For all the joy that comes with marriage, it is nonetheless a notable adjustment.
Sharing your life with someone else isn't always as easy as anyone thinks, particularly when you discover that your spouse's eating, cleaning, and sleeping habits don't fully align with your own.
However, those vows you made to share a life together were not made in jest, and with that in mind, it's important to compromise or find common ground when you and your spouse see differently.
Redditor throwawy365665 was surprised by her husband sharing his displeasure wiith a certain change to her regimen.
Even though this was a change the original poster (OP) made at the urging of her doctor.
Even so, the OP's husband was so put off by this, that he even expressed his discomfort in sharing their bed.
To which the OP felt she had the perfect solution.
Wondering if she had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for "forcing" my husband to sleep on the couch."
The OP explained why she wasn't willing to compromise with her husband's discomfort over a change he noticed in her feminine care.
"This conflict is pretty recent. I (29 F[emale]) used to use tampons for my periods but due to medical reasons couldn't do it anymore."
"Now I'm using pads which isn't that big of a deal but my husband disagrees."
"He firstly complained about me not 'consulting' him first but like I said it's not a huge deal like BC."
"He then said he doesn't feel comfortable with me sleeping in bed wearing pads."
"This threw me off hard because I wasn't expecting him to have an issue on that regard, but he said it just doesn't feel comfortable for him and he would like me to use tampons at nighttime or sleep somewhere else."
"I laughed him off and kept sleeping on the bed while wearing my pads like there was no issue."
"This made him so uncomfortable he basically took the couch then started complaining about how I forced him on the couch by making him uncomfortable after he already offered me compromises."
"But I told him he was being a drama queen because his compromises are illogical, I wouldn't stop using pads and free bleed on the bed nor risk my health and use tampons when the doctor advised again them."
"He's still upset with me even though I'm no longer on my period saying I owe him for making him uncomfortable and brushing off his complaints."
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole after her husband ended up sleeping on the sofa.
Everyone agreed that the OP in no way forced her husband onto the sofa, with nearly everyone horrified by his apathy toward his wife's condition, and a few even wondering if she should even stay in this marriage.
''He firstly complained about me not "consulting' him."
"Automatic NTA."
"This man is controlling, ignorant, and sexist as all hell."
"Buh bye."- eugenesnewdream
"What is his objection to pads?"
"I mean, NTA, but I'm honestly curious."
"Does he sleep with his hand in your cooch?"
"Have incredibly sensitive hearing?"- twiddlywerp
"NTA."
"Wow just wow."
"He needs to grow up."
"Please do not have kids with this man if this is how he treats periods."
"His attitude is disgusting."
"And you do NOT have to consult him on anything regarding your period products Wtaf that is super controlling."- big_dickslap
"NTA."
"Does your husband actually understand how pads are used?"
"Does he have an issue with blood in general?"
"This is so strange."
"Why on earth does he need to be 'consulted' about your medical issue and solution?"
"I think sometimes men have these weird reactions because they have a completely inaccurate understanding of how women's bodies and menstruation products work."- Kindly-Might-1879
"That man is choosing a really weird hill to die on."
"Your period is your business."
"Not his."
"If he doesn't like it he can sleep somewhere else."
"This is really off the wall behavior, watch for more things like this."
"Frankly, I'm a little worried for his mental health."
"NTA."- Lurker_the_Pip
"Lol NTA."
"How does a pad that you can't see through clothes, make someone uncomfortable."
"'You owe me' bahaha id just give him a tampon and tell him to shove it."
"But I'd also reconsider my relationship from this point."
"He sounds like a tool."-Boomgtd_
"NTA your husband is being creepy & controlling."- MadTom65
"Ok, this shows that he does not care about your health AT ALL."
"IT'S YOUR HEALTH! AND HE CLEARLY DOESN'T CARE!"
"If someone that's supposed to love me and carefor me do something like that."
"It would be the end of the relationship for me."
"It's not like you're rubbing bloody pads on his face."- tamires_ff
"NTA and I'm just gonna say it."
