Having fantasies is fun. But, some of those fantasies are meant to be just that.
At least until you live alone and can have some privacy. So, definitely not when you are living in a small 3 bedroom apartment with a roommate.
Redditor sexroomaita encountered this very issue with their roommate. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
They asked:
“AITA for telling my roommate he can’t have a ‘red room?'”
The Original Poster (OP) explained.
“I had to put a euphemism in the title. I’ve never read 50 Shades of Grey, but I basically understand it means ‘sex room.’ That’s what he’s trying to do.”
“Our third roommate moved out, but we both make more money now and honestly don’t want to invite a third person. My roommate wants to convert his old room into a sex haven.”
OP was confused about the reasoning.
“This guy doesn’t even get laid a lot. I’ve never protested him doing it in his room…now he wants a ‘sex room.’ I think he’s just been really horny in quarantine without a girlfriend.”
“I told him we weren’t going to have a sex room, and he told me I was being an asshole. I said that we both need to agree on what we do with the room, and I didn’t want it to become a sex room.”
“He asked me if I have any better ideas, and I admittedly don’t. He said that it should at least become a sex room until I do, and he said it shouldn’t even bother me because he won’t be having anybody in there until quarantine is over.”
“I asked what the point of having a sex room was then and he asked me what the point of not having one is.”
“I don’t want a f*cking sex room in my home, AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. I’d start by pointing out that, since you won’t be using the sex room, he’ll need to pay rent on two rooms for himself rather than just one.”
“But really I’d lean on how ‘having a sex room’ is going to be seen as weird and creepy, and practically guarantees he won’t get to use it.” ~ arseholierthanthou
“This. As a single woman, if a dude I was dating tried to take me to his own version of a ‘red room’ I’d be out of there so fast! Plus, I’m betting he’s no Christian Gray.” ~ Batcrazy27
“Yeah if I came home with this idiot and he had a ‘red room’ he wanted to take me to I’d be like Road Runner in Wile E Coyote meep meep and I would be out of there so fast I left smoke. A ‘red room’ is more something you build together in a committed relationship than something you bring tinder dates to.” ~ Midi58076
Some Redditors argued that doing that in a tiny apartment makes it weird.
“Absolutely! and it’s ten thousand times weirder when it’s a guy sharing another apartment with someone else. It’s one thing for a billionaire to have a red room in their secluded mansion, but it’s something else entirely when you imagine you can overhear a roommate watching Great British Bake Off in the living room.” ~ ItsJanetSnakeh0le
“Yeah exactly! If you have a massive mansion with more rooms than you can use, sure, make a sex room. But when the sex room is in an apartment with a roommate,”
“1) gross because I’m going to assume 2 single guys are sharing this sex room and who knows how many people have been in it or how well they clean it in between.”
“2) I’m going to have big questions about your life priorities if out of all the things you could do with your single spare room (library, home gym, movie room, move out and rent a 1br instead of sharing a 3br) you chose to make a sex room.” ~ beautyfashionaccount
Others shared their issue with the subject.
“I mean really, for the kinkster of limited means you rely a lot on multi-purpose space. Most sex stuff is actually made to be stored away for reasons that should be apparent.” ~ rogue_scholarx
“Yeah like… I’m kinky but I don’t want to set foot in the sex room of an apartment shared by platonic roommates. If they were a poly couple or something it would be one thing but I don’t want some dude high giving his bro over me.” ~ blinkingsandbeepings
“Having some experience with the Christian Gray flavor of sexuality, having a ‘red room’ is pretty rad in those circles since it allows you to do all the fun stuff that a bed doesn’t work for.”
“BUT that is typically not something you would want in a shared room, and you need a very good reputation in the scene (or fuck-you money to manipulate post-grads, looking at you 50 Shades…) and I can assure everyone here that this dude probably doesn’t have that reputation. If they had, they would not be pushing for a fucking sex room in a shared apartment.” ~ dirtyhappythoughts
Some shared ideas for the extra room.
“I just said that in my comment! I’m not sticking around for someone who read some BDSM slashfic and got the neato idea it lures women.”
“Most women I know would be more excited by a library.” ~ SwiggyBloodlust
“A library, a gym, an office, a gaming room… So many cool things to do with a spare room that don’t involve a messy hobby that the roommate is just getting into and doesn’t have the requisite err.. teammates for.” ~ soleceismical
“I probably wouldn’t even go over to OP’s place if I was a platonic friend of OP, knowing there is a sex room there. It’s just too awkward even though OP has nothing to do with the sex room.” ~ JaneEyreosmith
The bottom line is, since the room will be shared by both roommates, they should both agree on what to do with it.
Also, wouldn’t a home office be ideal considering the state of the world?