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Guy Upset When He Learns Partner Has 10-Year-Old Brother Saved As ‘My Love’ In Their Phone

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Jealousy can easily wreak havoc on a relationship.

But for one person Reddit, the jealousy between them and their boyfriend arose from an unexpected place–their relationship with their brother.

When their boyfriend became upset about the fact they had their brother listed as “my love” in their phone, they weren’t sure how to handle it.

So they went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole subReddit for input.

The Original Poster, who goes by the username Substantial-End-4338 on the site, asked:

“AITA for having my brother saved as “my love” in my phone instead of my bf?”

He explained:

“This might sound stupid but my bf is very mad at me right now”

“Yesterday my bf, Micah(M[ale] 23) lost his phone and asked me if he can use my phone to call himself and find it. I gave it to him.”

“Apparently he searched ‘M’ saw someone saved as ‘my love’ and thought that must be him.”

“He called without checking the number just to find out that it was actually my little brother (M[ale] 10). he asked me why I have my little brother saved as ‘my love’ instead of him.”

“I jokingly said it’s because my brother is the true love of my life not him and he got very upset and called me an AH.”

“He thinks it’s inappropriate that I have my brother saved as my love and it should be him.”

“He is not talking to me now. did I really do something wrong?”

People on Reddit were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

And though some understood why someone might think it’s a bit strange, most agreed that OP had done nothing wrong and his boyfriend wildly overreacted.

“NAH, but that’s so weird… Growing up I’d probably have my sisters saved as “Pain in the arse 1 and 2″.” –Monicawroteitbetter

“I disagree. I don’t think it’s weird and and I think OP is NTA. Her brother is 10 so she likely feels almost like a second parent to him.”

“She was probably too old when he was born for them to have the typical sibling clashes.” –SandwichOtter

“Usually adult siblings cherish their little ones a lot more. It is quite different when you don’t have to deal with them 24/7, gives you a chance to miss them.” –AskMeAboutMyTabby

“There’s a very large age gap between my older cousins and I (almost 15 years) so they liked to tease me by calling me a baby.”

“As I got older and learned science terms I started calling them “fetus”, “embryo” and “zygote” in retaliation (from youngest to oldest).”

“When I got a phone I saved them all in my contacts as “Cousin1-Zygote”, “Cousin2-Embryo”, and “Cousin3-Fetus” (replacing real names here with CousinNumber).”

“They all thought it was hilarious and those are still the names for their contacts to this day :)” –RubberDucky656

“It’s different when the age gaps are large. I’m at least twenty years older than my little sisters and brother and I call them ‘my love.'”

“They can technically be my kids lol it’s just a sign of affection” –dessertandcheese

“Weird is a 23yo jealous of a brother and saying is inappropriate. If he doesn’t have a brother or if he doesn’t have a good relationship with his brother is HIS problem he was ridiculous” –StephDias

“Yeah I would also for my brothers but you have a different relationship when you are close in age.”

“He’s probably more hurt than jealous that he doesn’t fulfill that role in her life. Maybe he’s seeing that as him not being ‘the one’.” –CharmingComposer95

“I dont, personally, think it’s weird.”

“My own partner refers to my baby brothers as the love(s) of my life, and has told me before that he’s fully okay with the fact that i will always see my babies as more important than him no matter what.”

“Siblings with significant gaps tend to have a lot more of affectionate relationships” –PoisonNote

“I agree NTA. Boyfriend clearly has insecurities and needs to talk to a therapist. He shouldn’t be getting jealous of her 10-year-old brother.” –HoodRichPrick

“When there’s a big age difference, as it sounds like there is, you have a totally different kind of relationship with your younger siblings.”

“My brother who is a year younger than me? Totally would have been saved as ‘PITA’ in my phone when I was younger.”

“But my baby bro? Who I half-raised simply because I’m over a decade older than him? ‘My Baby.'” –Key_Ad_7611

“It is a bit odd for sure. I would probably name my siblings ‘king a**hole’ and ‘okay I guess’.”

“Then again, I did have my work number in my phone as ‘my fu*king boss’ and when said boss found out, I thought he was gonna die laughing.”

