Charging friends for services rendered can be awkward.
But people need to be paid in order to live.
But what happens when a mistake is made during the services?
How does this change the price plan?
Especially when all the parties are culpable.
Redditor zzalmoxiss wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"WIBTA if I charge for a coverup of a nasty tattoo I did?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I'm one year into tattooing, and this is the first coverup I've done of a tattoo."
"I tattooed an Arabic saying on a girl's back a few weeks ago, and we both thought it translated to 'appreciate life' because the translation was right under the Arabic words in the photo she sent me."
"A few days ago, she texted me saying that she wants me to delete the picture of her tattoo off of my page because it actually translates to something awful."
"I was so shocked. I ran the pic through the translate lens myself like 5 times, and the tattoo did, in fact, mean something gross."
"I usually check what clients' tattoos mean beforehand when they are in a foreign language, but I did not check this one because the translation came with the reference picture."
"I quickly deleted the post and told her that I'm happy to work on a coverup together if she's down for it."
"She was, and I finished the design today."
"She likes it, and we are gonna do it."
"The thing is, I feel very guilty about this whole thing because it never happened to me before."
"I feel really sorry that I put that on someone's body, and I am very happy to cover it, but I feel SO ashamed of charging her for this coverup because I somehow feel like it's my fault."
"I, as the artist, should have checked the translation, and I'm afraid that there is a possibility that she thought the coverup was free."
"So when I tell her a price, she will blame me for the tattoo and end up on bad terms."
"It was her first tattoo, and we have a common friend, so she may think that I offered my coverup services as an apology, but to be honest, I don't even know if I did anything wrong???"
"Maybe I'm overthinking."
"I'm so conflicted, and I don't know what to do."
"On one side, I do feel for her, and I want to help her, but on the other side, this is a complex tattoo that I can't really afford to give out for free."
"If she was my friend, I would totally do it for free, but she's a friend's G[irl]F[riend]'s friend, so I don't even know what our status is to be able to give out my resources like that."
The OP was left to wonder:
"WIBTA if I charge her for this coverup? IF I do, I will cut it down a lot though."
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
"NAH. If the client brings something in a foreign language and says, 'Tattoo this on me,' I think you should have a policy of telling them that you don't know what it says and will take no responsibility if it doesn't mean what they think it means."
"It might be a good idea to have that in writing if you agree to any such tattoos in the future."
"Check out the policies others have in place."
"If they asked you to design a tattoo and the writing was what you came up with, then the responsibility would be on you (which is why doing that would not be a good idea unless you were sure you knew what you were doing)."
"The reason I say NAH is because ideally, you should have dealt with this issue from the start, with a policy in place, a warning that you can't take responsibility for a reference they bring you that's in a foreign language, and so on."
"You also should have made it clear whether the cover-up would be free or whether you were going to charge for it at the time you offered to do it."
"This isn't really a matter of you being an A or not, but a lesson for the future."
"There's no simple answer here because the best option isn't possible now."
"If you offer to do it for free (telling them that even though this is not your fault, you'll do it as a once off -- this isn't policy) you avoid any negative reaction, but you risk her telling others creating this kind of expectation (if there's some problem, even if caused on my end, the cover-up is free) -- but you can manage that by having a clear policy in place before anyone else requests something similar." ~ kurokomainu
"I agree with all of this."
"Sadly, it won't help now, but policies usually come from a place of experience as to why they're now needed. "
"OP, you could always give her a discount for the coverup, say 25% off or something, but I wouldn't apologize or say you're responsible for the mistake, and I would offer the discount prior to her coming in so you're both on the same page."
"It would be a lot worse if she came in for the coverup, thinking it was free and didn't have the money for it." ~ These-Buy-4898
"This is the way."
"I would send her a message saying something like... It is unfortunate that the original tattoo had a different translation than what was presented in the source material and could've been prevented if the script had been more thoroughly researched."
"Fortunately, it is not a huge detailed piece, and we can alter it into something cool with a cover-up."
"This is the piece I've come up with, and I just want to finalize the design to ensure no alterations are needed before your appointment."
"As this was your first tattoo, I want to make sure your experience doesn't change your outlook on getting more ink in the future."
"So I'm going to discount this one and just use the original $xx as a deposit towards the cover-up."
"I hope this helps to put your mind at ease whenever you're ready for your next tattoo." ~ holdtightbro
"This is it."
"I would offer to do the cover-up at the cost of materials (possibly something for your time depending on how much time the planned cover-up is going to take) and then put a policy in writing for the future."
"Give her a deal as goodwill and make things clear for future clients."
