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Woman Called Out For Wearing ‘Colossally Large’ Engagement Ring To Sister’s Engagement Party

Woman showing off engagement ring.
krblokhin/Getty Images

There isn’t a more frustrating feeling than having your thunder stolen.

Indeed, purposely upstaging someone in their moment in the sun is never a kind thing to do.

Sometimes, however, people might take the spotlight away from someone else having no intention of doing so.

Even if the fact that it was an accident doesn’t ease the pain at the moment.

Redditor throwaway_ringdrama infuriated her stepsister and soon-to-be brother-in-law, who felt that she completely stole her thunder at a recent family gathering.

All owing to a single piece of jewelry.

Wondering if she had done anything wrong, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for wearing my engagement ring when I knew my stepsister was getting engaged?”

The OP explained how she didn’t think much about wearing a notable accessory to a special party, even though it was the only thing her stepsister could notice all night.

“I (28 F[emale]) got engaged at the beginning of December.”

“For Christmas, I was staying with my mum and stepdad, and they were hosting my stepdad’s whole family (stepsiblings, mother, brothers, cousins + families) for a New Year’s party.”

“Prior to this, my stepsister (29 F) Rachel’s (now) fiancé Matt informed my parents that he was going to propose and asked if it would be okay to do it at the party, and my parents agreed.”

“For the party, everyone was dressing up, and obviously (to me) I was wearing my engagement ring.”

“Everybody already knew I was engaged but it was the first time they’d seen the ring in person, so at the start of the party, everyone was interested in seeing it.”

“I did notice Matt was being a bit cold with me but I thought it was nerves.”

“The proposal happened and it was beautiful.”

“Everyone congratulated Rachel but it was kind of a 50/50 on people wanting to look at and compliment her ring and mine.”

“A lot of comparisons were made, nothing unkind, and everyone was really happy for Rachel, as was I.”

“The day after, Rachel and Matt blew up about me wearing my ring to the party.”

“Rachel said I was deliberately trying to draw attention to myself on her special night, and that since I knew beforehand she was getting engaged I shouldn’t have worn my ring, since I don’t always wear it anyway.”

“I don’t really agree with this, since I’ve been engaged for weeks, and everyone already knew about it, it’s not like I stole her thunder, nor did I intend to by wearing my ring.”

“I wore it because I’m engaged so it’s what you do. Matt then accused me of embarrassing him by wearing my ‘colossally large’ ring when I knew Rachel’s wouldn’t be anywhere near as big, and intentionally showing him up in front of the family.”

“He even went on about the other jewellery I wore.”

“My stepdad called them both stupid for their outburst.”

“My stepbrother says there’s no way I could have known that’s how they’d feel, it’s not like they asked me not to wear it.”

“My mum says while she knows I didn’t do it deliberately she can see where Rachel is coming from since everyone preferred my ring to hers.”

“She also said that given that my ring is quite unique, I should have considered it would draw attention.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community was in agreed that the OP did nothing wrong by wearing her engagement ring to her stepsister’s engagement party,

Everyone agreed that as everyone knew the OP was engaged, and she didn’t deliberately make a show of it, she did nothing wrong, and Rachel and Matt should not have been so focused on the ring.


“You are engaged, it is normal for you to wear your ring especially at family occasions!”

“What’s next, can you not bring your husband to their wedding because any reminder that anyone else has ever gotten married would be upstaging their day?”- rainyreminder

“NTA you dont stop being engaged just because other people get engaged.”

“Also, if he feels you stole the thunder because your ring is nicer, he’s completely missing the point of marriage.”-JegHaderStatistik


“You didn’t get engaged at the party, people already knew you were engaged, and this was an annual holiday get together where people hadn’t seen you in person for a while.”

“Rachel and Matt are being silly, and your stepdad is right, this was stupid.”- snarkisms

“NTA and I like your stepdad.”- JsCTmav

“Will you be allowed to wear your wedding ring to their wedding or will it embarrass Matt when people compare it to Rachel’s?”

