Charging friends for services rendered can be awkward.
But people need to be paid in order to live.
But what happens when a mistake is made during the services?
How does this change the price plan?
Especially when all the parties are culpable.
Redditor zzalmoxiss wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"WIBTA if I charge for a coverup of a nasty tattoo I did?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I'm one year into tattooing, and this is the first coverup I've done of a tattoo."
"I tattooed an Arabic saying on a girl's back a few weeks ago, and we both thought it translated to 'appreciate life' because the translation was right under the Arabic words in the photo she sent me."
"A few days ago, she texted me saying that she wants me to delete the picture of her tattoo off of my page because it actually translates to something awful."
"I was so shocked. I ran the pic through the translate lens myself like 5 times, and the tattoo did, in fact, mean something gross."
"I usually check what clients' tattoos mean beforehand when they are in a foreign language, but I did not check this one because the translation came with the reference picture."
"I quickly deleted the post and told her that I'm happy to work on a coverup together if she's down for it."
"She was, and I finished the design today."
"She likes it, and we are gonna do it."
"The thing is, I feel very guilty about this whole thing because it never happened to me before."
"I feel really sorry that I put that on someone's body, and I am very happy to cover it, but I feel SO ashamed of charging her for this coverup because I somehow feel like it's my fault."
"I, as the artist, should have checked the translation, and I'm afraid that there is a possibility that she thought the coverup was free."
"So when I tell her a price, she will blame me for the tattoo and end up on bad terms."
"It was her first tattoo, and we have a common friend, so she may think that I offered my coverup services as an apology, but to be honest, I don't even know if I did anything wrong???"
"Maybe I'm overthinking."
"I'm so conflicted, and I don't know what to do."
"On one side, I do feel for her, and I want to help her, but on the other side, this is a complex tattoo that I can't really afford to give out for free."
"If she was my friend, I would totally do it for free, but she's a friend's G[irl]F[riend]'s friend, so I don't even know what our status is to be able to give out my resources like that."
The OP was left to wonder:
"WIBTA if I charge her for this coverup? IF I do, I will cut it down a lot though."
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NAH. If the client brings something in a foreign language and says, 'Tattoo this on me,' I think you should have a policy of telling them that you don't know what it says and will take no responsibility if it doesn't mean what they think it means."
"It might be a good idea to have that in writing if you agree to any such tattoos in the future."
"Check out the policies others have in place."
"If they asked you to design a tattoo and the writing was what you came up with, then the responsibility would be on you (which is why doing that would not be a good idea unless you were sure you knew what you were doing)."
"The reason I say NAH is because ideally, you should have dealt with this issue from the start, with a policy in place, a warning that you can't take responsibility for a reference they bring you that's in a foreign language, and so on."
"You also should have made it clear whether the cover-up would be free or whether you were going to charge for it at the time you offered to do it."
"This isn't really a matter of you being an A or not, but a lesson for the future."
"There's no simple answer here because the best option isn't possible now."
"If you offer to do it for free (telling them that even though this is not your fault, you'll do it as a once off -- this isn't policy) you avoid any negative reaction, but you risk her telling others creating this kind of expectation (if there's some problem, even if caused on my end, the cover-up is free) -- but you can manage that by having a clear policy in place before anyone else requests something similar." ~ kurokomainu
"I agree with all of this."
"Sadly, it won't help now, but policies usually come from a place of experience as to why they're now needed. "
"OP, you could always give her a discount for the coverup, say 25% off or something, but I wouldn't apologize or say you're responsible for the mistake, and I would offer the discount prior to her coming in so you're both on the same page."
"It would be a lot worse if she came in for the coverup, thinking it was free and didn't have the money for it." ~ These-Buy-4898
"This is the way."
"I would send her a message saying something like... It is unfortunate that the original tattoo had a different translation than what was presented in the source material and could've been prevented if the script had been more thoroughly researched."
"Fortunately, it is not a huge detailed piece, and we can alter it into something cool with a cover-up."
"This is the piece I've come up with, and I just want to finalize the design to ensure no alterations are needed before your appointment."
"As this was your first tattoo, I want to make sure your experience doesn't change your outlook on getting more ink in the future."
"So I'm going to discount this one and just use the original $xx as a deposit towards the cover-up."
"I hope this helps to put your mind at ease whenever you're ready for your next tattoo." ~ holdtightbro
"This is it."
"I would offer to do the cover-up at the cost of materials (possibly something for your time depending on how much time the planned cover-up is going to take) and then put a policy in writing for the future."
