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New Mom Leaves Sister’s ‘Child-Free’ Wedding After Discovering Only Her Baby Was Excluded

Woman holding baby daughter
Vera Livchak/Getty Images

When there’s a special event, the first people we think about inviting are the people we love most.

But when we aren’t invited or it doesn’t matter if we don’t attend, sometimes we realize the love we felt wasn’t reciprocated, though we might not know why, reflected the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.

When Redditor New-Pea-3721 arrived at her sister’s wedding, she discovered her sister had lied about her wedding being child-free as a way to stop her from bringing her baby.

The Original Poster (OP) was shocked when she claimed that she had closer family to consider than her sister and niece.

She asked the sub:

“AITA for leaving my sister’s wedding?”

The OP respected her sister’s decision to host a child-free wedding day.

“I (24 Female) and my sister (26 Female) have never been crazy close, but we get on well.”

“I found out I was pregnant with my daughter (unplanned) about a year after she announced she was engaged.”

“At the time the invitations were sent out, my daughter wasn’t born, but she would have been at the time of the wedding, so I called my sister and asked what the rules were in regard to children.”

“She said it was child-free.”

“I made arrangements for someone to have the baby on the day of the wedding, and thought no more of it.”

But then the OP discovered the truth about her sister’s wedding.

“My daughter was four months old by the time the wedding day came.”

“My sister had met her once and that was only because I went down to see her (I live 100 miles away).”

“We got to the wedding, and turns out, it was not child-free. It was not even baby-free.”

“This broke my heart, and I was so angry, so I just left the wedding and went and picked up my child, and drove back home.”

The OP’s sister confronted her about her decision to leave the wedding.

“Two weeks later, my sister called me and asked why my husband and I left.”

“When I told her, she kicked off, saying it wasn’t personal that my daughter wasn’t invited. The other babies were invited as they were her family.”

“I just told her that her niece is also her family and hung up.”

The OP shared details about how her sister treated her during her pregnancy.

“I have no idea why she would say that about my daughter. We’ve never had any arguments, fights, or anything of the sort.”

“It all changed as soon as I told her I was pregnant. It was like she didn’t want to know me anymore.”

“For some additional context, I was extremely unwell my entire pregnancy and almost died giving birth. Not once did my sister ask how we were, not even when the baby was born (not even a text to say congratulations).”

She also shared details about her relationship with her mother and sister.

“Also, my mother and my sister haven’t spoken in years. The argument my mother and my sister had had absolutely nothing to do with me, though.”

“When my sister got engaged, she told our mother she didn’t want to put her down as the mother of the bride. She wanted to put her landlady down instead.”

“My sister and her landlord are very close, and she is a wonderful woman, but my sister and our mother were also very close, and this hurt my mother a lot.”

“She also didn’t go and visit my mother in hospital after she had a major operation for a brain tumor, and I think the wedding thing was the final straw.”

“My mother and my sister were always very close. Closer than me and my mother are now, and closer than me and my sister were. What my sister did really crushed my mother. Even my dad said my sister F’ed up there, and he and my mother can’t stand each other.”

“My mother and I are now very close. This may be the reason she’s acting this way, but everything seemed okay to me with my sister for the first year while they weren’t speaking. Maybe they weren’t okay, and I didn’t notice. I was extremely unwell at the time.”

The OP felt conflicted.

“Some of my family think I’m TA and should have just sucked it up for my sister’s wedding, but my friends are on my side. My mother also had a lot to say about the situation.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some theorized that the sister was angry with the OP for messing up her wedding year.

“Do you think she felt your being pregnant around the time of the wedding took attention away from her? (Which she clearly would be an AH for.)” – jrm1102

“Not only was OP pregnant in the lead-up to the wedding, but she was also very unwell and almost died during childbirth.”

“I imagine OP’s health was a hot topic of conversation, which diverted attention away from sister’s wedding, and the parents especially were probably far too worried about OP to be able to give the wedding the kind of attention sister wanted.” – ImStealingTheTowels

“You got pregnant/gave birth in her ‘wedding year.’ She was afraid you would draw attention from her, that family would want to see your child, etc.”

“She went out of her way to be cruel to you, ignore you and her new niece, lied to you, and caused you inconvenience because she was jealous that a tiny bit of attention might have been diverted from her to you.” – Reasonable_raccoon

“Your sister is extremely jealous of you and that you became a mother BEFORE her, given that she’s older than you. Talk about being pathetic and petty. She feels threatened by you and your little family and wanted to be a mother before you so she could give your parents their FIRST grandchild, but you took that away from her.”

