It seems that now more than ever, there are scams everywhere, just waiting for someone to fall for it. But none of us would ever expect one of our loved ones to be behind a scam, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Sweet-Sweet12 was excited about their sister’s wedding and even gifted her the money for an expensive honeymoon trip after the couple’s big day.
But when the couple announced that they were no longer planning to get married and didn’t need a wedding to “validate their love,” the Original Poster (OP) realized what had happened.
They asked the sub:
“AITAH for asking my sister to return the wedding gift I gave her after she canceled her wedding?”
The OP was surprised when their sister canceled their wedding plans.
“I gave my sister an expensive honeymoon trip as a wedding gift.”
“A week before the wedding, she and her fiancé canceled, saying they didn’t need a wedding to validate their love.”
The OP was even more surprised when their sister expected to keep their gift.
“Since the trip was specifically for their honeymoon, I asked if I could get the money back.”
“She was furious, saying the gift was hers regardless of the wedding, and our mom sided with her.”
“I didn’t mean to offend her. I feel like the purpose of the gift doesn’t exist anymore.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some theorized that the sister did all of this on purpose to receive free gifts.
“A week before?! Are we sure there was ever a wedding planned?!” – jupitersaturnuranus
“NTA. It sounds like they waited until they received all of their wedding gifts to decide they didn’t want a wedding. No wedding, no wedding gifts.” – mrs-poocasso69
“I wonder if there was even a real venue to begin with. If it was just a made-up place and then put it on the digital RSVP, there’s no money lost at all even canceled at the last second. It was a plan all along!” – Dangthatshuge
“Your sister is super-tacky. A gift-grabber. Yeck. Maybe ask her ex-fiance for the money back.”
“Also, keep referring to him as her ex-fiance every chance you get. Because that’s what he is!” – GalaxyGirlEtAl
“A HONEYMOON takes place once a WEDDING occurs. No wedding? No honeymoon. Your sister is being shady and cheap. She’s being embarrassing. Entitled. Trashy. Grifty. Choose your favorite.” – SafeWorld9999
“NTA. They conned you all out of gifts! Take that vacation back, OP.” – DesperateLobster69
“NTA. If your sister and her boyfriend don’t return everything to the people who gave money or gifts, they are stealing and breaking a contract.”
“All gifts were based on the wedding happening. They are greedy people.” – NoCommittee8697
“NTA. It’s customary to return wedding gifts if the marriage doesn’t happen. If she refuses, tell her fine… it’s now become birthday and Christmas gifts for the next 15 to 20 years, if you even want to keep her in your life.”
“I think I’d disown someone for something like this. Travel is expensive, and honeymoons are even more so.” – cachalker
“Seriously? No, you don’t get to keep wedding gifts when there’s no wedding.”
“You should be going on that trip instead of them if it can’t be refunded. Your mother should know better than this, and I bet she does, except she is favoring your sister.” – Worldly_Act5867
“There’s a similar concept known as fraud, where people plan weddings, collect gifts and contributions, but ultimately cancel the wedding while keeping the received items…”
“It sounds like your sister is one of those people. If I were you, I’d do my best to stay away from her and her future schemes.” – Vicoiin
“NTA for asking, but anyone who refuses is a huge AH. Sounds like this was the plan all along, without a wedding they had zero right to ask for all the freebies, so they faked a planned wedding, with zero intention of warning even her own sibling.”
“Betting your a**hat mom was in on it as a co-conspirator. How much is mommie dearest out of pocket, hmmm? Do you realize you and all the other guests can sue these toxic a**hats? You should start a scammer investigation on them all.” – Dont-Blame-Me333
“This was so gross of both of them. I hope Mr. and Mrs. Scammity Scamface enjoy never receiving gifts from their friends or family for the rest of their lives after this. Definitely NTA.” – hippiespinster
Others agreed and reassured the OP that they were right to ask for the money back.
