Kids can same some very surprising things.
When they're younger it's a laugh riot.
But once you reach a certain age, some language and thoughts aren't so funny anymore.
Case in point...
Redditor throwaway__r0 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
"AITA for not buying my daughter concert tickets?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My 16 year old daughter Riley really does not like one of her teachers, Ms A."
"This was a bit surprising to me as the teacher has a very good reputation and has helped out so many kids in bad situations and is just a generally nice person."
"But my daughter HATES her."
"She’ll rant about how annoying she is for ages but she’s never given an actual reason."
"I tell her that she’s allowed to rant and all that but don’t say these things to her face and try not to go too far either."
"I hated some teachers during my childhood that I now respect/understand so I really didn’t think it was a major issue."
"Well, I got a call from Riley while she was at school and she was begging me to pick her up."
"I arrived immediately but she refused to tell me what happened."
"She did crack eventually though."
"She told me that Ms. A was having a conversation with another student."
"And she mentioned one of her sons names."
"So Riley quickly looked them up on social media and went up to her teacher and asked if he was her son."
"Ms A said yes (hesitantly apparently) and then Riley started laughing and said some really mean things about her son."
"To be specific, she called him anorexic and skeleton-like."
"Turns out, the boy did have anorexia."
"Ms A got really upset and asked her to please work in the library for the remainder of the period."
"I was horrified."
"And it was clear that my daughter was feeling apologetic but Jesus Ch**st?"
"This was insanely disrespectful."
"I told Riley that she was grounded and that she needed to apologize to Ms A immediately."
"I then told her that I wouldn’t be buying her concert tickets."
"She got really upset and was all like 'how was I supposed to know?"
"But that just makes me more upset because it would still be wrong even if he wasn’t anorexic."
"She cried and cried about the concert and called me really mean."
"My husband thinks the grounding is fine but the concert tickets is overdoing it."
"He thinks that it probably isn’t a huge deal because Ms A just sent Riley to the library."
"And didn’t send her to the office or anything and I’m 'doing too much.'"
"I don't know if it matters but I had anorexia when I was younger so I might be reacting emotionally."
"Or at least my husband (and daughter) says so."
"I don't know, AITA?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let's hear some thoughts...
"NTA. She made the comments with the intent to be hurtful."
"The fact that one was close to the truth is moot." ~ TinyRascalSaurus
"Not only that, she almost certainly looked up Ms. A's son on social media with the express purpose of saying something hurtful to/about him."
"That's just so incredibly mean, it demands a strong response. NTA." ~ flooperdooper4
"I was surprised by the husband's response about the teacher not making it into a big deal when she literally sent the girl away to get space and not deal with her nasty personality."
"Kids can be jerks and daughter was 100% awful."
"OP you are doing great and right to be angry or upset."
"You are not overreacting or reacting emotionally."
"Many people wouldn’t be pleased if their child pulled a stunt like this and would do the same in your shoes." ~ AtDawnsEnd502
"I used to be a teacher and, first hand, kids can be very cruel."
"The teacher was kind to her - she could have reprimanded her further and been absolutely right to."
"I appreciate seeing a parent who is taking this seriously."
"A teacher works harder than you see on the surface, and it's exhausting mentally, physically, and emotional at times."
"Imagine going through a tough time, still managing to plan, prepare, present a lesson, and engage students, just for someone and put you down."
"No one should feel like that." ~ OurOwnDust
"Exactly and it sounds like your daughter is a little bully. How cruel to make fun of someone’s looks male or female."
"She was definitely trying to get back at a teacher she wasn’t happy with."
"You are doing the right thing and this strong punishment will help her understand that making fun and laughing at someone is wrong. NTA." ~ CharmingComposer95
"The daughter went out of the way to make fun of the kid."
"It does not matter if she knew or didn't know that the kid had anorexia, just like it doesn't matter if the kid had anorexia or not."
"She literally made fun of somebody with the intention of hurting the person."
