Friendships can end for all kinds of reasons, even incredibly surprising and petty reasons.
Perhaps a friendship could even end over a fancy handbag, entertained the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor TheEllaBullet made a sentimental and expensive purchase of a Louis Vuitton bag years ago and only used it for special and high-pressure situations.
When her best friend offered to take the bag with her to have it refurbished, the Original Poster (OP) gladly accepted, at least until her friend gave her a dupe instead of her original.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting by putting a bag before a friendship?"
The OP's friend, Clara, was a very special person in her life.
"Clara (35 Female) and I (33 Female) have been friends for roughly nine years."
"She’s supported me through a major breakup, I supported her through financial issues, and we have basically been a pillar in one another’s lives for quite some time."
"Needless to say, there was a lot of trust there."
The OP also had a Louis Vuitton bag that was a special fixture in her life.
"Back in my 20s, I bought myself a Louis Vuitton bag as a celebration for graduating from university."
"I’d use this bag whenever I felt I needed a confidence boost, because it made me feel like, if I could handle university, I could handle anything… I don’t know why, it’s just how my mind works, I guess."
When Clara offered to take it with her to Paris to have it refurbished, it seemed like a no-brainer.
"Well, this bag got quite a bit of wear and tear over the years (although I’d prefer to say she was well-loved)."
"Clara offered to get it refurbished for me while she was on holiday in Paris."
"I was apprehensive, but she insisted that it was a gift for helping her get back on her feet."
"She took the bag with her to Paris, and I thought little of it, until I got a job interview and needed my little confidence boost to complete my outfit. That’s when I realised that Clara got back from Paris in January and I still didn’t have the bag."
When the OP inquired about the bag, she quickly became concerned.
"I called her up to ask where it was, thinking she’d probably forgotten about it. I mean, I had, too, and she said it must be in her closet somewhere and that she’d dig it out."
"The interview wasn’t for a week, so I wasn’t worried."
"But then I heard nothing from her. No random TikToks in my DM’s, no questioning whether game night is a go-ahead that weekend, nothing."
"After four days, I called her again, and she said she’d be over that evening with the bag. Clara showed up, she handed me a Louis Vuitton box, and said she had to go… that was very unlike her, because usually we’d catch up a bit."
"As I was getting ready for my interview, I opened the box, pulled the bag out of the dust thingy, and noticed something was off."
"The 'leather' felt a little too raised, and the stitching seemed a little too bright."
u/TheEllaBullet/Reddit
The bag was worse than the OP thought.
"I didn’t have time to think about it just then, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way it didn’t feel the same."
"So when I got home, I inspected it closely."
"The zips are scratching, some of the inner stitching is loose, and the heat stamp has no numbering on it (as it does on authentic pieces)."
"This bag is fake."
u/TheEllaBullet/Reddit
The OP tried to get the truth out of her friend.
"I called Clara and asked her what happened with my bag."
"She stammered, saying that she had no idea what I meant. She said she’s outraged that the store did a bad job refurbishing, and that she’s going to call them to complain…"
"I’m sorry, what? This bag isn’t even real!"
The OP gave her friend an ultimatum.
"I called her out and told her that if I didn’t have the real bag back by the end of the weekend, she’d be gone from my life."
u/TheEllaBullet/Reddit
The OP was sick over the loss of two important things in her life.
"The deadline was three days ago, and Clara has been a ghost in the wind for almost a week."
"A couple of our mutuals say that I should keep the peace, while some others are outraged that she would essentially steal something sentimental."
"I can’t help feeling guilty because she’s been there through thick and thin with me."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some reassured the OP that Clara was putting a handbag before their friendship, not the OP.
"It sounds more like Clara is the one putting a bag before a friendship." - TararaBoomDA
"She just didn't steal something that was sentimental to OP. SHE KNEW it was sentimental and PLAYED that against OP to get access to the bag. That's how conniving Clara really is." - supresmooth
"I don’t think OP is the one making that choice. I learned the hard way that sometimes long-term friendships aren’t what you think they are."
"I had a friend like Ms. Clara over here. I thought we were besties. But in hindsight, I realized that every single time she supported me over our ten-year friendship, there was absolutely something in it for her."
"It took me a long time after our friendship breakup to even realize this. We actually fell out over (multiple instances of) stealing that she wouldn’t apologize for or admit to. It was easier to ghost me." - unwanted_peace
"I was trying to imagine scenarios where the friend was actually a friend. Like, maybe she really intended to get the bag some TLC, but it was stolen from her in Paris, and she didn't know how to tell OP, so she replaced it with what she could afford."
"But, yeah, no, giving OP a fake bag obviously can't happen for any good reason, so it means it was all intentional."
"I wonder if she really waited until OP called her out to get the fake bag, or if she just sat on it until OP called."
"I know nothing about bags, but it looks like OP is probably out several thousand dollars, and the fake friend probably sold it for a fraction of its value. (Or maybe she's audacious and unrepentant enough to keep it for herself?) Crazy." - ErraticDragon
"NOR, Clara is not the person you thought she was. She literally stole from you. And not only did she steal, but she stole something that was very sentimental to you."
"Grieve the loss of the friend you THOUGHT she was and move on. She may have been a friend to you at one time, but that time has passed. Now she is just a thief and a liar. I wish you all the best."
"Oh, and I would be suspicious of any of your friends who want you to forgive her. No true friend would think stealing from someone who trusted you is acceptable. And if they do, it may be because they are bad people as well." - Puzzleheaded_Cod1181
Others entertained filing a police report.
"I'd report it to the police and file a crime report of theft. Then I'd contact my home insurance company to see if it was covered." - Middle--Earth
"I would honestly report it as stolen, since you're not going to be friends, and you only recently learned the bag was gone and replaced with a fake. It's worth so much that it should be addressed there and in small claims court."
