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Redditor Called Out For Refusing To Buy A Copy Of Girlfriend’s Book Since They Helped Edit It

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A since deleted Reddit account recently found themselves in a bit of a conundrum.

While their behavior was flagrant to most, the Original Poster (OP) was clueless to their mishap.

This confusion drove them to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

They asked:

“AITA for refusing to buy my girlfriend’s book?”

They went on to explain:

“So, my girlfriend (we live together) wrote, sold and published her first book. I think that it is amazing and I am very proud of her.”

“I believe that I was very supportive – participated in beta reading, had my hand in text editing (Edit 2: I did some changes in every single page; a lot of suggestions/editing…”)

“…I do not want to undermine what she did, but I really did spend a lot of time on this) and gave her a bunch of praise and critique.”

“We celebrated when she sold the book to the publisher and all, so I don’t believe that I was unsupportive.”

“However, she got very angry today because I refused to buy a physical copy of the book. I said that I just don’t get this. We live together.”

“What? Her argument is that we live in a small country, and every copy sold matters, and I should show support. I replied that the readers should buy her book, not her partner.”

“Anyhooo… AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“Eh it’s up to you, but I’m leaning towards yta. Personally, I would buy my partner’s book and get the very first personally signed copy to keep and proudly show it off, but you do you.”

“Will it break the bank to show her support? Will it hurt you to buy it?”

“It’s a pretty big deal to get signed with a publisher. Congrats to your girlfriend; I wish her all the success.” – PsychologicalRoll705


“It’s a gesture of support, she doesn’t care if you never read it again. She only cares that you believe in her enough to buy a copy.”

“There’s no point in giving someone flowers either, as they just die after a couple of days. It’s about the gesture and what it means to the person you bought them for.”

“If I were you, I’d be buying copies for friends and family to show my support, but that’s just me.” – northerntropicaz


“As an author, I would advise you to buy her book.”

“Signing on with a publisher is huge. Getting your first book printed is huge.”

“Having your SO refuse to buy it is hugely disappointing.”

“You think you’ve been supportive, but not buying the book makes it seem like all your previous efforts were just for show.”

“Like smiling and playing happy to indulge a toddler who handed you scribbled ‘picture’.”

“It’s unlikely that buying the book will break your bank, so why are you so reluctant? Seems like a weird hill to die on, and planting your flag in it is probably incredibly insulting for her.” – Bivagial


“I have a friend who is published. They write gay romance fantasy, and I don’t particularly enjoy the genre. (Nothing wrong with them, it’s just not my primary interest).”

“I still buy a physical copy of each of their books. I think it’s amazing that they are pursuing their dreams and I know often it’s very hard.”

“Honestly, she shouldn’t have had to ask you, it’s a basic kind of support, and it would have felt really validating and good for her, all for the inexpensive cost of one book.”

“Now, no matter what you do, she’s got the bad taste of having had to try to convince you.”

“One day, she’ll tell the man she ends up with about how awful this felt and give it as an example of how she realized what a bad choice you were.” – LadyCass79

“YTA. Definitely.”

“This is almighty cost certainly not about ‘we live in a small country and every copy sold matters.’”

“That is probably just her trying to appeal to your rational nature . . since you clearly have no sentimental side!”

“This is her first published book!!! This has probably been a lifelong dream of hers!! She probably wants you to show that you are proud of her, not just tell her that.”

“In your shoes, I would have rushed out to purchase a physical copy from a local book store, raved about ‘how eager I’ve been to read this book I heard so much about’…”

“…to the bookseller as I’m paying, then asked my girlfriend to sign my copy with a personal inscription.”

“Then I would have purchased a bookstand — or, heck, if I had the tools, I would have made a simple bookstand by hand…”

“…so I could prominently display my personalized, signed copy of the first published book of the woman I love in the home we share.”

“You know: celebrate her and the fulfillment of her goal.”

“Besides, you’ll want that signed copy to remember her by when she dumps your dull, unimaginative a**!” – sapient-meerkat

“YTA- what’s wrong with you?”

“As someone who has been married for a long time, let me let you in on a little secret that seems to elude the masses here:”

“Just do the little bullsh*t. Imagine a world where you said ‘ok’ and clicked ‘buy it now.’”

“But no, instead, you decided to make it an argument, including spending time asking complete strangers to validate your asinine behavior.”

“Why wouldn’t you have been like ‘of course but only if the author signs it!’ Right or wrong, you would have made someone you like (love?) happy, and it would have cost you very little.”

“I swear to god the number of posts that are like ‘my SO of 8 years says that Penne is superior to Spaghetti…’”

“‘…and after a 5-hour fight and the cops showing up, I’m writing this from my sister’s house where I’m currently staying. AITA?’” – Impossible_Grill

“YTA and a fool. You could have ordered a copy and excitedly asked her to sign it because you’re her biggest fan. Then you have a romantic dinner and get lucky.”

“Instead, you’re acting like supporting her / relationship stuff is a chore. Of course, she will be disappointed.”

“Buying a copy of her book isn’t even a grand gesture. Buying a case so you can give a copy to everyone you know as a gift is a grand gesture.” – CasualCrisis83

“If my partner published a book. I would buy a copy. In fact, I would buy many, and pass them out to everyone I know.”

“I would want a signed first edition.”

“But then again, I love my husband.”

“YTA.” – Ellejaek


“My partner is in a band. He’s put tonnes of work into it, hours of rehearsal, he wrote all the songs himself.”

“I bought tickets to his first show immediately, without being asked. And his second. I could’ve got in for free, but I didn’t.”

“Showing someone you love that you believe in them has no price tag.” – pepabysmalls

“I don’t really understand why you’re drawing the line where you are. You’ve supported her through the writing and editing process, but you can’t spare 20€/$/£ to purchase a copy?”

“Just buy the book. What’s the big deal? I’d have to say YTA.” – Weary_Locksmith_9689

“Eh, yah, I’m going to say YTA.”

“If I had a partner, family member, friend – doesn’t matter – that published their first book, I’d buy a copy in support of them because that just seems like the right thing to do.” – SDstartingOut


“The book is the materialization of everything she has worked on recently (with your help, of course).”

“Plus, it’s probably not that expensive for you and would make a huge impact for her.” – abigailmarstonn

“YTA. It doesn’t hurt you a little bit to buy one copy and ask her to sign it for you. It shows support and that you want to have one piece of this for future.”

“On the other hand, if not even her partner is willing to buy a copy of the book, what does it say for strangers? You are crushing her confidence.” – atealein

“YTA. It’s a gesture of support to buy it. My mum wrote and published a book. I bought the first copy. I don’t even like the book; I just wanted to support her.” – KittikatB

“When she is famous and selling millions of books, she can gift you one. This is her first book, and she is nervous about the success. You should be the first in line to show your support.”

“The fact she had to ask probably cost her a lot of pride, and you saying no makes you an even bigger a**hole. YTA.” – bsmiles07

“YTA. Why do you object to buying her book? It would mean the world to her. Her first published book is an incredible achievement.” – myblackandwhitecat

The OP went on to thank those who responded.

“EDIT: Thank you, good people of Reddit! I guess I am an a**hole and a fool. Will try to be better. Cheers. :)”

At least they acknowledge it.

Here’s hoping the book sells many copies, and it is only the first chapter in this writer’s career.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)