For all the joy that comes with marriage, it is nonetheless a notable adjustment.
Sharing your life with someone else isn’t always as easy as anyone thinks, particularly when you discover that your spouse’s eating, cleaning, and sleeping habits don’t fully align with your own.
However, those vows you made to share a life together were not made in jest, and with that in mind, it’s important to compromise or find common ground when you and your spouse see differently.
Redditor throwawy365665 was surprised by her husband sharing his displeasure wiith a certain change to her regimen.
Even though this was a change the original poster (OP) made at the urging of her doctor.
Even so, the OP’s husband was so put off by this, that he even expressed his discomfort in sharing their bed.
To which the OP felt she had the perfect solution.
Wondering if she had gone too far, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for “forcing” my husband to sleep on the couch.”
The OP explained why she wasn’t willing to compromise with her husband’s discomfort over a change he noticed in her feminine care.
“This conflict is pretty recent. I (29 F[emale]) used to use tampons for my periods but due to medical reasons couldn’t do it anymore.”
“Now I’m using pads which isn’t that big of a deal but my husband disagrees.”
“He firstly complained about me not ‘consulting’ him first but like I said it’s not a huge deal like BC.”
“He then said he doesn’t feel comfortable with me sleeping in bed wearing pads.”
“This threw me off hard because I wasn’t expecting him to have an issue on that regard, but he said it just doesn’t feel comfortable for him and he would like me to use tampons at nighttime or sleep somewhere else.”
“I laughed him off and kept sleeping on the bed while wearing my pads like there was no issue.”
“This made him so uncomfortable he basically took the couch then started complaining about how I forced him on the couch by making him uncomfortable after he already offered me compromises.”
“But I told him he was being a drama queen because his compromises are illogical, I wouldn’t stop using pads and free bleed on the bed nor risk my health and use tampons when the doctor advised again them.”
“He’s still upset with me even though I’m no longer on my period saying I owe him for making him uncomfortable and brushing off his complaints.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole after her husband ended up sleeping on the sofa.
Everyone agreed that the OP in no way forced her husband onto the sofa, with nearly everyone horrified by his apathy toward his wife’s condition, and a few even wondering if she should even stay in this marriage.
‘’He firstly complained about me not “consulting’ him.”
“Automatic NTA.”
“This man is controlling, ignorant, and sexist as all hell.”
“Buh bye.”- eugenesnewdream
“What is his objection to pads?”
“I mean, NTA, but I’m honestly curious.”
“Does he sleep with his hand in your cooch?”
“Have incredibly sensitive hearing?”- twiddlywerp
“NTA.”
“Wow just wow.”
“He needs to grow up.”
“Please do not have kids with this man if this is how he treats periods.”
“His attitude is disgusting.”
“And you do NOT have to consult him on anything regarding your period products Wtaf that is super controlling.”- big_dickslap
“NTA.”
“Does your husband actually understand how pads are used?”
“Does he have an issue with blood in general?”
“This is so strange.”
“Why on earth does he need to be ‘consulted’ about your medical issue and solution?”
“I think sometimes men have these weird reactions because they have a completely inaccurate understanding of how women’s bodies and menstruation products work.”- Kindly-Might-1879
“That man is choosing a really weird hill to die on.”
“Your period is your business.”
“Not his.”
“If he doesn’t like it he can sleep somewhere else.”
“This is really off the wall behavior, watch for more things like this.”
“Frankly, I’m a little worried for his mental health.”
“NTA.”- Lurker_the_Pip
“Lol NTA.”
“How does a pad that you can’t see through clothes, make someone uncomfortable.”
“’You owe me’ bahaha id just give him a tampon and tell him to shove it.”
“But I’d also reconsider my relationship from this point.”
“He sounds like a tool.”-Boomgtd_
“NTA your husband is being creepy & controlling.”- MadTom65
“Ok, this shows that he does not care about your health AT ALL.”
“IT’S YOUR HEALTH! AND HE CLEARLY DOESN’T CARE!”
“If someone that’s supposed to love me and carefor me do something like that.”
“It would be the end of the relationship for me.”
“It’s not like you’re rubbing bloody pads on his face.”- tamires_ff
“NTA and I’m just gonna say it.”