"Give her a deal as goodwill and make things clear for future clients."
"This is not your fault at all but giving a discount will help mitigate any possible bad feelings from this client." ~ Just-some-moran
"You're NTA for charging her for the cover-up."
"You made a mistake, but you're still providing a service and putting in your time and skill to create a new tattoo."
"It's fair to communicate the price, especially since you're cutting it down to help her out."
"Just be honest with her about the situation and that you understand her feelings."
"If she's a reasonable person, she should appreciate your honesty and effort."
"Also, both of you should have searched for the meaning of it, not just you." ~ sweetalessia
"Maybe I'm being a little cynical here, but a part of me suspects that this girl may have done this deliberately to scam OP."
"If OP does this for free (which they absolutely should not) then she will have gotten a larger, custom-designed, potentially color tattoo for the price of a smaller, presumably non-colored tattoo consisting of only words with no design input from an artist."
"Potentially we're talking about her getting a £100 or more tattoo for more like £30."
"The most OP should do is reduce the fee for the cover-up by the amount they charged for the original, so that way if she is scamming him, she'll have failed on that front."
"And, if this wasn't an attempted scam by her, then it's honestly still her responsibility to check the translation when she's asking the tattooist to tattoo a specific foreign word or phrase."
"And obviously, OP is NTA." ~ Internet-Dick-Joke
"I agree."
"Especially with access to any information in the world in your pocket, if she was too lazy to do a quick Google to confirm the information, that's on her. NTA." ~ almaperdida99
"NTA. You are not responsible for someone else's decisions or lack of investigation."
"However, as you usually check translations, you know it's better to check for yourself than end up in this situation."
"You'll feel better if you help her, even if ultimately the blame for this mistake lies with the client."
"Charge her, give her a heavy discount, and let both of you learn from this mistake."
"Do not do a tattoo again without checking the translation for yourself and getting the client to confirm on the record that's what they want to save you the hassle."
"Hopefully, the client will be more careful going forward herself."
"Hope the cover-up goes well!" ~ mosstalgia
"Hello, fellow tattooer here."
"NTA. The translation of any tattoo is 100% the client's responsibility."
"We have several points during the tattooing process where they can pick up on it."
"It's her fault."
"You charge for the cover-up." ~ OnsidianInks
OP came back with some information...
"To be more specific..."
"I did not make the writing design myself, I just copied the picture she sent me."
"The picture she sent me had the design and 'appreciate life' under it as translation."
"I'm calling the tattoo nasty because it is."
"It actually translates to 'I'm rotten.'"
"After further research, I found that the picture she sent me circulated on Tumblr a few years ago as a meme but we obviously were not aware of that."
"It's just words on a white background."
"I've never had so many people comment on my post."
"I've tried to read everything and I finally made my decision."
"Thank you all for the help, truly!"
Reddit continued to weigh in.
"Meet halfway maybe?"
"As a collector of skin art, it's my responsibility to make sure I'm giving you the right thing."
"So that's on her."
"You as the professional that has been doing this for a year are probably looking to build a return customer base, you should make sure we aren't doing ourselves wrong because you are the professional." ~ SeaDifficulty3527
"NTA... charge her."
"It's not your fault that the words she gave you to put on her body said something awful."
"This is completely 100%, absolutely the client's fault."
"You shouldn't be doing the second tattoo free of charge."
"If you feel bad about it and you want to be really nice maybe give her a discount."
"But do not do it for free."
"That is a terrible precedent to set." ~ broke_wing
"NAH, I would do this at a heavily discounted rate, mainly as I suspect you feel so bad about it even though you did nothing wrong, by the sounds of it you'll feel worse if you make money from it."
"Doing it at a discounted rate will make her feel a lot better and you prob will too." ~ Acceptable_Bunch_586
"You are a tattoo artist, not a research assistant."
"It's not up to you to police what people want on their bodies as long as it's not racist or offensive."
"However saying that you are offering a service and are in a profession where reputation and word of mouth is important - you want those nice big jobs and people recommending you."
"How about you go halfway and don't charge her for your time, just the cost of the materials? NAH." ~ Only_Fig4582
"NAH... I know what I'd do for my own conscience, but you can't be held accountable for someone deciding to have a tumbler meme tattooed on them without even putting it into Google first."
"There's definitely an expectation of due diligence on the part of the client that they know what they're asking for." ~ 1568314
"NTA. What she wants on her body is not your responsibility."
"If she tells you the text has a specific meaning, you may assume it's correct."
