouldn’t have called her a b*tch had I known this, but I still feel somewhat justified because whatever it means, it is still pretty offensive.”
“We were guests in her home.”
“This is my wife’s main point… she thinks we should have just left and reduced our interaction with that group.”
“We were one of the only 3 Indian families invited.”
“There is an element of representing my whole ethnicity when we are in a mixed group that’s very real.”
“The other two Indian couples are critical of me.”
“The others (8 white couples, one black) found it funny / are mostly on my side. I am not counting our host and her friends that she was talking to.”
“There were 4 children present (all under 13), and this is something I feel pretty sh*tty about too.”
“They aren’t the host’s kids, and their parents brushed off my apology, but I feel terrible about this part.”
“Despite all this, they’d been insulting my wife for 30 mins straight!”
“How is that OK?”
“So, Reddit, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for cussing out his host.
Everyone agreed that even if he could have chosen his words more carefully, the pool party’s host also had it coming after insulting the OP’s wife both behind her back and to her face.
The OP was merely standing up for his wife, with many encouraging the OP to seriously consider if it is worth staying friends with the host of the pool party:
“NTA.”
“Just because you were in their home doesn’t mean they get to berate your wife.”
“You did good defending her in front of many people; not many husbands will do that.”-throwawaylostw
“NTA.”
“And good on you for standing up for your wife.”
“The fact that they commented on your wife’s body with children present is the main problem, not you calling the ringleader a B.”
“And if you and your wife do choose to have your own children, you want to show them not to allow people to demean them the way they did your wife.”
“Those people (the hosts) are NOT your friends, and you should do more than ‘reduce your interactions’ with them – you should cut them off.”- No_Glove_1575
“NTA.”
“You spoke the truth and they hated you for it.”- Balawulf
“NTA.”
“FAFO.”
“Sorry, but the kids will learn worse words or probably already know those words.”- UniTacoCrn
“NTA.”
“Yeah I would have left too.”
“But the ugly head of the green monster will always be ugly.”
“That is what I would have told them.”- PumpkinPowerful3292
“NTA.”
“I would be proud if my husband stood up for me when I’ve done nothing wrong.”- DimensionOk3732
“NTA.”
“That woman is definitely jealous.”
“Your wife EXISTING in the same kind of bathing suit as everyone else and looking better in it is attention seeking?”
“Yeah, right.”
“What’s she supposed to do, wear a mumu to swim in?”- Ok-Faithlessness496
“NTA.”
“It’s been brought to my attention that ‘attention-wh*re’ isn’t literally calling someone a wh*re.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“It was still a horrible thing to say.”- seidinove
“Sounds like you’re better off than the other guy posting about his wife’s bikini at the party they went to.”
“So skimpy she had full butthole exposed and so small it kept coming untied.”
“I would have tossed that one out of my house for attention wh*ring and putting bare butthole on my patio furniture.”
“Sounds like they are jealous and your wife was respectful as could be.”
“It’s a pool party.”
“She wasn’t close to nude and shouldn’t be expected to wear a swimming burka, unless that’s your thing.”
“I honestly would have done the same thing.”
“It’s not like you will ever go back to the house or even hang around them again.”
“Let them know how much of an a**hole they really are.”
“That’s your duty as a husband.”
“It’s in your vows to protect her and they were the threat.”
“Fair play to you.”
“NTA.”- DovahChaser
“NTA.”
“You did what a husband is supposed to do.”- Ok-Kangaroo-5160
“NTA.”
“She has no place to comment on your wife’s optics, be they amazing or otherwise and it is your place to defend her.”- zerenato76
“I’m going to say NTA because if it was just a light hearted comment like when friends call each other ‘that b*tch’ etc then I would say it was a bit of an overreaction but as they had been consistently insulting your wife for 30 mins straight then clearly there was something unkind going on.”
“Possibly you could have been more tactful but the host brought it upon herself by acting like a jealous child and insulting someone in front of their friends and spouses.”- Herps15
“I mean, NTA.”
“I can’t think of one person in my life, regardless of how conservatively they generally dress, that I am shocked by seeing them in a bikini for the first time.”
“Even in oversized hoodies and sweats, you can generally tell when someone has a nice body.”
“This reads very…’She’s All That’.”
“’Oh my gosh, she’s gorgeous when she takes her glasses off’.”- GraveDancer40
“NTA.”
“Although being called an attention wh*re isn’t the same as being called a wh*re the bottom line is that they weren’t giving a compliment.”
“They were being rude.”
“You stood up for your partner as you should so no, if they wanted to talk sh*t they should’ve known to do it more discreetly.”
“F*ck those people don’t speak to them unless they apologize.”
“And as for the parents of their kids they should also be offended by the host serving as a terrible example on how to treat guests.”
“If they have a problem with your actions, screw them.”- ErikHyde
It’s hard not to think that the pool party host was most likely jealous of how good the OP’s wife looked in her bikini.
No matter the situation, jealousy often brings out the worst in us, and poor behavior often encourages poor behavior in others.
While it seems unlikely the OP and his wife will attend any more pool parties at this woman’s house, this host should think very carefully about the things she says about her guests, should she host another party any time soon.