“NTA, it was a scam. If you purchased the tickets and paid for the hotel, just call and cancel, not tell your sister. You do not need an expensive holiday to validate your love.” – No_Cockroach4248
“If the wedding is canceled, the gift should be returned or refunded, especially since it was specifically for their honeymoon.”
“It’s standard etiquette even when a marriage ends within the first year, and it’s fair for you to ask for the tickets or the money back. It’s not about being petty, it’s just reasonable considering the circumstances OP. NTA.” – valkyrierl_
“NTA. Your sister and her boyfriend should call everyone and offer to return the gift given to the couple. Some will say not to worry about it, but others, like you, OP, should get your money back. Or at least the tickets so you can enjoy what you paid for.”
“This is also the etiquette rule for when marriages end in the first year. In this case, no wedding, no prezzies.” – BigCoffeePot999
“Wedding canceled? Okay, honeymoon refunded. It’s common sense, not a personal attack. NTA.” – sweetycinnamonroll
“NTA. No wedding, no gift. That’s why it’s called a ‘wedding gift.’ You don’t get a wedding gift sans wedding.” – PlentyHopeful263
“Can you cancel the trip since you paid for it and get a refund?”
“Or change the booking into your name so you get the trip if it’s nonrefundable?”
“This is if you paid with a credit card and didn’t give her cash.” – fancy_underpantsy
“NTA. She owes you the money for the trip, or you cancel it, and she pays you back for the lost deposits. If she doesn’t, take her to small claims court for fraud, especially if you can find out if she ever really booked the venue. She sounds like a big liar.” – cajunjoel
“Yikes. I would go no contact with your sister. Your mother is catering to her, which I suspect has been going on for your sister’s entire life. NTA. Wish you could cancel her flights and hotel reservations, though.” – Bandie909
“It is customary to return gifts if the wedding does not take place. No one should have to ask for their gift to be returned. The sister is grifty.”
“It’s like Judge Judy says about engagement rings: they are a gift given in anticipation of marriage, and if there is no marriage, the engagement ring is returned unless the giver declines. How would wedding gifts given in advance not follow the same logic?”
“OP might have given cash for a venue instead and when that refund comes through, it’s not for the person who canceled, it’s for the person who offered to pay for the canceled event. Anyone who pulls this kind of switcheroo is a scam artist swindling their own family.” – ScowlyBrowSpinster
“You shouldn’t have to ask because the custom in Western society is to return wedding gifts when the wedding is canceled.”
“If you’re not hurting financially, I’d tell your sister that you hope she’s returning the rest of the gifts she was given, and you’ll trust her to save the money you gave her for her honeymoon for when she actually gets married, because you’ve already given her the wedding gift for her first wedding, regardless of when that wedding happens.”
“Also, NTA. Your sister sounds awful.” – Whisky-and-tiaras
“NTA. Tell her she’s to repay you in full by the end of the week or you will sue her. Tell her that she can’t cancel a wedding and expect to keep the gifts. They were a wedding present and with no wedding, the legality is the presents given with the expectation of a wedding need to be returned.”
“Tell her that you will not be shamed for her being a selfish greedy a**hole and that you can waste her money by taking her to court, but she broke the expected contract when giving a wedding gift, and as such she is legally responsible to pay it back and not use it.”
“Point out that a court will find in your favor and the nominal charge to do this will be far less for you than her stealing from you.”
“Tell your mum you’re disgusted by her trying to gaslight and manipulate you to even suggest you’re being selfish and that it’s disgusting how differently she treats you both. Say you expect a full apology or her to stay the heck away from you and to never try this crap with you again.”
“Tell her that you’re sure everyone will be interested to know your sister announced a fake wedding intent on canceling as soon as they got the presents just to steal them and manipulate and trick her family and friends.” – Sweet-Interview5620
Not only did the subReddit accuse the OP’s sister of scamming them, but they also believed that this had been the plan from the very beginning.
Instead of needing a wedding day and a marriage license to “validate their love,” it seems this couple needed gifts and an expensive vacation to confirm their connection instead.