"This is not your fault at all but giving a discount will help mitigate any possible bad feelings from this client." ~ Just-some-moran
"You're NTA for charging her for the cover-up."
"You made a mistake, but you're still providing a service and putting in your time and skill to create a new tattoo."
"It's fair to communicate the price, especially since you're cutting it down to help her out."
"Just be honest with her about the situation and that you understand her feelings."
"If she's a reasonable person, she should appreciate your honesty and effort."
"Also, both of you should have searched for the meaning of it, not just you." ~ sweetalessia
"Maybe I'm being a little cynical here, but a part of me suspects that this girl may have done this deliberately to scam OP."
"If OP does this for free (which they absolutely should not) then she will have gotten a larger, custom-designed, potentially color tattoo for the price of a smaller, presumably non-colored tattoo consisting of only words with no design input from an artist."
"Potentially we're talking about her getting a £100 or more tattoo for more like £30."
"The most OP should do is reduce the fee for the cover-up by the amount they charged for the original, so that way if she is scamming him, she'll have failed on that front."
"And, if this wasn't an attempted scam by her, then it's honestly still her responsibility to check the translation when she's asking the tattooist to tattoo a specific foreign word or phrase."
"And obviously, OP is NTA." ~ Internet-Dick-Joke
"I agree."
"Especially with access to any information in the world in your pocket, if she was too lazy to do a quick Google to confirm the information, that's on her. NTA." ~ almaperdida99
"NTA. You are not responsible for someone else's decisions or lack of investigation."
"However, as you usually check translations, you know it's better to check for yourself than end up in this situation."
"You'll feel better if you help her, even if ultimately the blame for this mistake lies with the client."
"Charge her, give her a heavy discount, and let both of you learn from this mistake."
"Do not do a tattoo again without checking the translation for yourself and getting the client to confirm on the record that's what they want to save you the hassle."
"Hopefully, the client will be more careful going forward herself."
"Hope the cover-up goes well!" ~ mosstalgia
"Hello, fellow tattooer here."
"NTA. The translation of any tattoo is 100% the client's responsibility."
"We have several points during the tattooing process where they can pick up on it."
"It's her fault."
"You charge for the cover-up." ~ OnsidianInks
OP came back with some information...
"To be more specific..."
"I did not make the writing design myself, I just copied the picture she sent me."
"The picture she sent me had the design and 'appreciate life' under it as translation."
"I'm calling the tattoo nasty because it is."
"It actually translates to 'I'm rotten.'"
"After further research, I found that the picture she sent me circulated on Tumblr a few years ago as a meme but we obviously were not aware of that."
"It's just words on a white background."
"I've never had so many people comment on my post."
"I've tried to read everything and I finally made my decision."
"Thank you all for the help, truly!"
Reddit continued to weigh in.
"Meet halfway maybe?"
"As a collector of skin art, it's my responsibility to make sure I'm giving you the right thing."
"So that's on her."
"You as the professional that has been doing this for a year are probably looking to build a return customer base, you should make sure we aren't doing ourselves wrong because you are the professional." ~ SeaDifficulty3527
"NTA... charge her."
"It's not your fault that the words she gave you to put on her body said something awful."
"This is completely 100%, absolutely the client's fault."
"You shouldn't be doing the second tattoo free of charge."
"If you feel bad about it and you want to be really nice maybe give her a discount."
"But do not do it for free."
"That is a terrible precedent to set." ~ broke_wing
"NAH, I would do this at a heavily discounted rate, mainly as I suspect you feel so bad about it even though you did nothing wrong, by the sounds of it you'll feel worse if you make money from it."
"Doing it at a discounted rate will make her feel a lot better and you prob will too." ~ Acceptable_Bunch_586
"You are a tattoo artist, not a research assistant."
"It's not up to you to police what people want on their bodies as long as it's not racist or offensive."
"However saying that you are offering a service and are in a profession where reputation and word of mouth is important - you want those nice big jobs and people recommending you."
"How about you go halfway and don't charge her for your time, just the cost of the materials? NAH." ~ Only_Fig4582
"NAH... I know what I'd do for my own conscience, but you can't be held accountable for someone deciding to have a tumbler meme tattooed on them without even putting it into Google first."
"There's definitely an expectation of due diligence on the part of the client that they know what they're asking for." ~ 1568314
"NTA. What she wants on her body is not your responsibility."
"If she tells you the text has a specific meaning, you may assume it's correct."
"There's nothing wrong with charging her full price." ~ DynkoFromTheNorth
"NTA, it's not your job to spell-check people's tattoos." ~ Vegetable-Star-5833
I'm glad to hear you have a plan, OP.
It sounds like a very reasonable solution.
