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Guy Livid When Secretly-Wealthy Wife Shares Their Prenup After His Family Calls Her A ‘Gold Digger’

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Money is everything.

I know we like to pretend it doesn’t matter.

It does.

And when people marry it is a real concern.

Case in point…

Redditor BlasianInvasions wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for sharing our 40-page prenup to my husband’s family after they called me a golddigger for years?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“For starters, my husband no longer talks to his family.”

“Except the few who were always nice to me.”

“He grew up in a family that has generational wealth and only cares about prestige.”

“‘Where did you go to school? What’s your job title? How much do you make? How much is your home?'”

“This is dinner conversation.”

“They hated me from the start because I ‘do not have their breeding’- their actual words – and they were beyond rude to me.”

“I grew up in a working class family.”

“My dad is a tradesman and my mom is a teacher.”

“We grew up middle class and I had a happy childhood.”

“My husband resents his parents because they sent him off to boarding school and never paid him attention.”

“When he met my family, they welcomed him immediately and treated him like a son.”

“It was the attention he never had and he would do anything for my family.”

“At our wedding, his cousins made a scene about how ‘poorly dressed’ my family was, particularly my dad.”

“And made them feel bad because they weren’t wearing brand name clothes.”

“My husband spent part of our wedding consoling MY family members about how rude HIS family was being.”

“Our families had not interacted much before this but after, he decided, on his own, that he would never speak to some of his family again.”

“Here’s the kicker. While my family is not rich, I am.”

“I started my own software company and sold it for over $5 million in 2010.”

“I took most of that and invested in technology stocks.”

“My net worth is 8 figures whereas my husband has a trust in the 7 figures.”

“We just don’t flash fancy cars, an absurd home, or brand name everything.”

“The recent drama started with his uncle.”

“His aunt stays in contact with us and she’s one of the few who are genuinely nice, like showing up to help me after I had surgery.”

“However, her husband is an open racist and was heard screaming in the background ‘ask your nephew why he’s still with that [slur] golddigger.'”

“Opposites really do attract.”

“Let’s be real.”

“I know many in his family hate me because I’m not white but they definitely also hate me because they think I’m poor.”

“His uncle made another comment about how I brainwashed my husband to buy our new apartment.”

“Meanwhile, I purchased it and it’s in my name.”

“I’ve heard it all before from them but something about how his uncle said it really pissed me off and I had enough.”

“So I sent an email to several of his family members with our prenup showing the long list of assets under my name.”

“This shut them up good.”

“In fact, I’ve noticed some of his cousins acting a lot nicer lately.”

“This did not sit well with my family or my husband.”

“My husband doesn’t care that they know we have a prenup but he didn’t want them to know how much I have.”

“He is more worried that his family will try to leech off me now.”

“Very ironic. I don’t regret my actions but my husband keeps saying I messed up.”

“AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole. 

It’s a tricky situation.

Let’s hear some thoughts…

“I’m gonna say NTA, but your husband is right.”

“You definitely messed up in your moment of anger.”

“You let them get the better of you, and now you’ve shared your private business with huge AHs, and for what? Their approval?”

“I feel like you made a mistake and should acknowledge that and try to learn from it.”  ~ SyverilThis.

“People like that suck up to those richer than themselves every bit as hard as they look down on those they know (or in your case think) to be poorer.”

“Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.”

“I’d go NC but your husband should be consulted on this, like he should have been consulted on your previous decision.”

“Which I think was mistaken but understandable. NTA though.”  ~ HerefsAndrew

“Kudos to you. You and your hubby sound like awesome people.”

“NTA, but I can’t understand why you bother with his family.”

“It seems pretty clear he’s happy to cut people out when they disrespect you, so why haven’t you stopped talking to them?”

“I get that his aunt is nice to your face and she’s with his uncle for the money… But c’mon.”

“If she knows her husband is a racist human waste receptacle.”

“Why is she even talking to you near him?”

“Why do people still have access to you enough for you to hear everything they say about you?”

“It sounds unnecessarily exhausting. Your husband doesn’t like them.”

“You don’t like them. They don’t treat either of you with respect.”

“Why keep them around?”  ~ lipbyte

“You sound like a genuinely nice person, OP. NTA, there is only so much bickering one can take.”

“I see your husband’s point but you don’t sound like a push-over and I think you have this covered.”

“Just having them shut up is totally worth it.”

“And it’s easier for him to say you should not share the prenup as he is not the target of their nastiness.”

“This little revelation really flips the script on them, be proud of your achievements.”

“People have already had plenty of time to show their true colors.”

“So you know what you’re dealing with.”

“You’re a saint for having held your tongue this long.”

“As the saying goes, money can’t buy class, eh?”  ~ DeeDionisia

“100% this OP.’

“NTA… and I bet it felt soooo good but like, that’s info that none of them really should have.”

“That means going forward you won’t know what to expect from them.”

“The only thing you know is that now they are likely to totally flip the script on how they treat you but only for shitty superficial reasons.”

“In the long run it’s just going to hurt you more… sorry they suck so much.” ~ KuhLealKhaos

“Here’s the thing. You shut them up by satisfying their standards.”

“They act nicer because you conformed to their value system by flaunting wealth.”

“Anyway you describe them as awful so what’s really the question here? NTA.” ~ NeighborhoodTrolly

OP came back to chat…

“ETA: Wanted to clarify a few things since I just learned that I can add more text in an edit.”

“I sent the whole prenup doc but over half of it was redacted, including much of my husband’s info and mine.””

“I didn’t even show them half of what I have and certainly not account numbers.”

“I have cut childhood ‘friends’ out of my life for trying to pull a fast one.”

“So I’m not going to be tricked by his superficial family members who have already shown me their true colors.”

“My husband knew I was going to do this but has tried to talk me out of it for my benefit, as he says.”

“I’ve been talking about this for years.”

“Everyone in his family knew that we had a prenup; they just didn’t know it was me that pushed for one.”

“For those looking for an episode 2, I’ll keep you posted, but they’ve been fake nice lately and asking how I’m doing that day, etc.”

“Previously, these people would open by saying things like ‘have you checked your wallet today?’ to my husband.”

“My personal belongings don’t define me.”

“For one, I still drive a Toyota Corolla 2010 – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

“I care about life experiences and treating people with respect, kindness, and empathy.”

“I believe that’s what makes a classy person.”

“I feel the need to clarify that my husband and I have tried to tell his family that I’m doing fine for years.”

“Of course that’s the first step we took, but they just didn’t believe that a mixed Black woman could have wealth.”

“They would flat out say, ‘don’t let her trick you.'”

“Also, as for why he still talks to his family.”

“It’s easy to say don’t talk to them, but there are a handful that he is close with, who supported/raised him and hates how the rest of the family behaves as much as we do.”

“It’s not fair for me to say cut them all off when he has bonds to some, and I also like those same handful as well.”

“Unfortunately, this does give us the occasional exposure to the rest of his family.” 

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

But it also sounds like you have all of this under control.

Let the family do their thing.

You’re above it all.