“If a man is too immature/ridiculous to handle periods then he needs to just stay single.”- Marquis-Andras
“To quote Rachel Green on ‘Friends’ – ‘No uterus, no opinion’.”
“NTA.”- NCGatorGirl429
“Has he put into words what exactly makes him uncomfortable?”
“Cause I’m baffled.”
“He better never come near a woman who’s just given birth.”
“They basically give you a towel.”- Spiritual_Lemonade
“There’s nothing to f*cking compromise about or consult with him.”
“It’s YOUR body.”
“NTA.”- reyballesta
“NTA.”
“Wtf.”
“Why does he think he gets a right to tell you what menstrual products you should be using?”
“Also, wearing tampons at night is the riskiest to your health because you can’t change them regularly while you’re sleeping.”
“That’s like the first thing they teach about tampons.”
“He needs to stop being a baby because the world has bigger problems than you taking your health into consideration over his apparent fear of periods.”- Agitated_Extreme
“Ask him to explain what exactly about pads make him uncomfortable.”
“Watch him get all red and flustered.”-forestfairygremlin
“NTA.”
“OMG your husband SUCKS.”
“So I’m guessing he doesn’t want kids either?”
“He knows how delivery works?”- LKN4DEETS
“So NTA but your husband sure is.”
“I can’t believe the garbage he’s telling you.”
“Has he always been this controlling and full of himself?”-DeepFudge9235
“NTA but whats makes him think he has a say in if you wear pads or tampons?”
“Like who told him his opinion matters in this situation?”
“That he even should have an opinion on something he knows nothing about amazes me.”
“The audacity is all they bring to our lives.”- thisb*tch420
“NTA.”
“He should sleep on the couch if he has a problem with that.”
“It’s honestly ridiculous he has a problem with that at all.”- Triplicated
“Go buy a new bed.”
“In a new house, with a new husband.”
“NTA.”- oddessusss
“Just throw the whole man away and start over.”-Comfortable-Taro-646
“NTA.”
“How long have you been married?”
“Your husband totally lacks sympathy.”
“His ‘compromises’ were 1) endanger your health or 2) sleep someplace else.”
“Those are not compromises, they are ultimatums and go you for standing your ground.”
“I would love to know why a pad makes him uncomfortable.”
“Does he think you will change it in bed and I dunno, stick a used one to his head?”
“If he just can’t stand the sight of blood, tell him not to look.”
“Sweet baby pickles, he needs to grow up.”- raceulfson
“NTA.”
“Your husband’s position is wildly chauvinist and offensive.”
“His concern over his own stupid phobia about menstruation is more important to him than your health or comfort.”
“He has absolutely no legitimate reason to care about this.”
“He’s lucky he sleeps well on couches; I see a lot of nights on a buddy’s couch in his future.”-TheMidnightHandyman
“NTA but time to find a new husband.”
“It’s your body you get to use whatever you want for your period!”- BeepBeepBoop108
“OP are you sure your husband is old enough to be married?”
“NTA.”- cosmicpower23
“Maybe he could take a remedial biology course?”
“Or I could have my 14 year old explain some things to him?”
“NTA.”
“PS: based on the title I was prepared to defend him, I’d like to apologize for jumping to conclusions.”- 4cougs
“NTA.”
“Take his a** to the gyno with you and enjoy your gyno reaming him for asking you to put your health at risk.”- Spicy_Alien_Baby
“NTA.”
“Your husbands trash.”- Electronic-Town4306
“How sad that pads are uncomfortable for your husband.”
“Drama queen doesn’t cut it.”
“NTA.”- Dr_Lizz
“Ha ha ha, if you have kids JUST WAIT.”
“You literally get the biggest of all pads and wear them for awhile after birth and you canmNOT just wear a tampon or anything.”
“Also good luck free bleeding that crap because it smells TERRIBLE.”
“The AUDACITY for HIM to be uncomfortable.”- Intelligent_Motor_36
It is pretty worrisome how uncomfortable the OP’s husband was with her changing from tampons to pads.
Particularly as it was her doctor who instructed the OP to do so.
One can only imagine that after a night or two sleeping on the sofa, the OP’s husband might not find sharing a bed with her while she’s wearing pads so “uncomfortable” anymore.