Working non-standard hours can be difficult. Even if your body can adapt to the different schedule, the rest of society doesn’t really make it easy.
Redditor shankdia works overnight, and tries her best to be quiet when she gets home in the early morning. But this isn’t enough for the original poster (OP)’s neighbor.
Is OP being too loud when she gets home at 3:00 AM? To find out, she asks the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
“AITA for showering in the middle of the night?”
Her situation is pretty simple:
“I (24F) work overnights in a warehouse. I have certain shifts where I am coming home at 3:00AM.”
“I am always careful of the noise volume I make, as I live in an apartment with a roommate. I don’t make food or use the microwave, just eat cold leftovers or basic foods that require no prep when I get home.”
“Roommate knew I worked nights when we rented together. Although she does complain the shower wakes her up sometimes, she understands why I am showering so late.”
“Warehouse work is physical labor and I am often dusty and sweat at the end of my shift, so I must shower before I get in bed.”
“However, next door neighbor, is always mad. Leaves notes, complains to management.”
“Manager has said that showering isn’t excessive noise so it’s ok but I feel bad because he always complains he is woken up and works early. AITA?”
On the AITA board, people ask to be judged for their actions. They explain their situation, how they responded and ask what a bunch of strangers on the internet thing.
This is determined with one of the following comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP does her best to be quiet, but she’s allowed to take a shower when she gets home. If the neighbor has an issue, the comments reasoned he should get ear plugs or something.
OP is NTA for just showering when she gets home from work.
“NTA- we have all had that neighbour. If your plumbing is loud enough to wake someone in an adjacent unit, either it’s the pipeworks from hell or they would be woken by a mouse fart.”
“You’re doing what you can to minimise noise. You work late. You aren’t up here partying, you’re washing the day’s filth off of you so you can sleep.”
“Your neighbor needs a new hobby, some therapy, and a good set of ear plugs.” – CatteHerder
“NTA. Some people should live on farms, a thousand feet from their nearest neighbors. If hearing water run is something you can’t tolerate, don’t live in an apartment building.”
“If the property manager says it’s okay, then you needn’t worry about it.” – Weskit
“NTA, and instead of leaving petty notes and complaining to everyone else, maybe your neighbour should try having a conversation with you? So you can explain the situation.”
“No way should you have to go to bed filthy. For sh**s and giggles, try leaving notes on their door when they’re going through their morning routine saying that they’re too loud and waking you up.” – Dammit_Janet5
“I haven’t spoken to him in person because we have different schedules but we’ve talked through roommate and manager so he knows I work night.” – shankdia (OP)
“He just needs to lump it then. Your routine bothers him, his routine most likely bothers you too.”
“You can’t help that you work different shifts, and living in an apartment, you’re going to hear more than you want to sometimes. Good luck!” – Dammit_Janet5
Other commenters shared their own stories, either of bad neighbors or of difficult jobs that make it so you have to shower.
OP’s actions are beyond justifiable.
“NTA. Last apartment I lived in, the neighbor’s shower was adjacent to my living room. It sounded like they were in my living room when they turned it on.”
“So I talked to management and they looked at it and said, it’s an older building and sorry it’s loud. And then I went on with my life because it was no one’s fault.”
“Your neighbor needs ear plugs or a white noise machine if they’re that light of a sleeper.” – benji950
“The apt I live in right now has the thinnest walls… or just the loudest neighbors. I can’t stand my current neighbors. They’re always screaming, and they also shower super late at night which is more annoying than actually disturbing my sleep.”
“I’m still not an a**hole to any of them and greet them like any normal human would because this is just what you have to deal with living in an apartment.”
“OP is NTA and frankly shouldn’t give a sh** about the microwave or showering ffs.” – SpaceGoat88
“NTA – a**hole neighbor will be a**hole neighbors. No matter what you do or do not do.”
“Our (former) upstairs neighbors moved in, knowing we have a non verbal special needs son and a newborn.”
“Guess who complained about kids crying/whining at night? Whilst our son had an ear infection and the baby getting teeth?” – Schlumpfine25
“I used to work in an air compressor factory and after a 12 hour shift grinding down metal parts, getting covered in oil from old compressors coming back into the factory and metal sand shavings, I was covered in filth.”
“I kept a towel on my seat so I wouldn’t mess up the leather on the way home. I also worked at a teardown facility where we got old truck parts and scrapped what was busted and salvaged what we could.”
“I would be covered in soot and dirt and grime when I went home. The facility even had a shower for the days when it got really bad.”
“So I get that you NEED, 100% NEED to get clean before you go to bed. When your tub has black water running into the drain, it’s serious.”
“So your neighbor needs to call the Super about fixing your pipes, or get some sleep headphones because it’s a shower that you need. He can get over it. NTA OP.” – GI-JUGG
There isn’t much OP can do for her neighbor that isn’t going massively out of her way. The neighbor should maybe look into his options to make things a little quieter for him.