"That makes the child an AH."
"And anyone making excuses for her actions is also an AH." ~ Msp1278
"I had to look up her age again."
"I thought she was 12 or 13, ages that were my prime ahole years, but she’s 16. 16!"
"She knows better, and was a bully plain and simple."
"NTA, mom is teaching her words hurt and behavior has consequences." ~ saurons-cataract
"Intention doesn’t matter, impact does - doesn’t matter if she didn’t know about his condition."
"And let’s be honest, she was trying to be malicious when she pulled that kid’s picture up to make fun of him."
"And that fact that the teacher only asked her to work in the library is a reflection of her maturity and restraint, not that it wasn’t a big deal."
"NTA. She doesn’t deserve a concert." ~ SightMiner333
"And she looked him up after overhearing the teacher talk about him to a different student."
"What on earth is this kid's problem with this particular teacher?"
"Because this whole thing is a level of malicious that I can't wrap my head around."
"OP is NTA, and her husband needs to get in the same page or get out of the way."
"This behavior cannot be ignored." ~ EducatedOwlAthena
"OP made the right call. NTA."
"But it sounds like your daughter is a bully and could use some behavioral therapy."
"And a short leash for a while while she learns some empathy skills."
"Keep an eye on her friends and limit her contact with the ones who may be rewarding this behavior." ~ AccousticMotorboat
"NTA - as long as you don't back off, OP."
"You've raised an entitled mean girl."
"Please get her back on track."
"She intentionally harmed someone regardless of whether she knew it would be extra harmful."
"She's literally bullying adults because she's not worried about any serious repercussions."
"She should be earning privileges like tickets not just expecting them."
"You need to get your spouse on the same page or he will undermine you." ~ Sorcia_Lawson
"NTA, fortunately your daughter has time to learn, but your husband?"
"Does he really think it isn't a big deal because Riley was only sent to the library?" ~ unpopularcryptonite
"NTA. Omg, please nip this in the bud and enforce the no concert tickets as punishment."
"Your daughter is boldly and sociopathically bullying her teacher."
"Get her a counselor asap to get to the root of why she is doing something so inexplicably cruel." ~ Puzzleheaded-Big1680
"NTA. The fact that the teacher only sent her to the library shows what a decent person she is."
"Your daughter had no right to infringe on her privacy like that, let alone confront her over it."
"Insanely disrespectful is an understatement." ~blucougar57
"OP's daughter needs to think about the consequence of her actions."
"If she comes up against a teacher or anyone in life who holds the keys to her graduation or next step in their education, career, pursuit of interests and they continue to be sent away therefore missing time or being kicked out then they will have big personal consequences and it will hurt them more than missing a concert."
"OP won't always be there like they were today to pick them up from school."
"I my opinion they are doing their child a disservice by doing that."
"If they missed other classes this puts them behind in those because of their actions."
"The teacher AND the other students do not need or deserve this in the classroom."
"That classroom is the teacher's workspace and they are there all day."
"That space and their family was disrespected and violated by OP's child."
"I wouldn't have them back." ~ BabeWhatsMyUsername
Well OP, Reddit seems to agree with your actions.
Maybe it would be a good idea to sit the husband down and read through all of this.
And then perhaps seek help outside of the home.
Good luck.
Expectant Dad Of Two Livid After Brother Questions Why He'd Bring Another Kid Into Bleak World
It's no secret that a lot of people are struggling right now, from the cost of living to job insecurity to food insecurity to poor housing. But that doesn't mean we have to stop living.
For many people, that means still starting and growing their families, while planning how to navigate the world we're currently in, pointed out the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor DesignerOwn1141 and his wife knew that the world around them wasn't at its best right now, but they were eager to grow their family and were excited to bring a third child into the world.
When they announced their pregnancy, his brother's first reaction was to send him articles about how the world was doomed and shame him for bringing a child into it; the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he needed to block his own brother.
