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Pregnant Woman Irate After Husband Refuses To Empty Her ‘Barf Bowls’ When He Comes Home From Work


Giving birth is not for the faint of heart.

And before the birth there is the pregnancy, that’s no walk in the park either.

There are tons of surprises and side effects to a baby arrival.

And a few are a little gross and can cause some chaos.

Case in point...

Redditor PangolinNew58 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA – pregnant wife with morning sickness, husband won’t empty barf bowls?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I am 8 weeks pregnant and have had really bad nausea and vomiting for the past 2 weeks of my pregnancy.”

“It’s been totally disruptive to my life and I feel miserable.”

“This comes during my husband’s busy period at work, where he is working 80+ hours a week.”

“The last few days I’ve been keeping large bowls on hand to puke in while I try to work from the couch.”

“My husband asked me why I don’t just use the toilet, and I told him that our toilet is disgustingly dirty, because…I’ve been sick for two weeks so no one has cleaned it.”

“Getting that close to the toilet while nauseas makes me feel even worse.”

“Hence, the bowls.”

“And moving fast upsets my stomach even more.”

“So when nausea hits, it’s nice to not have to sprint to the next room.”

“I’m struggling to make it through each day.”

“And when my husband gets home in the evening between 7-8pm I hope for a little relief or help with some food.”

“Today he said that because I admitted to using bowls for ‘comfort,’ rather than throwing up in the toilet, he won’t help me clean them.”

“I know it’s gross, and I have been doing most of this myself.”

“AITA for wanting occasional help with my pregnancy puke clean up?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“YTA. Put a dang grocery bag in the bowl at least and just throw them away every time?”

“Or rinse it out after you throw up and go sit back on the couch?”

“Or clean the toilet and if you get sick then you’ll have a clean toilet to throw up in.”

“I’ve been pregnant a few times with terrible nausea but my husband never had to rinse out bowls.”  ~ Famous-Vanilla-7213

“YTA Been where OP is, vomiting sick for 8 months of my pregnancy.”

“It was all day long, and night and I still managed to clean the toilet and clean up after myself.”

“Expecting someone else to do it is just, gross.”

“You’re an adult, act like it.” ~ Wrong_Moose_9763

“Came to say the same thing.”

“I had hyperemesis with my 2 oldest, when I was pregnant with my son, my 18 month old daughter was pretending to throw up with me because it was just that frequent. OP is TA.” ~ rdale8209

“It really depends on how bad your morning sickness is too, my sister has been unable to keep anything down.”

“She can smell things from a mile away.”

“My B[rother] I[n] L[aw] has been unable to bring certain things into the house because smelling them will make her throw up.”

“Smell of vomit is an even worse trigger and she literally has zero energy because she’s been unable to keep food down.”

“Kudos to you for being superwoman, but you realize that everyone has different symptoms right.”

“What is insane to me is how normalized this behavior is.”

“You are literally growing a baby, the least your partner can do in that time is help out a bit more with chores around the house.”

“Like he can’t take 2 minutes to clean the bathroom so that his pregnant wife can be just a bit more comfortable.”

“She too can use a bag like everyone has said.”

“ESH. Being pregnant isn’t easy, neither are 80 hour work weeks.”

“They need to both find solutions that help each other.”  ~ Pretentious-fools

“She’s pregnant and has morning sickness, not dying.”

“She can clean up her own vomit.”

“I was still recovering from an accident I was in when I had my oldest (I was still on crutches).”

“I didn’t expect my husband to clean up after me when I threw up.”

“She can clean a toilet and the bowls she’s using herself.”

“Why would she even got a bowl (s) that’s gross.”

“Why not a mop bucket or something similar to it.”

“She may want to talk to her Dr about her prenatal vitamins they could be causing the morning sickness.”

“Some women can’t take them.”

“I had horrible morning sickness with my oldest my Dr told me to stop the prenatal vitamins and to take the Flintstone with Iron vitamins.”

“So I did within a week the morning sickness was gone.”