“NTA.”- mister_barfly75

“NTA, I feel like it would be more odd if you recently got engaged and DIDN’T wear your ring out.”-Lost_Rat_

“So Rachel is more concerned with the size of her ring than her boyfriend wants to marry her?”

“NTA and she probably isn’t mature to survive marriage.”- everyonemustlovecats


“Ask your mom if she plans on not wearing her wedding ring to Rachel’s wedding (or your own wedding).”

“Cause like…there’s always a possibility she’d be stealing some focus, and drawing some attention.”

“Those wedding days are for one wedding ring only, and it ain’t hers.”- ndcollector

“NTA why would you hide your ring?”

“No one does that.”

“They sound self centered AF.”- joeswastedtime

“NTA you’re engaged.”

“You have a ring.”

“You wore the ring.”

“They sound precious.”- UsuallyWrite2


“Wearing your engagement ring when you’re engaged is a perfectly normal thing to do.”

“Glad most of your family is on your side.”- possumprints


“He knew you were engaged when he arranged the proposal.”

“It was his decision to do it while you were there.”

“You didn’t do anything malicious, I’m sure you would have worn it if the proposal wasn’t going to happen.”

“It’s not your fault he’s insecure over the ring he bought.”- MerlinBiggs


“They sound immature, more concerned about ring comparisons than the engagement and what it means.”

“If they got engaged a day before the party, would only Rachel be able to wear her ring?”

“Congrats!”- travelkmac


“‘I don’t really agree with this, since I’ve been engaged for weeks, and everyone already knew about it’.”

“This is all that needs to be said.”

“Your stepdad is right.”

“Not everything in this world needs to be about the bride.”

“Also, you’re also about to be a bride.”

“You have the same right to show off your engagement ring as she does.”

“When she gets pregnant, will you have to hide your toddlers until she gives birth?”

“Same stupidity, different topic.”

“Good luck on your wedding.”- KronkLaSworda


“Of course, you would wear the engagement ring.”

“That’s what they are for. If he wanted something different, which he’s not entitled to, he could have asked you in advance.”

“Tell her she’s welcome to wear her engagement ring at your wedding.”- GundyGalois

“Um so NYE belongs to Rachel?”

“And you’re supposed to wear your ring if you want to. Like what?”


“I believe this is the rise of the bridezilla.”- jennip3o

“NTA your stepsister and fiancé sound insufferable and jealous.”

“They’re making this into a competition for no reason.”

“Your stepdad is right lol.”-MelodicWhole1083


“What a bunch of twerps.”

“Also now I kind of want to see your ‘colossally large’ ring lol.”- poofandmook

“NTA, they sound unhinged.”

“Good stepdad.”- Dazzling_Cake1654


“People already knew you’re engaged and therefore expected you to be wearing your ring.”

“If you hadn’t of worn it I’m sure people would have asked why you weren’t and it still would have drawn attention, so they’d be pissy about you purposely not wearing it making everyone focus on you to ask about it.”- weatherwaxisgod

“It would be ridiculous to require any engaged/married person to remove their rings any time another couple might want to get engaged, and that’s only a step above not wanting you to wear your ring.”

“They were acting incredibly self centered.”

“It’s not as is a new years proposal is in any way a unique event.”

“NTA and good luck with the petty BS you’re going to deal with from them when the wedding planning starts for both weddings!”- Diligent-Activity-70


“Your step dad is right.”

“They’re being stupid.”- Imaginary_Being1949


“If you want some petty revenge, accuse Matt of trying to steal your engagement limelight.”

“You got engaged a few weeks ago, but no one had seen your ring or had the chance to celebrate with you in person until this night.”

“He should’ve allowed you and your fiancé the chance to enjoy celebrations and attention instead of stealing it all for himself and your stepsister.”

“I personally think they’re both totally ridiculous, but hey! What’s some petty revenge between siblings?”- OK_LK

Perhaps the saddest thing about Rachel’s jealousy, was she didn’t think it was possible for her and the OP to be happy for each other.

After all, an engagement is about so much more than a ring.

One can only hope that a similar occurrence won’t happen at either of their weddings.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.