He asked the sub:
The OP and his wife were excited to welcome a third child into their family.
"I am 33 and male. My wife is 29."
"We have two sons, a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old boy. Both are happy, healthy, and well taken care of."
"We love being parents to them, and I work very hard to provide a good life for my family."
"My wife is four months pregnant with our third."
The OP's brother's life was very different from his.
"My younger brother has been something of a failure-to-launch case."
"Despite having every advantage, he never got good grades in school, was addicted to 'League of Legends' so severely that he barely scraped by, and spends his days streaming games to nearly no viewers on Twitch."
"I've watched his stream a few times, but he just rages constantly."
"My wife is too classy to ever say so, but I can tell he makes her uncomfortable."
"He's my brother, so I've long wanted to believe he's just bad at communicating with people, but to be frank, he's sort of just an a**hole. He's unapologetic whenever he says something hurtful and more likely to just double down and say, 'No cap.'"
"But if anyone so much as challenges his views, he throws a huge fit."
The OP tried to share his happy news with his brother, but his brother immediately squandered it.
"Recently, we announced she was pregnant with our third child. It's a joyous occasion for us because we wanted three children, and our other two sons are excited about having another brother or sister."
"When I texted my brother the news, he immediately said he couldn't imagine having children with the world the way it was."
"I asked what he meant, and he started sending me these articles about global warming, the plague in Russia, wars around the world, and so on."
"He seems convinced that the world is going to end in ten years tops, and that I'm only bringing up another child to die in the 'water wars.'"
"I was honestly disgusted with him. To tell someone that their unborn child is going to die, that their other children are going to die, is absolutely abhorrent behavior."
"But since he's always been a sensitive s**thead, I just said, 'Whatever, man,' and stopped reading his texts."
"He wouldn't stop. He kept sending me every doomer article. He said that when the clouds evaporate, the earth is going to get 15 degrees hotter. He said that AI is going to hack every government database. He said that China is going to invade Taiwan, and then it'll be war with the US and allies against Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran."
The OP had had enough of his brother's negative feedback.
"Finally, I just told him I was blocking him and thought little of the decision."
"He went and cried to our parents (again, he's the most sensitive s**tbag in the world), and they told me what I did was over the top."
"I know that if I unblock him, he's just going to doomspam me again."
"Am I wrong for just straight-up saying I never want him in my life again?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that they understood why he felt the need to distance himself from his brother.
"NOR. He sounds insufferable."
"He sounds like one of those people who doesn't like his life and so wants everyone else to be miserable too, or makes excuses for why he didn't do more with his life by blaming his problems on some external crisis." - savingrain
"NOR. He's allowed to protect his peace, especially if his brother keeps ignoring boundaries and turning every conversation into another end-of-the-world prediction, and having kids is hardly a reason to apologize for trying to build a good life despite everything going on." - Upper-Cloud9097
"NOR. But your brother is on his way to a full mental breakdown. Send him back cute dog and cat videos. Cute horse videos. Ozzy animal voiceovers."
"Eventually his phone will start thinking he's like me and his feed will calm down." - Present_Original_797
"I mean, my beliefs and thoughts about the future are along the same lines as him, and that’s why I’m an anti-natalist, but there’s something called tact. And personal choice/autonomy."
"If someone chooses to have kids, that’s their choice, and I’d keep my opinions to myself and be supportive, especially if they’re a family member. Spreading doomer content is extremely insensitive and rude. NOR." - EngineerGold4242
"NOR: I wonder whether your brother is displaying sibling jealousy towards you and your family; he recognizes his own shortcomings and can see where he is in life compared to you, and that is his major issue."
"Days filled with unfulfilling computer games and doomspamming others, he has a lot of maturing to do. Block him until or unless he decides to join the adult world and be the uncle he is supposed to be." - iron_redditman
"NOR. I have all those fears and as such actively avoid news about them. I skipped whole paragraphs here for that reason too, lol."