"I understand the desire to keep the peace, but I also feel it's so important what we hold people accountable for shifty behavior (on a societal level). Giving them a justifiably hard time for bad behavior when they think they're able to assert dominance or whatever and get away with it - that's not good for society at all." - veeehlkay
"I can’t believe reporting to police was not the FIRST suggestion!! At least have the cops visit her, if not, she’s going to do this to someone else! What kind of advice is that to keep the peace?! What the h**l?" - zmsend
"This isn’t so much about a bag as it is respect. But also, thousands of dollars."
"OP, the steps to consider are as follows. File a police report of the theft. They probably won’t do anything, but you now have documentation."
"Look for a lawyer; most plaintiffs' lawyers (the kind that sue) offer free consultations. Talk to one of them and ask them to send her a demand letter."
"Hopefully, that’s all it will take because she will realize she’s f**ked. She can either give you your bag back or give you the money to replace it. If she doesn’t, then she has to go hire a lawyer to represent her in a case she WILL lose."
"This friendship is over anyway, so go get your bag back. I’ve had mine since college, too, for the same reason; I would go scorched earth on anyone who harmed it." - ChickenCasagrande
Weeks after the return deadline and while reading the comments, Redditor TheEllaBullet shared a twist to the handbag heist that no one saw coming.
"It’s been a couple of weeks since the deadline I set for Clara to return the bag, and we didn’t talk that entire time… until one of our mutual friends (one who advised me to keep the peace) invited me to brunch yesterday."
"When I arrived at the café, the mutual friend said Clara was on her way, and we needed to talk. I thought I owed it to our friendship to hear her out."
"So here’s what actually happened…"
"Clara took the bag to an official Louis Vuitton store when she was in Paris, but given the fact that she wouldn’t be in the country for long, she arranged to have it delivered to her house when it was restored."
"She showed me the tracking information, and it arrived at her home in March. When it arrived, she left the bag in its box in her hallway, so she’d remember to bring it when she next saw me, but we hadn't seen each other in a while."
"Within the week of the bag arriving, Clara’s sister (we’ll call her Lola) went to Clara’s to borrow a dress for an event. Clara had to go out when Lola was trying on dresses, and trusting her sister to lock up, she left."
"When Clara got home, the LV box was gone, along with the bag."
"She called Lola repeatedly and got no answer. She messaged her relentlessly to no avail. Clara was panicking."
"Eventually, Clara went to their mother and told her what was going on, who then called Lola to tell her to give the bag back."
The fake Louis Vuitton bag wasn't Clara's doing after all.
"A few days later, a beaten-up LV box was on Clara’s doorstep."
"When I asked about the bag, Clara didn’t want to detail the whole ordeal because she was embarrassed. So she took the bag (which was still in its dust bag) out of the box and gave it to me."
"When I called her about the bag being fake, she genuinely had no idea what I was talking about; she just knew the box was ruined."
"At the time, she said she’d call the store to find out what happened, but really, she messaged Lola demanding to know where the real bag was."
"Lola responded, 'You wanted a bag, you got a bag,' and then blocked her on everything."
"Clara was in pieces, panicking and thinking that she’d destroyed our friendship. She turned to a couple of our friends because she was scared of how I would react to her sister's actions."
"At brunch, Clara showed me the messages through tears. Our mutual friend showed me Lola’s Instagram, where she’s holding my bag in some of the images."
The OP was relieved to see her friendship through new eyes.
"Clara was in tears, and I cried with her, because I realised that I was overreacting this whole time, and that I had automatically assumed the worst."
"As it stands, we’ve reported the bag as stolen and provided evidence against Lola. Clara’s parents aren’t happy, but understand that Clara has tried for months to sort this out, and that Lola needs to understand that her actions have consequences."
"I begged Clara to forgive me for how I handled it, and she laughed, saying she was about to beg me for forgiveness for not telling me what was happening this whole time."
"So I don’t have the bag back, but I do have my friendship… and from now on, I’ll try not to jump to conclusions."
Fellow Redditors were relieved that the friendship survived the drama.
"This actually turned way more heartbreaking than the original post. I feel bad for both of you, for real, and am so glad you two talked it out. What a loss that would have been!" - venusdrifter8
"Clara f**ked up repeatedly, but I’m glad you guys got things sorted out. It sounds like you really love each other."
"Also, f**k Lola. I'm glad she was reported to the police; she sounds like a b***h." - Simicrop
"Hot d**n. Once again, we have a great example of how accurate communication between all parties would completely prevent misunderstandings, LOL. I'm glad y'all worked it out, though!" - Immersi0nn
"Friendships are FAR more important than purses. Glad it worked out!" - Separate-Eye-7519
"I was about to respond to the last post, and I'm glad I read this first. I was going to say it appeared that SHE was putting the bag first, not you."
"I wish Clara would have just told you from the beginning what was going on. I understand why she didn't; it would make her look irresponsible (even though she really isn't). But NOT telling you made her look even worse. A wise friend might have told her, 'You need to tell her now!'"
"I'm glad for your mutual friend, who made peace between the two of you. It's hard to find good friends. Hate to lose them. It leaves a hole, no matter HOW you lost them." - GuinevereNikita
It is true that Clara could have been forthcoming about what happened from the moment that she returned home and saw that the Louis Vuitton box was missing from her hallway. Since they'd been friends for so long, the OP likely would have believed her that she left the box in her front hallway, only for her sister to play keepsies.
Clara then could have updated her as her sister's behavior worsened, so at least the OP would have known that while her purse was gone, her long-time friend was still her friend and had done all that she could.
