Parenting advice changes practically on a yearly basis, because of new research that comes out, so even parents who have a baby on the way after a sizeable age gap should review the best ways to raise a child.
But it’s especially important for future parents and grandparents to discuss how to raise a child, particularly when it comes to safety protocols, like child safety locks, pointed out the members of the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Happyforest345’s parents-in-law were visiting from another country, and their mother-in-law had prescription medication she had to take on a daily basis.
The Original Poster (OP) was worried about her children accessing the medication, but because her husband felt she was making a problem out of nothing, she struggled to share her concerns with her mother-in-law to make the home safer for her children.
They asked the sub:
“Am I the a**hole for asking my husband to request that my mother-in-law put her prescription medications out of reach of our kids?”
The OP’s parents-in-law were visiting from another country to help with their children.
“We had a baby five months ago and asked my husband’s parents to come visit for three months to help us out with our five-month-old and four-year-old.”
“It has been going well, and they have been very helpful. They are living with us during their visit.”
“However, my MIL is diabetic and needs to take several types of prescription pills to manage it. She keeps them in a plastic tub with a lid on their dresser. The meds are not in child-safe bottles but rather pop-out packets (she is from another country and brought meds from there).”
The OP was concerned about their toddler being able to access the medication.
“Their room is right next to our four-year-old’s room. The height is such that our four-year-old could probably pull down the tub, and could definitely do it with her bathroom stool.”
“Our four-year-old fortunately has never shown any interest in the tub. As a rule, I keep all prescription meds/meds of any kind way up high in our house (in a tub on top of our fridge), so she infrequently sees them.”
The OP and their husband did not agree about their safety concerns.
“I asked my husband to please have my mother-in-law keep the meds up higher in the closet in their room, because I was concerned our four-year-old could access them.”
“He told me it’s not a big deal and to let it go.”
“I agreed, but felt uncomfortable about it.”
“We have now asked her to stay another three months, and are in the process of helping her secure more meds for her stay. Today I asked him again to please ask her again to put the meds up, and told him it’s really important to me and I’m concerned about it.”
“He launched into a tirade about how insignificant this is, and not at all a concern, and that there is no risk, I am being a problem bringing it up, he is very busy, I’m always bothering him with things, maybe his parents should just go back and we shouldn’t have them stay here, etc.”
“For context, I did also ask him this week to please ask his parents to lock our porch door when they come in. They were leaving it unlocked, and it’s the back door to our house.”
‘I was often finding it unlocked at night, but I don’t routinely ask him to do things like this.”
The OP and their husband struggled to come to an agreement.
“I told him that his reaction wasn’t OK and we need to have constructive ways of addressing things that matter to us in the home/issues that come up as MIL/FIL stay with us.”
“He eventually apologized for his reaction and said he’d ask his parents to put the meds up, although he continued to blame me for always ‘getting my way.'”
“He expects me to be OK now. I’m still really upset…”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some urged the OP to fix these safety concerns immediately, with or without their husband.
“None of these safety things are negotiable. At all. Needs to be fixed without delay.”
“If the kids get into meds and you take them to the hospital, then even if it’s fine, now you have child services visiting, telling you to change, and that’s if you are lucky.”
“NTA except maybe for not putting your foot down on everyone else respecting basic child safety.” – shoobe01
“Hundreds of children die each year due to accidental medication ingestion.” – ProfessionalYam3119
“I was going to say just Google ‘child dies pill ingestion,’ and unfortunately, it happens all the time. There’s a reason some products come with a child safety lock, and even then, it’s no guarantee a kid won’t find a way.”
“I don’t know what would happen to a child if it got hold of glyburide and metformin, among other things. As a diabetic myself and suffering from neuropathy, I have even more deadly stuff in my daily pill bottle.”
“If she’s using something to manage pain, who knows. But what I do know is that those drugs and a child is a recipe for disaster.”