"There's nothing wrong with charging her full price." ~ DynkoFromTheNorth
"NTA, it's not your job to spell-check people's tattoos." ~ Vegetable-Star-5833
I'm glad to hear you have a plan, OP.
It sounds like a very reasonable solution.
Hopefully, your customer will agree.
Accidents happen, she should've done some extra research herself though.
Good luck with the cover-up.















Woman Breaks Up With Boyfriend Who Worried People Would Think She Was Trans For Using Stand-To-Pee Device
Content Warning: Transphobia, Transphobic Comments
There are countless different reasons that a relationship might end, and a red flag could arise at any time. Some of these might have been learned in childhood and could improve over time.
Transphobia is absolutely a red flag that should be acted on immediately; however, with no option to fly again, pointed out the members of the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor funnelfuss was in the car with her boyfriend when they got stuck in a traffic jam.
She really needed to use the restroom, so since she had a device with her to make the process easier, she decided she'd step out of the car.
But when her boyfriend panicked and thought people might mistake her for a man, the Original Poster (OP) realized that her boyfriend was not who she thought he was.
She asked the sub:
The OP had to use the restroom while stuck in a traffic jam.
"My (26 Female) boyfriend (25 Male) and I got stuck in an insane traffic jam. My boyfriend was driving."
"We were at a standstill. Found out later on, they had closed the highway."
"I had to pee really bad, like bad bad bad. I saw that a couple guys had run to the side of the road to pee, and I decided to do the same."
"It was super open, with a few bushes by the side of the road, really not much cover."
The OP's boyfriend became uncomfortable when he realized she had a pee-to-stand device.
"I have a stand-to-pee device in my car, but when I grabbed it, my boyfriend got all weird."
"He said people would see me pee standing up and think I was Trans."
"I said no one would think that, plenty of women have pee funnels, and that also I didn't care. I have no beef with Trans people!"
"He said I should squat, just to put his mind at ease."
"I said I didn't want to get my butt and c**ch out on the highway in front of everyone, or get pee on my shoes, and I just wanted to be quick and clean."
"He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans and that I should squat, like GIRLS do."
The OP decided she was over it.
"I was dying by this point. I couldn't hold it anymore, and I really didn't want to show the world my butt, so I ran to the side of the road and slipped the device into my jeans and just peed standing up with my back to traffic."
"No one could see anything; it just slides through the zipper. But I guess maybe if someone was looking, they would be confused? But also, who's LOOKING?!"
"When I got back to the car, my boyfriend wouldn't talk to me. He says I disrespected his feelings. But it was 100% an emergency, and I don't get what his problem was."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that there was nothing wrong with using the restroom how she wanted.
"OP, don't think for one more second about this. Your boyfriend is being ridiculous."
"As if you will ever see any of those people again! Plus, holding it in for too long can cause a whole host of issues."
"It's actually genius that you have something like that in your car, just in case. I'm going to order one too now! NTA." - m_alice88
"'Honey, please show all these strangers your c**ch and a** so they know I'm not gay, mmmm'kay?'"
"A weak man, a very weak man." - lefteyedcrow
"You must have a she-wee! Those are so great for women."
"Tell your boyfriend to get over himself. You had to pee. He does not understand that squatting can suck and leave you exposed."
"If he is that upset you did this, rethink this relationship. I would find it hysterical."
"NTA." - Oktodayithink
"NTA, OP. You just needed a makeshift restroom."
"Your boyfriend apparently thought that it was normal for people to stare at strangers who are trying to pee to evaluate who they are, who they're with, and what the status of their relationship is."
"You know, to pass the time while in gridlock traffic." - Pixichixi
"You did nothing wrong, OP! When you have to go, you have to go. It's healthier to go."
"And don't apologize! We're so wired to reduce conflict, even to the point of downplaying how we feel to keep the peace or end the silence. Don't do it."
"It's a him issue. He thinks his feelings on this are more important than your discomfort about showing your naked body on the side of the road. If he can't figure that out for himself and apologize, it would be a dealbreaker for me." - lelawes
Others agreed and pointed out that the ex-boyfriend was very transphobic.
"NTA. Your boyfriend is clearly transphobic. That is 100% on him. And who cares if people think you are Trans?"
"'He said he didn't want people to look at the girl he was dating and think she was Trans.' And you don't want people to think you're dating someone bigoted and hateful." - GreekAmericanDom
"He may not consider himself transphobic ('I don't hate Trans people! I just don't want to be associated with them or have anyone think I'm with a Trans person!'), but he absolutely is, probably with a healthy side helping of homophobia."