"If a man is too immature/ridiculous to handle periods then he needs to just stay single."- Marquis-Andras
"To quote Rachel Green on 'Friends' - 'No uterus, no opinion'."
"NTA."- NCGatorGirl429
"Has he put into words what exactly makes him uncomfortable?"
"Cause I'm baffled."
"He better never come near a woman who's just given birth."
"They basically give you a towel."- Spiritual_Lemonade
"There's nothing to f*cking compromise about or consult with him."
"It's YOUR body."
"NTA."- reyballesta
"NTA."
"Wtf."
"Why does he think he gets a right to tell you what menstrual products you should be using?"
"Also, wearing tampons at night is the riskiest to your health because you can't change them regularly while you're sleeping."
"That's like the first thing they teach about tampons."
"He needs to stop being a baby because the world has bigger problems than you taking your health into consideration over his apparent fear of periods."- Agitated_Extreme
"Ask him to explain what exactly about pads make him uncomfortable."
"Watch him get all red and flustered."-forestfairygremlin
"NTA."
"OMG your husband SUCKS."
"So I'm guessing he doesn't want kids either?"
"He knows how delivery works?"- LKN4DEETS
"So NTA but your husband sure is."
"I can't believe the garbage he's telling you."
"Has he always been this controlling and full of himself?"-DeepFudge9235
"NTA but whats makes him think he has a say in if you wear pads or tampons?"
"Like who told him his opinion matters in this situation?"
"That he even should have an opinion on something he knows nothing about amazes me."
"The audacity is all they bring to our lives."- thisb*tch420
"NTA."
"He should sleep on the couch if he has a problem with that."
"It's honestly ridiculous he has a problem with that at all."- Triplicated
"Go buy a new bed."
"In a new house, with a new husband."
"NTA."- oddessusss
"Just throw the whole man away and start over."-Comfortable-Taro-646
"NTA."
"How long have you been married?"
"Your husband totally lacks sympathy."
"His 'compromises' were 1) endanger your health or 2) sleep someplace else."
"Those are not compromises, they are ultimatums and go you for standing your ground."
"I would love to know why a pad makes him uncomfortable."
"Does he think you will change it in bed and I dunno, stick a used one to his head?"
"If he just can't stand the sight of blood, tell him not to look."
"Sweet baby pickles, he needs to grow up."- raceulfson
"NTA."
"Your husband's position is wildly chauvinist and offensive."
"His concern over his own stupid phobia about menstruation is more important to him than your health or comfort."
"He has absolutely no legitimate reason to care about this."
"He's lucky he sleeps well on couches; I see a lot of nights on a buddy's couch in his future."-TheMidnightHandyman
"NTA but time to find a new husband."
"It's your body you get to use whatever you want for your period!"- BeepBeepBoop108
"OP are you sure your husband is old enough to be married?"
"NTA."- cosmicpower23
"Maybe he could take a remedial biology course?"
"Or I could have my 14 year old explain some things to him?"
"NTA."
"PS: based on the title I was prepared to defend him, I'd like to apologize for jumping to conclusions."- 4cougs
"NTA."
"Take his a** to the gyno with you and enjoy your gyno reaming him for asking you to put your health at risk."- Spicy_Alien_Baby
"NTA."
"Your husbands trash."- Electronic-Town4306
"How sad that pads are uncomfortable for your husband."
"Drama queen doesn't cut it."
"NTA."- Dr_Lizz
"Ha ha ha, if you have kids JUST WAIT."
"You literally get the biggest of all pads and wear them for awhile after birth and you canmNOT just wear a tampon or anything."
"Also good luck free bleeding that crap because it smells TERRIBLE."
"The AUDACITY for HIM to be uncomfortable."- Intelligent_Motor_36
It is pretty worrisome how uncomfortable the OP's husband was with her changing from tampons to pads.
Particularly as it was her doctor who instructed the OP to do so.
One can only imagine that after a night or two sleeping on the sofa, the OP's husband might not find sharing a bed with her while she's wearing pads so "uncomfortable" anymore.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.