“One of my sisters had the same issue and they worked for her too.”

“So she needs to talk to him at her next visit.”

“OP although I do sympathize with you, you are the AH.”  ~ Additional_Pie_9763

“Omg I have never read an AITA this deplorable.”

“How in the world can she not handle a toilet that’s only two weeks dirty without being nauseous?”

“But can sit among her MULTIPLE vomit bowls all day???”

“And are these bowls they eat out of???”

“Cleaning puke bowls is what you do for 6-year-olds who can’t reach the sink. YTA YTA YTA.” ~ newmew22

“I came to say the same thing.”

“Also OP, if your nausea is so bad you can’t keep anything down, you need to talk to your doctor about nausea meds.”

“I was so sick with all of mine I was losing weight in the first trimester and had to take medication just to keep my weight even. YTA.”  ~ Ok_Asparagus_6404

“I had severe morning sickness every time I’ve as pregnant.”

“I used an ice cream bucket to throw up in.”

“If you clean it up as soon as you are able it will be easier to deal with and not be completely disgusting.”

“Leaving barf all over is no only gross but the smell is going to end up making you sickness worse.” ~ YoshiPikachu

“YTA. I have Crohn’s and have three kids (with number 2 my morning sickness was so bad I required several IVs).”

“My husband never cleaned my puke bucket and I have never cleaned his when he had a stomach bug.”

“It would be reasonable to ask him to clean the toilet if he had time, but if he is too busy, cinnamon candles will cover the smell while you clean it.”  ~ Fluffy-Ad-122

“YTA – That’s disgusting.”

“Use a trashcan or something. “

“If a grown adult expected me to clean up their vomit I would be furious.”

“Also, a bowl?? Like the bowls you eat with???”

“Hope you feel better and that sucks so I’m sorry, but yeah thats pretty gross.”  ~ Substantial-Chest230

“Exactly. I know pregnancy is traumatic and hard on the body, but c’mon OP.”

“This ain’t it!”

“Common sense would be to ask the husband to clean the toilet.”

“Takes 5 minutes.”

“Asking him to come home after an 80 hour work week and clean up your puke bowls that have been sitting all day is not reasonable AT ALL.”

“Just thinking of the smell… just no.”  ~ Electrical-Date-3951

“Oh sh*t… I was thinking a washing-up bowl?”

“I know they’re less common in the US.”

“But in the UK they’re in every house and I have one of those for emergencies, i.e. to make sure when I need to be sick.”

“If I can’t make it to the loo I have somewhere that isn’t my carpet – ETA I clean up the bowl/toilet when I am sick.”

“YTA though.”

“Clean the freaking toilet, stop leaving your sick in the freaking bowls.”

“You’re a grown up about to have a kid – if you can’t look after yourself, you’re gonna have a freaking riot with a shitting machine!”

“I get that hubby needs to help, but between work and sleep, he’s out of commission for over half the week.”

“You can’t just leave everything to him, especially dried up sick.”

“You need to cut him some slack, meet each other half way, and not act like you’re an invalid.”

“Not saying it’s not gonna be tough, but when is being an adult not tough?”  ~ ADG1983

“Eww. I’m 34 weeks pregnant with baby #4 and NEVER would I have asked anyone, not even my husband, (especially if he was damn near working himself into the ground) to clean my puke BOWL.”

“Get a trash can with a lid and a bag, tie it up, at LEAST.”

“If you want him to help, ask him to clean the toilet for you, that’s at least a bit more reasonable.”

“YTA. Sorry, pregnancy is not an excuse for making unreasonable demands.”  ~ PollyWallyFrog

“YTA. If your husband is working 80 hours a week, he’s bringing in some serious money.”

“Hire a maid and have her come in once a week to clean the house.”

“As to emptying your vomit buckets, you use the bathroom, right?”

“Bring the bucket with you and dump it when you’ve finished your business.” ~ He_Who_Is_Right_

Well OP… Reddit seems to have a few issues with your issue.

Sounds like some good compromises were offered up.

Good luck and happy baby arrival.