Everyone is sharing passwords these days.
Netflix, Spotify, and Hulu.
The sharing list is never-ending.
It’s usually not an issue.
But sharing Wi-Fi passwords can be infuriating if someone slows down your network.
Redditor Majestic_Possible350 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback, so naturally, he came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to give my sister my Wi-Fi password after she ‘accidentally’ gave it to her boyfriend?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So I (27 M[ale]) live in a small apartment above my parents’ garage.”
“My sister (25 F[emale]) still lives at home.”
“We’ve always been close-ish, but lately she’s been bringing her B[oy]F[riend] over constantly.”
“A few months ago, she asked for my Wi-Fi password because the signal upstairs is better.”
“I gave it to her.”
“A week later, I noticed the internet was sluggish.”
“I checked my router and saw seven new devices connected.”
“Turns out she gave my password to her boyfriend ‘just for one night,’ but then he gave it to his friends so they could ‘download something quickly.'”
“I confronted her, she laughed it off, and said, ‘It’s just Wi-Fi, don’t be so dramatic.'”
“I changed the password.”
“She found out, got mad, and told my parents I was being petty.”
“Now they’re telling me I should ‘just share’ because it’s ‘family.'”
“I said I’ll happily share if she promises not to give it to anyone else.”
“She refused, saying, ‘I can’t control what people do.'”
“So I refused to.”
“Now she’s sulking, my parents are annoyed, and I’m getting side-eyed at dinner.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for not giving her the new password?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Set up a guest network and name it what your current network is.”
“Change your own network to something like Comcast_guest or whatever so she doesn’t realize it’s yours.”
“On the guest network, limit it to like 25% of the total bandwidth using the router’s controls.”
“She’ll see the same name and think she and her freeloaders are on your usual network, but be limited to a fraction of the available bandwidth and whatever speed you allow.”
“Don’t be ‘an a**hole,’ be smarter than they are.” ~Vox289
“You can also limit the bandwidth of each device on your router, without having to create a guest network.”
“Assign a fixed internal IP to the unwanted MAC addresses, and set their bandwidth to 1mbps.”
“They won’t be able to detect anything unusual without access to the router settings, and if they complain, just say that it’s been that way ever since so many people started sharing your wifi.” ~ putoelquelolea
“Deciding not to give access to somebody who has enabled abuse of your kindness and won’t promise not to do it again is NOT ‘being an a**hole.'”
“The sister is the a**hole.”
“No, she can’t control what people do, but she can control what she does, and she should be absolutely willing to agree to not share the access with anyone else if that’s her brother’s condition.”
“It is not a-hole-ish to want to limit access to a personal service for which you pay, especially if the requester has abused the privilege in the past.” ~ un1ptf
“This is not being smart.”
“If they do something illegal, then it doesn’t matter whether they did it fast or slow, OP will still be the one getting in trouble and unable to prove who it actually was.”
“The smart choice is to change the password, never share it again, and explain to the parents why you don’t share Wi-Fi with a bunch of random guys.” ~ slinkimalinki
“NTA – tell her it’s only wifi, and not to be so dramatic.” ~ True-Button-6471
“NTA. Your parents would probably feel differently if your sister had shared THEIR password, and her boyfriend gave it to everyone he knows.”
“This is overstepping the bounds of courtesy, at the very least, and is downright rude and disrespectful of your privacy at worst.”
“Keep your password to yourself.”
“Your sister has resources; she can get her own Wi-Fi and share it with whomever she wants.”
“Using yours to download their stuff and using it for 7 extra devices isn’t playing fair.” ~ LonelyOwl68
“NTA. Sharing WiFi with the rest of the family worked for her up until this point.”
“You didn’t have a problem with sharing on principle, but she compromised the WiFi by giving it to a bunch of people FOR DOWNLOADS.”
“Of course, that’s eating up all the bandwidth.”
“She can buy herself a WiFi extender or a new router if it’s such a big deal to her.”
“Let her pull that crap with your parents’ WiFi and see how quickly they decide you weren’t overreacting.” ~ JustheBean
“NTA – my spouse and I had a roommate who would abuse the bandwidth.”
“While it didn’t affect our Internet cost, it affected our ability to use what we paid for.”
“We also had to cut his access, then had a discussion about bandwidth.”
