Having a pet and having children can be highly stressful situations.
And caring for them together can often cause friction.
That’s why they say, always be sure about getting a pet, or a kid.
And make sure everyone in a relationship is on the same page about the care.
Case in point…
Redditor mozzz22 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for tell my wife the cat is still her responsibility even if she is pregnant?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife (28) and I (36) are expecting out first baby.”
“Three years ago my wife decided she desperately wanted a cat.”
“I hate cats and all animals in the house really so I was against it.”
“She wouldn’t stop talking about so finally we made a deal she could get a cat.”
“But it was her responsibility I would have nothing to do with it. She agreed.”
“She stuck to her word and I stuck to mine.”
“I mostly ignore the cat.”
“Now she is pregnant and asked me if I can scoop the litter until she gives birth because of toxoplasmosis.”
“But I looked it up and as long as she wears gloves and washes her hands she should be good.”
“So I told her absolutely not.”
“She wasn’t happy but I reminded her of our agreement when we got the cat.”
“I told her it was her responsibility and if she didn’t want to take care of it anymore with the new baby coming we can get rid of it and find it a new home.”
“She said no and has been scooping the litter.”
“Her sister was over and saw her doing this and flipped out at me telling how dangerous it is.”
“But of course her sister is going to be on her side and overreact.”
“I never wanted the cat so I don’t see how I’m wrong.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“Get a self cleaning litter box.”
“Then all you have to do is toss. No scooping.”
“She really shouldn’t be around cat feces while pregnant.”
“Even at the vet clinic where it’s literally your job to clean this stuff, we do not allow our pregnant employees to clean the cat boxes. YTA.” ~ UsuallyWrite2
“I love cats and dogs, but I can see how someone who hates pets would really resent having to clean the litter box.”
“Fine, but you do it anyway for your wife’s and your baby’s sake.”
“Honestly, I don’t think they should have gotten a cat in the first place.”
“I’m guessing the wife needed something to love that’s not as prickly as OP.”
“It’s not fair to the pet to have one person who hates it and resolutely refuses to acknowledge its existence.”
“But someone who refuses to help out at all even when it’s dangerous for his wife and baby?”
“Yeah, OP doesn’t deserves wife, baby, or pet.” ~ bambina821
“OP, we get you didn’t want the cat.”
“Do you want your wife?”
“Do you want your baby?”
“Cause I promise you scooping out the litter box is not the last thing you’re going to need to do for the health and safety of your family that you don’t actually want to do.”
“It might just be the easiest.” ~ Bananapanda123
“On top of this. Major YTA.”
“I’m pregnant as well and my doctor told me specifically that even with gloves and a mask it’s a no go.”
“Stop being lazy and help your wife!” ~ Mykittenismychicken
“My neighbor has a birth defect caused by congenital toxoplasmosis.”
“She’s had to go through multiple surgeries since birth.”
“At 20 something she had to go through full mouth dental implant surgery.”
“She’s been medically abused multiple times.”
“She’s a brilliant smart woman, but her quality of life is seriously reduced because of it.”
“9 months of scooping cat litter is not so high a price to pay to ensure your own child’s health. YTA.” ~ nayaraselene
“Guarantee you that OP would ditch his wife and baby if the baby were born with a disability.”
“It’s very common for fathers to bail when their babies have a serious condition, and OP seems self-centered. YTA, OP.” ~ SeattlePurikura
“A man that puts a deal over his unborn child’s health is an embarrassment.”
“Not to mention a bad father already.”
“It takes a couple minutes a day.”
“Get off your a** and help out. YTA.” ~ J_JustJ0711
“Yep, can’t stand a cat, well a kid is a hell of a lot more work.”
“OP should look at it as practice.”
“Imagine hating cats more than you love your wife/child.”
“Also, she has to carry that child 24/7, he only needs to give up 5 minutes a day, but that is way too much for him. YTA.” ~ SWG_138
“YTA 100%. Guess what? I’m pregnant, I have 2 cats.”
“I wanted cats. My husband didn’t.”