"I’d definitely block my sibling or anybody else who did that to me. I already know all these things; I don’t need constant reminders. All I can do is work on improving my little corner of the world and trudge forward."
"Anyway, protect your peace." - hahagato
"You are not obligated to bond with someone just because you share blood. It’s your peace and your family that you need to protect now. If you decide to go zero contact, it’s perfectly okay!"
"Especially because you and your wife are in charge of two, almost three, little guys, and your mental peace affect directly to them."
"PS. Historically, the world has always been on the edge, but nothing stops us to be what we are, humans trying to get over all the s**t! So don’t let those bad things put you down. We can build a better world by raising kind, lovely people, and it seems you and your wife are doing it. Good luck!" - Camigatoespinace92
Others advised the OP to involve his parents in case they could help his brother.
"Unblock him and then send everything he texts you to both mom and dad. No comments, just forward it."
"They'll think you're sending it, and when they complain, you can tell them that you thought they'd be interested in your brother's articles as well."
"NOR." - No_Address687
"NOR. Your parents don't know the half of it. Forward everything and let them read it for themselves." - Available_Agent3305
"NOR. I’d keep him blocked; your parents are wrong. If you want to be petty, start sending your parents article after article of stuff you know they won’t like. They will get the hint soon enough." - OldieButNotMoldy
"I would also go low contact with the OP's parents. OP is clearly NOT the favorite son. Any boundaries he put up with his brother will be considered wrong. NOR." - Interesting_Novel997
"NOR, but also my first reaction is that your brother isn't a 'sensitive s**tbag,' he is struggling with anxiety/depression and maybe undiagnosed neurodivergence and is drowning in his own ruminations. None of that makes this an appropriate response to a pregnancy announcement; it's clearly not. But he sounds like someone who is clearly struggling here."
"If it were me, I'd be sending your parents anything he previously sent you. If they share your concern after reading a few articles, maybe they'll take steps to help him." - 2kidsnomoney---
"NOR. I'm sorry to say this, OP, but your brother has not been socialized normally. He is a chronically online loser who thinks he can do and say whatever he wants and does not understand there are no consequences because there are often no consequences when he does it in a league match or online."
"It frankly sounds like your concern for him and his future is budding into resentment and contempt, and I feel like, as most brothers would, those are not the feelings you want to hold towards him."
"I have a brother like this. He was diagnosed as an adult with Asperger’s and now just a spectrum autism diagnosis, but he’s a real a**."
"You may have to unblock him to communicate fairly. It may be worth doing this in person because it’s easier for the chronically online to 'craft' their retort rather than be a part of a conversation."
"Before you can do that, though, you need to sit down with your parents. You need to explain and be able to articulate that:"
"1. His reaction to the wonderful news of you having another child crossed the line and was inappropriate."
"2. There need to be reasonable consequences or boundaries because you are no longer willing to put up with that."
"3. It is his call at this point whether or not he wants to be in your life and your children’s lives."
"You have to have their buy-in; otherwise they are just going to continue to coddle and enable this behavior."
"Then you need to sit down with him and your parents, intervention style. You need to present the same argument you did to your parents, and in all honestly, I would question him in return: what was he hoping would have been the outcome of that conversation?"
"Did he want you to say he’s so right, so smart? Did he want you to go to your wife and tell her to abort? Does he feel like he is in a place in his life where he can be your family planner and manager? When he crosses a line, what does he feel should happen?"
"Only when he is directly confronted, and you have the right supports in place, can he be presented with how his behavior affected you and what that could possibly mean for his relationship with you and your growing family." - allison_mossie
The subreddit understood feeling burdened by so much negative information during what should be a happy time of planning and anticipating a new addition to the family, but the OP needed time to think about what he wanted his larger family dynamic to look like.
That might mean removing his brother, so that the OP could protect his own, and by extension, his wife's and children's, mental health, but it might mean minimizing contact with other people, too, if they weren't willing to respect the OP's boundaries he had for his family's life.