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Teen Given Reality Check After Complaining His Crush Doesn’t Like Him Because He’s ‘Too Smart’

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The truth about why someone doesn’t like another person back, can be a bitter pill to swallow.

Everybody wants to be liked.

And finding reasons why that doesn’t happen can be simple, or heartbreaking.

But some basic truths can go along way.

Case in point…

Redditor lovepresevering wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for telling my brother that his crush dislikes him because he’s an a**hole, not because he’s ‘too smart’?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So I have a younger brother (13) who is a child prodigy.”

“I won’t give too many details but he’s well known in the academic circles of our country and attends an institute of higher education.”

“Naturally people are impressed with his intelligence and he’s quite popular and makes friends easily.”

“Our parents dote on him and have never told him ‘no.'”

“As a result he has become very arrogant, condescending and disrespectful to people he deems below him… that’s just about everyone.”

“Lately he’s been openly talking about a girl he’s crushing on and much to his dismay she’s quite unimpressed with him.”

“He often complains to my parents and I about his failed attempts to befriend her.”

“I understand why she dislikes him.”

“On one occasion he invited her over for a school project and I overheard their interaction.”

“He was constantly talking over her, dismissing her ideas and even calling them stupid.”

“99% of the time he was talking about himself and his accomplishments, being in news articles, his future plans are etc.”

“The poor girl obviously seemed uncomfortable.”

“He quizzed her about her career aspirations and when she answered he proceeded to point out it’s a bad career path.”

“Today he was once again complaining about her and said that she’s obviously intimidated by his superior intellect.”

“He claimed that all girls only like ‘stupid guys’ and that ‘women are emotional.'”

“Sadly my parents agreed and kept assuring him that this girl is obviously uncomfortable with the fact he’s so accomplished and awesome.”

“After hearing this nonsense many times, I finally told him that his crush dislikes him because he behaves like an obnoxious, know-it-all a**hole.”

“I explained that he’d probably have a chance if he showed some modesty instead of talking down on this girl so much.”

“So my parents obviously think I’m an a**hole for saying this.”

“They said that it was horrible of me to say this to a 13 year old and that he’s just a child.”

“I told them that he needs to realize that his personality is becoming a problem.”

“And that his crush dislikes him because he’s an AH, not because he’s ‘too smart.’

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA- you actually are doing him a favor for him to learn this lesson now.”

“Your parent’s are setting him up for failure.”

“Regardless of intelligence and ability, a huge part of success is also likability and the ability to get along with others.”

“I have seen several brilliant people get nowhere because of their complete lack of emotional intelligence.” ~ genericname907

“Unless he has some serious ingenuity friends won’t last long anyway.”

“Many child prodigies that have this level of narcissistic tendencies ruin thier own opportunities in my experience.”

“If he treats everyone like imbeciles he will at best end up like J.P. from Grandma’s Boy.”

“NTA the kid should learn how to be an emotional companion to those around him.” ~ EmEmPeriwinkle

“No matter the age, when you have a crush on someone, you want to impress them.”

“He’s been told all his life that his intelligence is impressive – so he’s using that to try and show her how amazing he is and what a great boyfriend he would be.”

“He probably wouldn’t use the same techniques with people he just wanted to be friends with.”

“This sounds all like normal teenage (hell, even grown adults!) learning the dating world stumbling to me.”

“NTA though.”

“He needs to be told how he is perceived.”

“Considering other viewpoints is a need in any form of analysis – whether scientific, philosophical, or psychological.”

“Any sort of academic setting that he is in will demand this sort of analysis without dismissing anything out of hand.”

“The parents dismissing it and trying to create a bubble around the teenager will only stunt his ability to grow into a well rounded academic, really.” ~ isabelladangelo

“THIS If your parents could take a break from polishing his gold throne, maybe they’ll stop enabling him to be so obnoxious.”

“As he gets older, his arrogance will overshadow his intelligence. NTA.”  ~ REDDIT

“This is an excellent point.”

“There are so many stories of child prodigies that don’t really have any advantage over more normal people.”

