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Woman Calls Out ‘Mean Girl’ Clique In Her Knitting Group For Violating Her Rules On Snobbish Behavior

Is calling out someone’s toxic behavior ever a bad idea? It can obviously be uncomfortable and can cause some repercussions, but does it ever make you the bad guy?

Reddit user “knitonepurltwos” asked

“Am I the a**hole for directly calling out a woman’s snobbish behavior, causing several people to leave our knitting group?”

Before we get into the story, let’s talk about how the AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”) subReddit works. It’s a sort of sounding board for those moments when maybe you were the bad guy, maybe not.

People post their situations, include relevant details and explain their side. Other users respond to the original poster (“OP”) in the comments, sharing their thoughts and casting votes.

Voting options are:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

Yeah, we’re going in on knitting drama today, friends. 

“So one thing I can’t stand is snobby people who act like the only way to do things is their way. It’s a huge thing in crafting groups.”

“People act high and mighty because of how they learned, the yarn they use, knitting being better than crocheting, etc.. etc…”

“I hated the energy in a lot of existing groups, so I started my own.”

“We switched to virtual stuff since the pandemic started, and I have rules that you have to agree to follow before you can join. One of the rules is to be kind to others, and absolutely NO ‘snob’ behavior.”

“Everything has been going great, except this pre-existing group of friends joined, and they really push the boundaries of the aforementioned rule. They started dipping their toe with comments about acrylic yarn and how they would NEVER use it, with dramatic ‘icky!’ faces.”

“Well, they did this again when a new girl joined the group. She was using an acrylic yarn in her project, one of the women asked her what she was using, and then the little clique acted like they weren’t directly remarking while obviously doing it?”

“(This is kind of hard to explain but if you’ve EVER had to deal with mean girls, you know what I’m talking about)”

“It was like ‘I just don’t understand how people are STILL using acrylic yarn these days, I mean there are SO many other options… unless you’re still shopping at big box stores instead of indies’.”

“In the middle of that rant I was just like ‘Hey guys, let’s remember that we’re not here to judge anyone for what they’re using or how they’re using it, okay?’”

“Well this pissed off the group, because they started arguing with me about how ‘Nobody was judging anyone’.”

“And ‘Oh so I can’t even have an opinion now?’”

“And ‘Why are you trying to censor us? We’re having a conversation. If someone doesn’t like it, they can leave’.”

“I muted everyone and said something like ‘The rules for this group are very clear, and you have to acknowledge them before you join the call. If there’s an issue, we can talk about it after’.”

“The women all ended up leaving the group, and I got a bunch of nasty emails and tags on a few social media posts ‘calling me out’ for being ‘pro-censorship’ and ‘a tyrant’ and saying how I shouldn’t be in charge of anything because of how ‘obviously biased’ I am.”

“I don’t think I’m in the wrong for this.”

“My rules exist to make things welcoming for others. Sitting around putting down other people does NOT feel like it’s very welcoming, especially for snobby crap like they were doing.”

“AITA?”

Reddit was absolutely not here for crafters creating chaos. 

“NTA. Your group; your rules.”

“They want a ‘traditional materials only’ knitting circle, they can start their own. Besides, why is it okay for them to say whatever they want, but not for people to use whatever they want?” – mm172

“NTA. It’s a bit like the free speech people who whine about cancel culture.”

” ‘I cAn SaY wHaTeVeR i WaNt It’S a FrEe CoUnTrY!!!’ “

“People don’t realize that while everyone is entitled to their opinion, nobody is obligated to accept those opinions.”

“Other people are also perfectly free to call you out, stop patronizing your business, stop buying your product, stop allowing you in their group etc.” – predatorandprey

“NTA”

“I’m a crocheter and yarn snobs are *the absolute f-ing worst.*”

“I don’t care if somebody else only uses yarn made from the naturally shed a$$ hairs of freerange sasquatches, so leave me alone about using acrylic.”

“I know exactly the kind of comments you’re talking about because I’ve seen them before on certain yarncraft sites which shall remain unnamed but start with an R.”

