Redditor throwawayaita172021 is a 27-year-old woman who lives with two flatmates.
One of them has very “conservative strict” parents who were planning to visit.
To prepare for their arrival, the roommate had requested for the other roommates to temporarily hide certain items that would reveal their LGBTQ lifestyle.
But no amount of hiding could prevent the drama to come.
When things went south, the Original Poster visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for getting angry at my flatmate’s parents and kicking them out?”
The OP wrote:
“I have two flatmates: ‘Ben’ (24 male) and ‘Kate’ (25 female).”
“This week Kate’s very conservative strict parents have come over for a visit and she asked us to hide all alcohol, cigarettes, films with mature content etc., not wear any revealing or very casual clothes and stop bringing our same-sex partners over for that period of time because they won’t appove of that.”
“l just went along with it since it’s only one week.”
“The first few days of her parents’ visit go by fine, we simply tried to avoid them. But when I came home from work today, thay have gone through my room and found stuff that Kate asked me to hide and some other things.”
“They immediately started lecturing me on how I have no decency and am going to hell.”
“I calmly said that they have no right snoop through other people’s private space and should put the things back.”
“Of course they tell me that I should ‘respect my elders.’ I kept trying to explain that my life is none of their business and if they’re offended by the fact that I smoke and date a woman, that’s their problem and they accused me of disrespecting their religion.”
“After I told them that that’s not religion, it’s just being a piece of rubbish, a huge argument escalated.”
“During the fight, Kate arrives and they immediately tell her that she can’t live with ‘unholy’ flatmates like Ben and me and they want her to move back in with them.”
“At this point I lose it and scream at them to pack their stuff and be gone in half an hour and threaten to call the police when they refuse.”
“Afterwards Kate told me that this incident might have ruined her relationship with her family because they might cut her off if she doesn’t move back home which she definitely doesn’t want to do.”
“I just remained silent because all I could think was ‘the rubbish took itself out’ and I of course couldn’t say that to her.”
“I feel like I have overreacted even though Kate’s parents shouldn’t have gone in my room.
“As it turns out her dad is also Indian if that matters.”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not wrong for kicking out Kate’s parents.
“NTA, not by a long shot! Parents going through their child’s ROOMMATES belongings? What kind of bat sh*t crazy people do this?”
“Your reaction was completely understandable, if not justified. I feel for the poor girl who had the unfortunate privilege to be born to them, but perhaps this is a good thing for her – it gives her an excuse to go NC, get out from under their thumb.z’ – Dramatic_Grocery_105
“What?? You’re 27. You don’t have to answer to your parents let alone someone else’s.”
“Kate has to make decisions for herself. You are not responsible for her relationship with her parents and what happens next. NTA.”– PepperJazzlike371
“They went through your personal private belongings, in your own home, they insulted you, told you that you were somehow disrespecting their religion by going about your life when they are total strangers and you even tried to hide the objectionable things from them so as to not offend them.”
“and then they tried to basically force your flatmate (their daughter) from your flat after THEIR bad behavior. Seems quite reasonable to me to kick them out after that.”
“Your flatmate might be fine with their behavior and want to go along with it but it ultimately was not her privacy that was violated, and not her that was disrespected.”
“She also invited them to stay in your flat knowing they had these extreme views and would do something like this if they found out, how can she expect you to accept shit from them like that when you have every right to be yourself in your own home??”
“NTA.” – nowletmejudgeyou
“Definitely not TA ! Who do they think they are? Your parents ? coming into YOUR home and going through your room as if they have the obligation to do so?”
“You’re definitely right thinking that the trash took itself out.” – brxwni
“10000% NTA. My only advice is to be supportive of Kate right now as she might need it after hopefully cutting off those toxic a**holes.” – houseofreturn
“NTA. Jesus Christ, that is your HOME. I’d kick them out right on their a**es!!”
“Kate needs to stop enabling this behavior, even though it’s very hard and unfortunately does not end well…. But this is your Home, that you help pay for.”
“You played their game to shut them up and then they disrespected you. kate has got to set firm boundaries.” – Crazyhowthatworks304
“NTA!! They have absolutely no right to go through your things while staying in your home.”
“I feel bad that Kate has parents like this and she has to hide her true self from them or be cut off. However, her relationship with her parents is not your fault nor your responsibility.”
“You tried to respect them and their beliefs and in return they blatantly disrespected you and your beliefs. They can kick rocks.” – mygoldenrubes
It’s a shame the incident caused tension between Kate and her parents enough for them to consider cutting her off.
And while the OP thinks she may have overreacted, a majority of Redditors believe her behavior was warranted after the parents violated her privacy.