"Why would he care, unless a) Trans women are not women in his eyes, or b) it somehow would be emasculating or embarrassing to his ego to be with a Trans woman."
"Also, you're in a traffic jam. Who the f**k is even watching close enough to care, and who of those people matters enough to give two s**ts about what they think."
"Not to mention, he's being weirdly controlling about your behaviors and how they reflect on him in a scenario where arguably he's never going to interact with a single person he's worrying about." - maladicta228
"This post reminds me of the time I got dressed to go to a function. It was a casual gathering. My kid (this was solidly on their father, my ex, as he's gotten insanely bigoted as he's aged) said, 'Mom, you're dressed like a Lesbian.'"
"Me: 'Lesbians have great fashion sense, I'd love to be mistaken for one.'"
"They paused for a second and realized that I truly wasn't dressing for men (despite it being my husband's work function), and that being seen as a lesbian was a good thing. I'm so glad I raised them to think for themselves, and realize that one can be wrong, admit it, and work on being a better person every day. They've never said anything like that since." - baconbitsy
"He's so insecure (and transphobic) that he cares more about what some strangers in a traffic jam might wrongly assume about you (and thereby him) than YOUR needs, comfort, and health."
"He expected you to prioritize his insecurities (feelings) above that and then punished you when you prioritized your health."
"You sure you want to be with someone like that?? NTA." - molotovmerkin
"Your boyfriend is so transphobic that he wants you to expose your genitalia on the side of the road to prove that you're not a Trans woman because he can't stand the idea of a total stranger, in a neighboring car, whom he will never speak to or see ever again, thinking he MIGHT be SHARING A CAR (because the strangers in other cars have no idea that you're dating) with a Trans woman."
"You're NTA, but get a better boyfriend." - HighCsummer
"Literally, you have to be super transphobic to think people in traffic are gonna judge you if your girlfriend is standing to pee. Like come onnnnnn, this is some insane insecurity." - Responsible-Pickle-2
Some pointed out that not only was the ex-boyfriend transphobic, but also controlling.
"This won't be the last time he expects OP to sacrifice things or make her life worse so that she can conform to his ideal of feminine stereotypes and keep up appearances for his fragile masculine ego."
"And that he gave her the silent treatment for not obliging his transphobia and misogyny disguised as 'feelings' is also problematic." - blancamystiere
"He's insecure and transphobic. He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort."
"NTA, and honestly, you can do better than this specimen." - PetersMapProject
"NTA. Your boyfriend would have preferred for everyone to see your a** and vagina than have a random stranger think his girlfriend is Trans. He would rather you expose yourself for his personal gain."
"Get a better boyfriend." - Amaze-balls-trippen
"The transphobia? The insecurity? And the silent treatment when he doesn't get his way?"
"So many red flags!" - CarolynDesign
"He also puts his insecurity and transphobia above your comfort and safety."
"He would rather you invite unwanted attention and risk by exposing your private parts to the world than have people think he (who most of the onlookers couldn't even see) might be dating a Trans person."
"NTA. OP, he's too insecure, self-centered, and immature to be a good partner to you, given that he's willing to compromise your safety to avoid a single twinge of discomfort. Dump him." - Hari_om_tat_sat
After receiving feedback, the OP was reassured and shared some positive updates.
"UPDATE: Thank you, everyone, for helping me feel sane again!"
"I got quite a few questions about which device I use, and honestly, it's about what fits you best. There are a ton of options. It's what fits you. Check out pStyle, Freshette, and EllaPee."
"I tried peeing standing up in a toilet, and it worked fine. I think my aim was pretty good, but then I saw little droplets on the floor. No thanks, don't need that. Also, it's loud? Awkward."
"But for the outside, it's pretty fun! I drive a lot, that's why it was in my car. Lifesaver."
"Also, I guess in this case it brought out an ugly side of my (ex) boyfriend and clarified some stuff for me. A winner all around."
"And to all the commenters asking, YES, he is an ex-boyfriend now."
"And yes, there were other red flags."
"Ditched the man, kept the pee funnel. Gonna laugh at him every time I pee standing up."
There's no way to imagine just how awkward the rest of the car ride was after using the restroom and returning to the now-silent and very entitled boyfriend, still stuck in a traffic jam.
But fortunately for the OP, she learned something vital about her relationship during a moment that should have been a total non-issue.
By being concerned about this and expecting the OP to prioritize her ex's pride over her comfort, safety, and cleanliness, her ex told her everything she needed to know.