As a result of the global pandemic, more people are working from home than ever before.
And while there are many advantages which come with working from home, there also come many challenges.
The husband of Redditor Hitch-Hiker3467 discovered one such challenge after being promoted and thought he found an easy solution to it.
But the original poster (OP) thought otherwise.
Concerned she may not have handled the situation as well as she could have, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to leave the apartment with the baby every time my husband has a zoom meeting?”
The OP first filled in fellow Redditors on the changes in her and her husband’s professional and personal lives which occurred over the last year.
“This is an ongoing conflict that I’m dealing with right now.”
“I used to be a blogger but stopped and became a sahm (Stay at home mom) when my 7 months old son was born.”
“My husband started working from home right after he got promoted as a team leader in his department.”
“He takes his new position seriously and his meetings require complete silence as he said it’d be incredibly unprofessional for his team to hear any noise of any sort but the problem is: with a 7 months old in the apartment complete silence is almost impossible to achieve.”
The OP then revealed her husband’s solution, which she didn’t seem to think solved anything and in-fact only added more problems.
“He came up with a suggestion for me to take my son and leave the entire apartment whenever he has a meeting to which I replied that it was illogical and suggested he either takes the bedroom or the other room and shut the door.”
“But he explained that our son’s crying or any other noise he makes get through every wall and again it’d be unprofessional for his team to hear baby crying in the background like he was streaming the meeting from some day care and insisted this is the pefect solution.”
“But I said no and told him he was being unreasonable to expect me to just up and go with the baby every time he has a 5 hour long zoom meeting which can happen twice in one day and be gone til he gives me the green light to return home.”
“I made him pissed and it escalated to him shouting ‘COOPERATION AND RESPECT is what you should be offering right now’.”
“I argued that if roles were reversed I’d never make such ridiculous requests and he said ‘great then why don’t you go back to work and bring actual earnings instead of some social media likes…YOU! BIG! BLOGGER!’.”
“That really hurt a lot.”
“He then proceeded to call me stubborn and selfish trying to sabotage his new position out of pure jealousy and nothing more.”
“I consulted my friends and they were divided.”
“One of them said this is my apartment too and shouldn’t be expected to leave and the other said I should comply and do whatever I can to support my husband so he could support me and my son.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation.
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Fellow Reddiors were unanimous in agreeing the OP was not the a**hole by refusing to leave the house every time her husband had a meeting.
Just about everyone agreed the request by the OP’s husband was completely unreasonable as he was asking them to leave their own home for hours on end.
“NTA…This is a HOME. He is working from HOME. “
“You are not living from office.”
“The wellbeing of you and your son should be his first concern.”- RoyallyOakie
Others pointed out how distractions, particularly from children, have grown to be almost expected during zoom meetings as a result of the pandemic.
“NTA. If you’re working from home, especially in our post-pandemic world, hearing noises from home background is normal.”
“It sounds like your husband should either mute his mic, or locate to another room.”
“It’s absurd to think you need to vacate your own home.”
“I think your husband needs to treat you with ‘COOPERATION AND RESPECT’.”
“Edit: also, please seek couples therapy.”
“Your husband clearly has some anger issues and looks down on you for his perception of you as a ‘non-contributor’ to family income.”- Expat_89.
Many were also surprised, if not disturbed, by the behavior of the OP’s husband, with some even going so far as to encourage the OP to re-examine how healthy her marriage is.
“NTA, the nerve of this guy to scream in your face about ‘respect’.”
“He could so easily tell his coworkers ‘Hey, we have a young baby in the house with us so apologies for any noises you might hear!’ and I guarantee they’d be fine about it.”
“Instead he’s chosen to be a ridiculous nasty little diva about it.”- invomitous-rexNTA.
“That’s absurd.”
“If he wants silence, he can go somewhere else.”
“Also disrespecting what you do is a big red flag.”- Asitiaaa
“FIRM NTA-“
“I’M SORRY, this man is expecting you to leave the apartment entirely, with a 7MO, for possibly ‘a 5 hour long zoom meeting which can happen twice in one day’, 10+ HOURS A DAY, EVERYDAY?!?!?! ”
“He obviously expects you to respect him/his work over you/your work/the baby/ect. which is just so unreasonable I can’t believe he managed to make you feel guilty over his absolutely absurd request.”
“HE needs to be the one to leave!”
“Go rent a quiet room at a library, or get an office, or hell go to his parents house if it’s so important to him to be IN A COMPLETELY SILENT ENVIRONMENT!”
“‘Cooperation and respect’ How about you eat a bag of ickdays.”
“I’m so sorry he is such an inconsiderate jerk.”- ZealousidealMix9383
“NTA.”
“This is your families home, not a work place.”
“Working from home does not mean he is restricted to working from his actual home.”
“If he requires complete silence then Im sure he can go and find that elsewhere for the duration of these meetings.”
“Your husbands request is ridiculous.” -Dont-trust-it.
While one can only admire anyone who wants to provide for their family, the OP’s husband’s priorities seem to need some sorting out.
Here’s hoping, for the sake of their child, they can reach a solution which works for both of them.