“I don’t get what her husband’s problem is, to be honest. God forbid she wants her children to be safe in her own home. I highly doubt the parents would complain if he asked, he’s just choosing to not address it, at least until now.” – Pierre-LucDubois
“Not just medications. My older sister nearly destroyed her liver when she was 3 or 4 years old. A neighbor’s kid got the multivitamins down from the high cupboard where they were kept and fed them to my sister like candy.”
‘It annoys me to this day that so many pills still look like sweets.” – Beneficial-Math-2300
“They make locking medicine bags and medical boxes. This is something that she could use that could also be nice for her during her travels, so her medicine is secured in her carry-on. Since it’ll have multiple uses, maybe it will encourage her to use it.” – Ordinary_Map_5000
“I would use Google Translate or another similar tool and talk to MIL yourself. Explain your concerns and why it’s important to lock the back door and put up medication. Use this same tool to ask about her day and ask her regular questions like what she wants for dinner.” – LowBalance4404
“I’m surprised, you’re the only one who has addressed the back door issue. That’s a huge issue with a four-year-old. It would be very easy for them to wander out and get lost or attacked or hit by a vehicle.”
“And it would be worse at night, in the dark when family wouldn’t miss them until the next morning. The meds are a huge red flag for curious little children. I encourage OP to find a way to communicate your concerns with MIL since her son won’t address the problem.” – Georgia-Peaches81
Others pointed out that the only problem here was the husband, not the OP’s concerns.
“NTA. Get in marriage counseling. Your husband is rude and disrespectful to you.”
“It is basic common sense to keep medications and household cleaners out of the reach of children! Children die when they get into these things.”
“Why does he not think that is a priority? It is concerning that he disregards his children’s safety.” – 1RainbowUnicorn
“You need to TELL them. Your husband is an a**. Remind him when you take your child to the ER to have their stomach pumped. If you are lucky, that is all your kid will need.”
“Are you sure you want to stay married to him? You might find another man who actually cares about your kids.” – Unfair_Feedback_2351
“NTA. I’d be p**sed if my husband responded this way.”
“Your kid has taken an interest in the pills that are easily within reach and in a container easily opened. That, along with the ‘that’ll never happen to us’ mentality your husband has is REALLY dangerous.”
“You have no idea what exactly is in there, and there could be other pills not strictly related to MIL’s diabetes. You are not wrong in any way to want them moved.”
“It only takes ONE TIME for something horrible and irreversible to happen, and your husband is careless and stupid not to see the risk and a complete AH for how he reacted and responded to you. He needs a reality check.” – OneFit6104
“NTA. It’s a small ask, and he overreacted, in my opinion. It’s common sense to keep meds out of reach of kids.”
“I know someone who would keep their kids’ pain relief in the fridge, and they didn’t screw the cap on properly once. Their three-year-old got into it and drank so much of it. They had to go to the hospital. It was pretty bad.” – CrabbiestAsp
“Wow, what’s your husband going to say when your kid kills themself over the left-out meds? That you were ‘getting your way’?”
“Dude, be more serious about this. Kick out the parents, the husband, or move out yourself. He’s going to kill his own kids, and knowing the type, not able to own up to his own bulls**t.”
“You deserve better than this. Your kids deserve better than this FROM THEIR OWN FATHER.”
“I simply can’t. I don’t have children because I know I’m selfish, but other people…” – Own_Cloud_3309
After receiving feedback, the OP shared two positive, brief updates.
“First Update: Thank you all for reflecting my feelings!”
“I told my husband that the meds need to be moved up tonight, while we wait for a lockbox I just bought online to arrive by Sunday.”
“I told him I will also speak to MIL (maybe with a translation app) myself about it tomorrow.”
“He is mad at me, but sticking to it.”
“Second Update: I talked to my in-laws directly with a translator, and they completely understood. The meds are up high, and the lockbox is on the way. Thank you!”
The subReddit was alarmed by how careless the OP’s husband was being and how rude he was being toward his partner, who only wanted to keep their children safe.
It sounded like the parents-in-law, for once, were not the issue, and a language barrier and a stubborn husband were the only things standing in the way of the OP’s children’s safety.