Family dynamics often include a little friendly competition.
But for Redditor Beginning_Cow4041, this competition turned a little unfriendly.
Some run-of-the-mill teasing and rivalry between Beginning_Cow4041 and their cousin caused the Redditor to seek out feedback from subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” (AITA).
The asked:
“AITA for applying to my cousin’s company just to show him I can get a higher role and pay than he has?”
The OP laid out their story.
“Oliver – my cousin – and I are almost the same age, and we went to university to study the same thing.”
“The difference was that I started working as an intern halfway through uni[varsity], and after I got my [Bachelor of Science], the company offered me a full-time position, which I gladly took and didn’t go to a master’s program.”
“Oliver, unlike me, went to get his master’s and started working years after I did.”
“Oliver always made sure to tell me what a mistake I made by not getting an Msc [Masters of Sciences] degree.”
“I will always be lower paid than him. No company will give me higher roles. I will get stuck at the bottom of the ladder, etc.”
OP’s cousin wouldn’t let up.
“He stopped for a little bit after finishing his studies, but recently, he started again stronger than ever.”
“At Christmas, he told me that now that he has both an Msc and 4 years of work experience, he will overtake me so fast.”
“In his company, he will soon apply (in 1 or 2 years) to a higher role, and he knows they wouldn’t hire a person without a master’s degree for that role.”
Finally, the OP had had enough.
“That was when I decided to be petty and apply to Oliver’s company for said role.”
“I got the offer this week, and it’s actually even higher paid than I expected it to be. I told Oliver about the offer (without specifying the salary), and he threw a fit.”
“He called me a petty a**hole and told me it’s insane that I would go to such lengths out of my ‘inferiority complex.’”
“Our entire family is on his side, and now they treat me like a jealous, mean bully.”
“I mean, yes, it was petty. But nobody said a word when they heard Oliver tell me during family Christmas dinner that I will always be a nobody stuck at the bottom of the corporate ladder.”
“I only wanted to prove him wrong, and it was fun testing myself.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their two cents on the matter by deeming the OP:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
It was decided that the OP was “not the a**hole.”
“NTA, and honestly, well done.”
“I aspire to your level of pettiness.”
“I mean, if you are taking the job and can do the work (hell, maybe even if you don’t take the job), I don’t think you’re an AH – Oliver is an AH, and the family was apparently fine with him treating you that way, so kudos.”
“Seriously, well played.” – Specific-Succotash-8
“NTA, his logic is so strange.”
“’You wouldn’t be able to do this’ *you doing it* ‘HEY, THATS NOT ALLOWED’” – JegHaderStatistik
“NTA, but I’m guessing this goes much further back.”
“Did you excel at something he couldn’t do as a child or teen? This level of competition is crazy.”
“People need to stop comparing themselves to others. I’m directing this comment at Oliver, not OP.”
“Either way, OP got that job on their own and has every right to be proud of themself.” – vomitthewords
“NTA. Please post it on r/pettyrevenge.”
“He said you couldn’t get the post, and you did – so since this is your family, they should be happy for you?”
“I hope you become his boss…” – Complex-Pirate-4264
“NTA. You played his game and beat him.”
“Sounds like he was jealous of you, to begin with, putting you down all the time.”
“Good for you for not taking it lying down. Your family is in the wrong to not back you” – goflames93
“NTA. Turn this around.”
“Tell him, yes he gave you the idea, but you are so thankful that he did, as it really helped out your career.” – Aggressive_Lake191
“NTA, some people need real-time demonstrations to show them how stupid they are.”
“Take the job. Then you’ll be on the spot to remind him.” – MaryMoo95
“Oliver f*cking around: ‘This is awesome!!!’”
“Oliver finding out: “Aww, this sucks!” :-(“
“NTA” – Obi-Juan_Valdez
“NTA.”
“Make sure you circle the compensation with your brightest high lighter when you rub it in his face.”
“Hope you take the job and lord it over him for ages, leveling up again and again while he cries about how incompetent you are.” – ohhgrrl
“NTA! Take the job!”
“There is no guarantee that when Oliver applies that he will even get the job 😂, plus you have more job experience in the field than he does, so while he was belittling you for working, you were raking in the job experience.”