” ‘Gosh, you know acrylic never quite looks as good as natural fiber, but if that’s all you have to work with…’ “

“They were being snobby and they knew it, they’re just upset they were called out for their mean girl bull.”

“There’s a difference between ‘Well, I personally don’t really like acrylic and probably wouldn’t use it’ and ‘OMG I have no idea why anybody is still using that trash.’ ”

“It’s your group, you get to enforce the rules as you see fit, and they can either follow them or find another group where they’re free to shit on acrylic and its users all day, as they seem to want to.” – Shadow-Spark

“I’m a knitter with a personal aversion to acrylic yarn, and I strongly feel you’re NTA.”

“It’s a bummer when mean-spirited people barge into what is supposed to be a welcoming and wholesome space.”

“People who don’t like acrylic yarn shouldn’t use acrylic yarn, and that’s the end of it; there’s no reason to subtweet someone else in the group minding their own business for having a different preference.”

“If nothing else, the last few years have taught us that functioning civil online spaces absolutely require proactive, reasonable moderation to flourish.” – JewelledBox

“So much NTA.”

“I’m allergic to all wool, to the point where my hands look like giant red marshmallows if I try to crochet with it. The last time I used it, I had to wear rubber gloves whenever I touched it.”

“If I want to have that soft, fluffy feel, then I need to use acrylic. And that’s just one super uncommon reason people use acrylic over natural fibers. That’s not getting into price point or washability.”

“People who try to shame for yarn type are awful. Use whatever yarn works best for you and shut the heck up if all you’re going to do is criticize other people.” – nannerdoodle

“NTA you are obviously biased. Biased against classist middle school mean girls!”

“So you have my thanks for enforcing your own group rules, too many people who run these groups are too timid for the job and it ends up pushing new and thrifty crafters away” – FrescoInkWash

“NTA, they were bullying.”

“I’m a knitter myself, and yeah anyone who thinks acrylic should never be used is just a snob. I rarely use it myself, but I respect the fact it’s durable, easy to find and inexpensive.”

“But that’s typically why people bad mouth it. They think that because their yarn is harder to find and more expensive that makes their finished projects automatically better. Not true at all.”

“If they want to shame acrylic they can join another group. Crafting is very personal, and shaming others for their materials is never ok.” – sighcantthinkofaname

“NTA. Your group, your rules. You weren’t rude when telling them to stop. If they don’t like it, they should go start their own group and be negative people on their own.” – Kpz93

“NTA. I freaking DETEST yarn snobs with a fiery passion!”

“Good for you for shutting down the blatant classism.”

“People like this remind me of that Dr. Seuss story about the star-bellied sneeches. They’re desperate for a way to proclaim themselves better than others, and frankly it’s pathetic.” – valerian_spiel 

“NTA”

“As someone who knits AND crochets, I know the type of people you’re referring to and they chap my hide.”

“I can’t count the number of times I’ve gotten comments about acrylic yarn and shopping in Hobby Lobby instead of ‘supporting indie dyers’.”

“You made the group. You made the rules. They agreed to the rules and tried to bend and break them.”

“If they don’t like it, they can make their own mean girls knitting group.” – FervidusThespus

So … Reddit clearly can’t handle a yarn snob either.

No classism in crafting folks.

Written by Erica Diaz

Erica is the consummate cool-kid. She’s so cool that she’s been talked about in magazines, on blogs and on the radio after losing her left eye because of a piece of glitter. She is still actively mourning the passing of Prince and hopes to one day do an all-iguana remake of Graffiti Bridge since iguanas are plentiful near her home in South Florida. She has yet to find one that can really nail the “ahhhyayayeaheaheah” that Tevin Campbell does in Round and Round, and everyone knows the music is the important part of any Prince film. She’s a mother, singer, writer and (if the internet is to be believed - which we all know it is) a Nigerian socialite mid-ranking member of the Illuminati. She prides herself on being the most popular one-eyed rock star under 5 ft tall in pretty much any room she walks into.