“Your sister needs to understand that bandwidth is not an infinite resource, and her BF’s friends are most definitely ‘not family.'” ~ OniyaMCD
“If you’re being dramatic and it’s not a big deal, why is it such a big deal when she’s cut off. “
“You can use the same words back to her: ‘It’s just wifi, don’t be dramatic. NTA.” ~ Pixoholic
“NTA. She can make the rules about wi-fi when she’s paying for it herself.” ~ Chance-Contract-1290
“NTA, that’s in clear breach of your stuff you’re agreeing to share!”
“I feel like you were fair in setting your boundaries, and she should accept that or move on, regardless of her being family.” ~ RiskEducational3271
“NTA. I’m guessing you’re paying for the service in the garage while your parents are paying for their own home?”
“I guess I don’t understand how the bf and his friends all connected unless there was a party?” ~ creamatwinkie
“NTA. You live in your own apartment, and it sounds like you pay for your own internet.”
“You did the nice brotherly thing and shared your wi-fi with your sister. “
“She didn’t even ask your permission or let you know that she shared it with her boyfriend (who then went on to share it with his friends).”
“If it were a one-time event, I’d shrug my shoulders and think, meh, it sucked for a day, but it’s not worth an argument.”
“Since her boyfriend is over constantly, though, it sounds like this would be a recurring issue for you and your internet speed.”
“If your sister has such an issue with the wi-fi and if your parents want to side with her having access to faster wi-fi, they can upgrade their own internet package (or get a signal booster, etc).”
“She’s being petty, and it’s not fair to you.”
“I would do the same as you: change the password and only share it with my own guests.” ~ puskasferenc
“NTA. Your sister showed a complete lack of responsibility after you shared your password with her.”
“Her excuse that she can’t control what he boyfriend can easily be remedied – which is what you did.”
“If sharing rapid WiFi matters that much to her and/or your parents, she/they should pay for faster internet connections and share their WiFi password among themselves.” ~ Individual_Ad_9213
“NTA. People really need to stop the ‘it’s family’ bs as an excuse for everything.’
“For some reason, so many people believe that just because it’s family, that should allow somebody to be walked all over or have their things used without permission, etc.”
“Stand your ground.” ~ GBOC80
“NTA. Tell your parents when they are happy to share their home (beds, food, TV, baths) and cars with your sister’s BF, AND at least 8 random friends of his, THEN they can talk to you about sharing with family (and friends).”
“And sister can let you ‘borrow’ her clothes and jewelry for you to share with a good friend of yours (and whoever else friend chooses to share them with – because you can’t control what other people do and you refuse to share her stuff with your friend.” ~ swillshop
“NTA. Just shrug it off.”
“It doesn’t really matter if she’s sulking.”
“Your parents can stay annoyed.”
“She allowed multiple people to use your Wi-Fi, and it will happen again.” ~ noccie
“NTA! If any of Sis’s idiot friends uses your wifi to commit illegal acts such as cyberbullying or viewing illegal content, your life could be destroyed.”
“Are you sure your sister is 25?”
“She comes across as an extremely immature 15-year-old.” ~ Economy_Algae_418
“Is the wifi in your name only?”
“You paying that bill?”
“Either way, your sister blew your trust and took advantage of ‘being family’ by giving it to her BF, which in turn, he gave it to friends.”
“The Internet is not unlimited, just like cell service, you pay for bandwidth and data.”
“I would not give her the wifi password anymore.”
“She can deal with the slower speeds.”
“NTA, your sister and her BF are.” ~ NarwhalsAreCool20
“NTA. Your sister can’t control what other people do, but also doesn’t care what other people do.”
“Therefore, she can’t be trusted.”
“If your parents are annoyed at you, rather than the actual cause of the problem, then that is even more reason to refuse her the password.” ~ Purple_Paper_Bag
“Keep strong, it’s yours and you pay for it.”
“Don’t let people tell you that you are the problem when really you gave them a chance to share with you, and she gave the password away to people.”
“Not the a**hole.” ~ Ill_Tart254
“NTA. The other 3 adults can chip in and upgrade their Wi-Fi.” ~ Whole-Flow-8190
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your sister and her BF’s behavior is outrageous.
You have every right to protect what is yours.
It’s unfortunate that your parents don’t have your back.
Stand your ground.
Good Luck.