“And you know what?”
“My husband loves me enough to take on that responsibility while I’m pregnant to protect our unborn child like a father and husband/partner should”
“. Get over yourself and be the husband you promised to be in your vows.”
“If your wife miscarried, would you really be able to not blame yourself?”
“Do you think she wouldn’t blame you?”
“This all points to divorce if you don’t stop thinking of only yourself.” ~ South_Ear3148
“I know a girl that contracted toxoplasmosis from her cat’s litter.”
“Her baby has microcephaly.”
“YTA all day, everyday.” ~ chrmily8485
“I also know someone who contracted it.”
“Her daughter is now an adult that will always have to live with her mom and dad and when they’re gone she will spend the rest of her life in a group/nursing home because she won’t ever be able to care for herself.”
“Imagine being a husband and knowing this is a possibility for your wife and child and still saying ‘Nope. You scoop the catbox.'”
“Dude, YTA, and I hope one day when you are incapacitated for any reason, your wife is kinder than you are, because I wouldn’t be if you were my husband.”
“Get off your a** and help your wife.” ~ Stock_Entry_8912
“YTA – Even if she finds some safe ways to do it, it’s still recommended that pregnant women don’t change a cat’s litter box.”
“You’re really going to stick to this agreement for your wife and baby’s health?”
“You KNOW it’s just temporary; you KNOW she’ll go back to changing the litter box once she has the baby, but why risk your baby’s health by the POSSIBILITY of her not getting toxoplasmosis?”
“Just to stick it to her?”
“To have a reason to get rid of your wife’s cat?” ~ jdessy
“YTA. Perhaps her sister and her friends can get on a rotation schedule to come by and scoop the litter since your wife is married to such an utter AH.”
“No telling what your reputation will be like but hey, at least you won’t have compromised.” ~ lonnielee3
“YTA. The five years my husband and I have been together I have done the litter.”
“As soon as I popped positive he took over the chore immediately.”
“Not just for the toxins but the smell makes me vomit too.”
“Is it really that hard to be a good husband?”
“Right now you sound like you suck.” ~ snowflakes__
“I had my cat for 2 years before meeting my fiancée.”
“He witnessed me have an asthma attack 1 time while changing the litter from the dust only a few months into us dating and has insisted on doing it for me ever since.”
“It wasn’t even his cat, we weren’t living together, we hadn’t even been together that long but he saw that the chore was hard for me and took over it without me asking because he wanted to.” ~ Princess-Pancake-97
“YTA. Oh my god seriously??”
“Do you even care about the health and safety of your wife and future child?”
“To put her in a position to either do something dangerous, or get rid of a beloved pet is cruel.”
“After these 9 months she’ll go back to taking care of the cat on her own.”
“But the fact that you can’t compromise with her until then makes me concerned for how you’ll be once the baby comes.”
“Yikes man, you really ought to do some serious reflecting on what kind of husband you are, and what kind of husband and father you want to be.” ~ Appropriate-Value54
“I was thinking the same thing.”
“’Honey, I don’t care that you’re breastfeeding and recovering from a c-section.'”
“‘We agreed to take turns changing diapers and I did the last one.'”
“‘Get up and see to the baby. Also, it’s your turn to make dinner and you left your socks on the floor.'”
“Wife limps off quietly sobbing while OP turns back to his video game, smiling about his rightfully earned free time.”
“It might be unfair – but that’s my current mental image of OP.”
“Hopefully, I’m very wrong.”
“Hoping also that your baby isn’t already infected with toxoplasmosis. YTA OP!” ~ ShadeApart
“‘She should be good.'”
“My dude that is your unborn child and the woman that you love right there.”
“If there was any risk to a loved one, especially with such a simple task, I would do it without question.”
“If you don’t want to clean up a little bit of s**t now, you’ve got a storm coming when that kid arrives. YTA.” ~ huggit_notnuggit
Well OP, Reddit is pretty clear on where they stand.
Maybe some therapy will help you understand better.
Helping is a part of a relationship.
Hopefully you can both come to some peace on this.