Most of us are taught at a very young age that "sharing is caring."
And indeed, those who are lucky to be well off often eagerly share their wealth and privilege with those less fortunate in some capacity.
Particularly if the latter category includes their friends and family.
However, those who do so do it from the kindness of their own hearts, as this can't be forced on them.
Nor should it necessarily be expected.
The brother-in-law (BIL) of Redditor Low-Assistant-4712 had fallen on somewhat hard times and continued to look for easy solutions to his problems.
While he continued to have no luck in his efforts, the original poster (OP) unexpectedly came into a sizable amount of money.
Money, his BIL, as well as the rest of his family, expected him to share with them, something he flatly refused.
After being called "selfish" for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole Here" (AITAH).
Unlike the similar "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA) subReddit, AITAH allows Redditors to ask for advice on issues that are not permitted on AITA, such as asking for advice or posting about ending relationships. Nor are voting acronyms required or a final judgment declared.
The OP asked fellow Redditors:
"AITAH For not sharing my Lottery scratch off winnings with my Sister and Brother in law?"
The OP explained how his apparent good luck quickly put him at odds with the rest of his family:
"Hi I'm 33 M[ale]."
"To make this short and readable, my elder sister lets her husband spend anywhere from $400 to even $800 a month on scratch off tickets."
"He buys the $20 and $50 tickets."
"At the same time as he does that, both he and my sister will complain to other family members and anyone that will listen that they are 'struggling financially'."
"Now to the meat of the actual AITAH."
"My brother in law 35M, road with me to a gas station."
"Once there, he proceeded to waste $520 on scratch offs, which were all duds."
"Seeing me silently judge him, he told me to stop being a stick in the mud and buy a ticket."
"So I pulled a single dollar bill out, and bought the Halloween themed scratch off."
"This all took place in October 2025."
"As I was lamenting to him on how much money he wastes every month, I finish scratching off the ticket only to find out one of my matching numbers was above a $10k winning."
"Upon further inspection, I'd forgotten to scratch the 'double' area."
"When I did it came up '2X' to which the kind cashier confirmed it meant I had won $20K."
"My brother-in-law immediately cycled through emotions before demanding I hand the ticket over for him to see, then making a scene in the gas station when I asked to borrow a pen and started filling out the back of the card."
"From there, chaos rained down on me, as not only did my brother-in-law but my sister as well attempted to gaslight me into ' at least' splitting the winnings with them."
"I told them no."
"Fast forward a few days and now my parents whom are in their late 60's are gaslighting me into forking over $10k of the lottery winnings."
"I tell them no."
"Fast forward again, and in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner at my Parents place."
"They, along with my sister, brother-in-law, and my other siblings, start verbally cornering me about money."
"Now not only do still want the $10K from me, but my other siblings want some as well."
"With my eldest brother attempting to convince me to pay for a family vacation."
"I again turn them all down, which of course turns into everyone calling me selfish, and a88hole, amongst other colorful words."
"So am I the A88hole for not forking over my scratch off winnings?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, with some using the voting acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for refusing to share their winnings with their family:
Everyone agreed that as the OP paid for the lottery ticket himself, he had every right to do whatever he so chose with the money:
"NTA."
"You bought the ticket with your money, you get the winnings."
"Be sure to tell BIL that he's been doing it wrong all these years, and that's why he doesn't win."
"You have to buy 1 -$1 ticket, not 20 -$20 tickets."- el_grande_ricardo
"NTA."
"Tell them you donated it to charity for the tax write off."- koffeecup8469
"Obviously NTA, none of these people have any claim on your winnings."- Daddinator1701
"Lol."
"NTA."
"It’s refreshing to read about someone said no and sticking to what they said."
"Imagine calling someone a selfish a**hole while being greedy selfish a**holes."
"People in glass houses and all that sh*t."
"After taxes which is about 40% means you will get $12k."
"So they expect you to share $12k with two bums who have wasted way more than $12k on lottery tickets?"
"Then fund another idiots family vacation?"
"Again with $12k?"
"All of them, including your parents, are financially illiterate and greedy AF."
"We all know had they won they wouldn’t give you a thin dime."- Ok_Tonight_3703
"20k isn’t f* you money."
"It’s enough to get ahead a bit and have some safety net."
"NTA, don’t give them any money."- Altruistic_Storage_3
"Tell them you used it to pay off somz cc debts or study loans or car paiements (whatever) and you still have some debts left."
"As they wanted to be part of your earnings, ask them if they want to help you pay off your debts?"
"NTA."
"Your money."- Puzzled-Dream1321
"Are they slow, you paid for the ticket, you won, it's your money."- WestStrength2719
"Tell them the best way to get $10k is to not spend $500 on lottery tickets a few times."
"Obviously your brother-in-law has a gambling problem, so enabling that would make you an a**hole."- noirrespect
"NTA."
"Tell this the money is gone."
"You used it all on lottery tickets."- mltrout715
"If they were decent, I would take them out to a nice dinner at your expense."
"I wouldn’t give them a cent."
"Congratulations!"- Southern_Gur9825
"NTA at all."
"Your family are all classless vultures."
"Don't give them a damn thing."- Josefu_Velen
"NTA."
"This is why it's recommended to not let people know you've won anything."
"Too bad BIL was there when you won."
"They're acting like you've hit the jackpot when you're probably going to end up with $10-12k after taxes."
"A nice amount, but not enough for a family vacation or to share if you're wanting to actually do anything with your winnings."
"I agree with another commentor to tell them you donated it."
"I'd go the 'I didn't want money to tear the family apart' route."
"In fact, after their appalling greed I wouldn't get them gifts in the future."
"Just make a donation in their name to a charity instead."
" Use the money how you want."- ApprehensiveBook4214
"It’s funny how everyone else knows what YOU should do with your winnings."
"Nobody has your best interest at heart."
"Nobody suggested you save it or buy something you’ve always wanted."
"They want their share."
"You are NOT the ah."- Antique-Nose-5604
"Your bro-in-law and wife are gambling addicts and pissed off you won right off the bat."
"They would spend 10k on scratch offs then ask you for more money."
"Give them nothing."
"Nothing will satisfy an addict, nothing."- Cactus_Flower_45
"Tell them you spent it all on $50 & $100 scratch offs."
"They were duds."
"That first winner locked you in, and you just didn’t realize how quick it added up."
"Really man, you were judgmental before, but now?"
"You completely understand why they’re so poor now."
"Then ask everyone for $20."- Not4Naught
"NTA."
"This is why i will never scratch off a ticket in front of someone."
"Even when bosses/coworkers give them out for Xmas or whatever ….. hell no."
"People are f*cking animals."
"You don’t owe them one f*cking cent."- Suspicious_Juice717
"Reminds me of my mom's best friend (gambling addict) telling my mom that she (my mom) needs to pay her ('friend') $2k for a ride home after the friend lost $5k and my mom won $10k on slots at the local casino."
"The 'friend' called my mom a 'f*cking bitch' when she hit the jackpot."
'The friendship went cold after that."- muphasta
Had the OP's BIL bought the lottery ticket, he would have a bit more of an argument.
But even then, if he bought the ticket, then gifted it to the OP, that still arguably makes the winnings the OP's as well.
Even so, the OP has learned what almost any major lottery winner learns soon enough, which is that money truly cannot buy happiness.