“Who by the time they’re in their 20s or 30s never learned the social skills and work ethic that their ‘less naturally talented’ peers developed in the intervening years.”

“Good social skills can often get you very, very far in ways that talent/raw ability can’t.” ~ zeezle

“I think the rational response to finding out your child is a prodigy is nervousness and a sense of heavy responsibility.”

“It should be apprehended as a major challenge that will probably go off the rails if not treated with great care.”

“It’s like winning the lottery–if you just celebrate and don’t treat it as the sensitive situation it is, you’re going to mess it up and most people do.”

“I can’t think of many geniuses (or lottery winners) that seem like balanced, happy people, and that should be your priority for your child.” ~ chrysavera

“Absolutely NTA… there’s a great episode of Malcolm in the Middle that covers this (2 partner, I believe) where Malcolm is paired with a girl he likes for a scavenger hunt and they have their ankles tied together (like a 3-legged race).”

“She starts talking about a guy she likes and he assumes it’s him and confesses he likes her.”

“She tries to let him down gently but he won’t let it go and keeps asking why she likes this other kid instead of him.”

“And keeps talking about how dumb the other kid is… I believe a direct quote is ‘he high fives people when they choose pizza toppings.'”

“Eventually she snaps and points out that he’s a negative know-it-all and even though the other kid is dumb, he’s nice and considerate and that’s why she likes him.

I highly recommend you trick him into watching the episode, it should clear things up for him a bit. Maybe sit your parents down for that one too, because their setting your brother up to be a very poorly adjusted adult.” ~ Cli4ordtheBRD

“He may have a high I[ntelligence] Q[uotient] but he has low E[motional] Q[uotient] and he will have difficulty having and keeping relationships because of it.”

“My dad is a chemist and struggles with this constantly.”

“His quote in his yearbook when he was valedictorian was ‘Last year I was smart, but this year I have achieved perfection.'”

“It didn’t go down well, he didn’t have friends… and he is divorced and still single after 36 years.”

“He has a few more friends now but he still has difficulty keeping them.”

“Your parents are doing your brother a disservice not teaching him some humility. NTA.” ~ Heyrik1

“Poor kid. The parents would do him good if they looked into the ‘Gifted Kid burnout’ phenomenon.”

“So many smart kids are complimented so much on their ability to be naturally smart, rather than the effort they put in etc.”

“At some point being gifted doesn’t cut it and you need actual good techniques for studying etc.”

“Which gifted kids often aren’t taught and for long long time don’t need.”

“When their entire self worth is based on being effortlessly smart it’s so easy for that to come crashing down the second they face difficulty, and cause some extreme burnout.” ~ REDDIT

“NTA. Your parents are most at fault, however.”

“They’re raising a narcissistic monster.”

“They need to teach him manners before it’s too late.” ~ REDDIT

“He’s on the path of becoming an incel if he starts blaming the woman/lying about rejection.”

“NTA. Best he’s told like it is because if it progresses his mindset on the whole thing will get more damaging.”  ~ REDDIT

“If the OP’s brother has been surrounded by admirers his whole life, and he has skipped a few classes to find his intellectual equals amongst much older children, he may well have problems with emotional intelligence and social skills.”

“This is a huge and recognized issue with intellectually gifted children.”

“On the one hand they are bored academically with their age peers, but on the other they miss out on emotional and social development if they skip ahead by more than one or two years.”

“Has he had any social skills support?”

“He will need it.”

“His special needs need to be addressed from every aspect, not just the intellectual, because after school/Uni, social and emotional skills become much more central to our lives.”

“And to the life goals most people have, e.g. relationships, friends, children, etc. than intellectual skills.”

“Which become more restricted to the work place and are not quite as extraordinarily seeming in adults as they were in a child.”

“OP get your parents to read this thread and get him some help.” ~ GlencoraPalliser

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Sometimes some truth has to shared out loud.

Hopefully your parents also heard you.

Maybe it’s time for some family therapy.

Good luck.