“After that, a few times when he’d call he’d say ‘seliKONIC! It’s your fu*king boss.'” –seliKONIC

“This might be cultural. Hispanic here, definitely have used my love my baby etc for siblings. And in the same sentence said the complete opposite.”

“It’s what being a sibling is about. Cousins too. I get what you’re saying. My wife is Scottish and we run into things like this where we do things or have been raised differently.”

“NTA” –12345abcd1234

“NTA. It’s a bit odd but still sweet that you refer to your little brother as ‘my love.’ Your BF sounds insecure with his demand.” –ParsimoniousSalad

“NTA”

“And for the nickname why would it be weird or creepy? It’s sweet and innocent stuff between siblings 🤔” –Beautiful-Chemist456

“I don’t get why people think this is creepy. In the Uk it’s quite common to refer to any loved one as ‘my love’ especially younger kids. It’s a term of endearment.”

“Unfortunately I think it’s a case of people sexualising something completely innocent.”

“Op NTA it’s cute you love your brother that much!” –Mycatisabakedbean

“It sounds weird to me since I was always under the impression that ‘my love’ is only used for romantic partners but that may be wrong since english isnot my first language.”

“On the other hand the whole using nicknames instead of proper names when saving numbers never really made sense to me either.” –CrankMike

“Agreed. My niece and nephew are 25 and 21 respectively and I still tell them to their faces that they are the loves of my life. I also tell that to my boyfriend.”

“A heart can hold much love. It’s sweet and you’ve done nothing wrong. Your little brother is 10.”

“NTA” –Lavender_Parabola

“All the people in this thread saying the name is weird are baffling to me, who hurt y’all ? I swear the US is dystopian sometimes.”

“Obviously NTA and you can save your little brother under any harmless nickname you want.” –Puzzleheaded-Shirt-4

“I think the phrase ‘My Love’ typically makes people think of romantic love, so their knee jerk reaction is ‘Ew’.

“That being said, I’ve absolutely called kids ‘My Love’, so I don’t think it’s weird for OP to have her 10 year old brother saved that way.”

“Her boyfriend needs to grow up and stop sexualizing the relationship.” –aelizabeth27

“I think the US has many reasons to be called a dystopia, but cultural differences are not one of them.”

“If someone introduces someone to you and says ‘this is my love’, you would absolutely assume they’re meaning romantic partner, not a sibling.”

“I dont find it creepy or weird, just unexpected.” –StiffDock685

“I’m in the US and also wondering wth is wrong with all these people that’s saying its weird..”

“I call everyone love, boo, sweetie all that not just a romantic partner, as do almost everyone else I know.” –aSoulslowlyDying

“Ikr? This is so weird cuz i call all my loved ones ‘my love’.”

“For example when I’m talking to my best friend, I’d sometimes say ‘how are you doing my love’ there ain’t nothing wrong with that. People are weird…” –laavuwu

“NTA. My little brother is saved in my phone as My Heart. He’s my best friend in the whole wide world!!!” –YanaYellow25

“NTA. I find it weird that your boyfriend is jealous of your little brother. Is he always this insecure?” –dominiqlane

“NTA. Your boyfriend is jealous of your 10 year old brother, what does he think is happening? Tell him to get a grip.” –linzzzzi

“NTA. ‘My love’ is not reserved for romantic or sexual relationships, plus the large age gap greatly changes the dynamic of the relationship [I have a sibling who is 17 years younger than I am].” –thedrlecter

“NTA – but I have to ask, were you a good bit older when he was born? It sounds as though there is probably a decent age gap between you and your baby brother.”

“And if that’s so, then I really can’t find it particularly weird, because you would’ve had partial responsibility in the household for taking care of him.”

“Sibling relationships with a considerable age gap can vary wildly in how siblings relate to one another, depending on whether they had a true sibling bond, or whether the older sibling was a caregiver and helped raise them.”

“Anywho, I can understand why it would weird your boyfriend out, but his being upset that he isn’t the center of your universe is a massive red flag.” –CatteHerder

Hopefully OP’s boyfriend can find a way to get over this.

Written by John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.