“And now she’s acting like your baby doesn’t exist and is no big deal so she doesn’t get reminded of the fact that her parents have a grandchild. She wants to be the center of attention, and you getting pregnant before her has hurt her fragile little ego. Go NC for good. And never look back. She is beyond pathetic.” – Wonderful-Top-2262

“NTA. I don’t have kids, and I’m 100% behind people having whatever wedding they want to have, but… your sister lied about having a child-free wedding and appears to have only lied to you on some kind of made-up excuse.”

“The fact that anyone in your family thinks your TA is rather appalling. If you’d made a scene at the wedding, that would be one thing, but you took the high road and left, and then the w*nch took two weeks to decide she was upset with you?”

“You got the better end of the event: spending time with your real family rather than a pack of rude a** meatheads.”

“If you haven’t already gotten your sister a wedding gift, perhaps you should send her this book: ‘How Not to be an A**hole Wife and Lose Your Husband’?” – jaimystery

Others were concerned the OP’s sister would never be her daughter’s aunt.

“Not to be harsh, but that may be your sister, but it’s doubtful she will ever truly be your daughter’s aunt.”

“NTA at all. It’s extremely bizarre how your sister can say other babies are her relatives, but your daughter isn’t.” – Safe_Initiative1340

“I’m so, so sorry. I can’t even imagine how hurtful this must feel. I don’t have kids, but my older sister does, and I love them as if I’d given birth to them myself. I actually gasped when your sister ‘explained’ about your daughter not being invited because ‘the other babies are family.’ What a shockingly awful, hateful thing to say.”

“Given that you felt that you’d always gotten on well before, I might actually suggest approaching her and asking what could possibly have happened that you’re unaware of that would make her feel so unwelcoming towards you and your child.”

“This just seems so odd. Like, she wasn’t just indifferent, that was a truly awful thing to say to you, and even more so if you’ve never had any big fallings-out.” – Sorry_I_Guess

“I have sisters that I chose in lieu of bio family and they consider my DOG family! Like they actually do, my dog and I are a package visitation and they have treats on hand for when we visit. And don’t get me started on what their kids mean to me and what I would do for them.”

“I can’t imagine how much it hurt to hear your baby is not family and was specifically not invited.” – doyouavealicense

“OP, she isn’t your child’s auntie. She may be an aunt by blood, but she doesn’t respect you or your child.”

“You gotta stop tearing your heart out for someone who doesn’t actually care about you or your kiddo.” – Hakkonnis

“She said, ‘The other babies were invited as they were her family.’ Whoah, Whoah, Whoah. If I heard my sibling say that about my child, I would be absolutely heartbroken and angry.”

“Your sister and your family who wide with her are the a**holes. Imagine if she said the same thing about their children. I bet they would feel the same way you do. NTA.” – bethargo

“NTA! I don’t know who these family members are, but I get the feeling your sister is either the golden child for them, or they have just accepted that she is the queen bee and parrot whatever she tells them to think.”

“I can’t say that your sister gets on well with you. She’s uncaring, unkind, and completely and cruelly dismissive of you and your family. I’m surprised she let your husband attend. I’m surprised she even noticed that you left (must have felt the loss of people admiring her amazingness).”

“This is not a case of a person making one stupid gaff, so you can be hurt but should eventually forgive them. This is a person who, from the start and for over a year, intentionally and with malice of forethought, made clear to you that she denies your own flesh as being any kin of hers. She meant it; it wasn’t a mistake, and she stands by her actions. That’s not something you just overlook and accept.”

“So who are all these babies that are her family before her own niece? You know what? Who cares! She can have them. Enjoy your new baby, and take care of you and your family of 3. I don’t think you need to give that person another thought, and I don’t think you are going to miss her one bit.”

“(And if she ever comes around you wanting something and saying, ‘…but, FAAAMILY,’ you can tell her to go check with whoever those wedding guests with their kids were.)” – swillshop

The subReddit was just as taken aback and confused by the sister’s refusal for the OP to bring her daughter as the OP was.

Whether it was because they were not as close as the OP thought, or because of jealousy about her wedding year, or something else, it was clear to the subReddit that there was something more at play here than a simple wedding invitation.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.