“Who says you need a master’s to succeed? You can always go back to school and get your master’s, which will still put you ahead of Oliver.”
“Good on you!!! Drown out the noise, and if it becomes too noisy, then you may have block people.” – mynahbird60
“NTA He went to great lengths to put you down, and you proved him wrong.”
“That he puts you down in front of family and they do not stop it shows that you are the scapegoat.”
“When you prove to everyone that you have evidence that what he says is B.S., but they still put you down and make you the bad guy again, shows you are well and truly the punching bag in that family.”
“It may be time to go N.C [no contact] and amputate the toxic.”
“You may have been driven to be petty, yes, but jealous, inferior, and a bully? No.” – Which_Pudding_4332
“Nta.”
“I laughed my a** off at this. Go enjoy your new job and kick a** wages” – 81optimus
“‘Go to such lengths’ like applying to this job and getting it was some Herculean task that you swindled someone out of.”
“Good lord. Congrats! Take the job!”
“Even if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be the a**hole. Weird family dynamic tho, though they’re quick to sh*t on you when you pull up with receipts, but just don’t defend you whatsoever with him.”
“Very odd indeed. Oh, and NTA” – goodvibess2020
“NTA. This reminds me of when I graduated college to be a chef.”
“My cousin worked at a particular place that was really, really good, and I was interested in starting my apprenticeship there. She was an apprentice too, but in her final year.”
“We were talking about it, and I said it would be great to do my apprenticeship there, even just to get started.”
“My Aunty and cousin quickly chimed in saying they’re not hiring and I should look somewhere else. I quickly shot back, saying I had an interview coming up (I got the job).”
“They both went dead silent and looked at each other for a sec, then looked away.”
“I know deep down they hated that I worked there, but I couldn’t care less. I’m so grateful for the learning experiences and the people I worked with.” – 3goldentickets
“NTA. If it’s more money and you feel you should move on, take the job.”
“Then he’ll have to wait for a new position to open up to work beside you.”
“That’s what I would do, but I’m Queen Petty so 🤷♀️” – Dizzy_Emotion7381
“NTA.”
“Your family has shown their true feelings when they allowed him to bully you, and then when you prove him utterly wrong, double down.”
“Keep being petty towards Oliver. It only makes you laugh while it enrages him.” – Balorio
“OP, I f*cking love you!”
“Take the Job, and don’t give a sh*t about your Cousin.”
“I’m also getting my Bachelor’s right now and plan to do my master’s as well.”
“However, I hate the people that completely disregard the incredible value experience has (which sounds like your cousin). So I might be very biased here.”
“NTA!” – Mr_Jacobsen
“Haha definitely NTA. Sounds like poor Oliver made a complete fool of himself and is so jealous!”
“I say good for you!! 👏🏻.”
“Who doesn’t want a better-paying job with less school time invested.”
“It was ok for Oliver to act childish and petty and competitive, but when you did it and “won”, now you’re TA.”
“His hypocrisy is absurd as well!! His “inferior complex” for him where he’s at.”
“Now he’s projecting that onto you. Your family sucks for not being happy for you.”
“Maybe next time poor Oliver will keep his mouth shut.” – jacksonlove3
“NTA.”
“Ya know, Oliver’s constantly putting you down and insisting that he had so much better job prospects than inferior you — which your family apparently tolerated without comment — set him up for this situation.”
“How is it petty to apply for a higher position and higher pay in your field?”
“It’s what people do to advance professionally.”
“It’s what you did to advance professionally, not because you have an inferiority complex (what inferiority complex?) but to get a better, higher paying position.”
“Were you supposed to refrain from applying for a better job for which you’re qualified because it would hurt Oliver’s feelings and prove him wrong about your relative positions in the professional world?’“
“Not on your life.”
“The one and only reason for you to possibly turn down this career advancement would be if Oliver would be in a position to sabotage you from below within the company.”
“(Because he’ll try.)”
“Otherwise, go right ahead and take this position and let Oliver follow you around having a hissy fit all the way to the bank where you open a new account for your much larger paycheck.” – Nester1953
Congrats to the OP on the new job and for proving their cousin wrong!