Hopefully, your customer will agree.
Accidents happen, she should've done some extra research herself though.
Good luck with the cover-up.















Woman With Cerebral Palsy Livid After Husband's Doctor Questions Why He Married Her
In the search for comprehensive medical care, people may have tough conversations about their lifestyle, work, relationships, and other potential stressors.
But a doctor can only make so many decisions on behalf of their patient, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor _lucky96 was seeing the same doctor as her husband, so their doctor was aware of both of their medical histories and needs, including her having cerebral palsy.
But when the doctor brought up her condition during her husband's latest appointment and questioned their marriage, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled and wanted to find a new medical care provider.
She asked the sub:
The OP had cerebral palsy and a full life.
"I have cerebral palsy. It mainly affects my walking, but I can walk independently and live a pretty normal life."
"My husband and I have been together for three years and have a blended family with five kids altogether. Three of my kids aren’t biologically his."
The OP and her husband just started seeing a new doctor.
"We’ve both recently started seeing the same general practitioner (GP)." I’ve seen him about three times now and generally thought he was helpful."
"I had noticed he seemed very interested in my disability and would often ask questions about it and whether I had support, but I assumed he was just being thorough."
In the OP's eyes, the doctor crossed a line.
"Today, my husband had an appointment with the same doctor for stomach issues."
"During the appointment, mental health apparently came up as part of the discussion, but the appointment itself wasn’t for mental health."
"I wasn’t in the room because I was outside with our daughter. According to my husband, the doctor asked him, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"My husband said because he loves me, and then the doctor apparently said something along the lines of, 'With her disability and five kids, that’s a lot to take on. You realise when she’s older, you’ll have a lot to do as she ages.'"
"My husband thinks I’m overreacting because they had been discussing different stressors in his life, and believes the doctor was just talking about responsibilities and support systems."
"I understand that possibility, but I can’t get past how hurtful it feels to hear my disability described as something my husband 'took on' or as a future burden he’ll have to manage."
"The doctor also said, 'Not many men would do what you do, you’re a good man.'"
The OP was upset about the conversation her husband shared.
"What bothers me most is that the conversation wasn’t even about me, and I wasn’t there to respond or provide any context."
"I feel like the comments reduced me to my disability rather than seeing me as a wife, parent, and person."
"Am I wrong for being upset by this and considering raising it with the clinic, or does this sound inappropriate?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that the doctor's comments were highly inappropriate.
"That’s highly inappropriate. You are NOR." - Direction_Physical
"NOR. You are not overreacting at all. That was completely inappropriate and dehumanizing."
"You’re his patient’s wife, not his patient, while your husband is in that room. Bringing up your disability and five kids during your husband’s stomach appointment had nothing to do with his care."
"Saying you’re 'a lot to take on' and 'not many men would do what you do' frames your marriage like a charity case, and you like a burden instead of a partner."
"That’s ableist, unprofessional, and a violation of basic boundaries."
"It makes sense that you feel reduced to just your disability after hearing that."
"Raising it with the clinic is absolutely reasonable. You deserve a doctor who treats you as a whole person, not a problem for your husband to manage." - DaringDuvet
"This makes me so stabby. I’m non-verbal and have right-sided weakness."
"We were married 29 years before it happened, and the number of people who think my husband needs a medal and a parade for sticking around..."
"Don’t get me wrong. My husband is one of life’s truly good dudes. But seriously?" - sorenelf
"This is infuriating. He's a good man because he didn't ditch?"
"When my mum was diagnosed with cancer that wasn’t going to do the polite thing and get fixed, the amount of applause for my dad not leaving her was astounding."
"He was horrified at first, but that wore off pretty quickly, and he just started calling it out. That made quite a few people squirm in their own discomfort."
"It says a lot about someone who thinks a natural choice is to bail." - BasicLingonberry9914
"NOR in the slightest."
"Even if we assume good intent and the doctor wanted to make sure there are safety nets and supports in place for both of you, that has NOTHING to do with the question of why your husband married you."
"I would absolutely file a complaint, and if you both can, find another general practitioner." - ooooohcakepudding
"NOR. I have severe Aphakia, and if my specialist looked at my husband to remind him he's going to be growing old with someone who is likely going to go blind, I think I would die."
"My husband had been through h**l and back with me and my eyes long before we got married, so he knows what he signed up for. And it isn't the doc's place to sort out. Super duper unprofessional." - Global-Nature2420
"So at first, I thought you were overreacting. I am a mental health provider, and a doctor discussing stressors and very real-life situations happens all the time."
"The minute you added the part that 'not many men,' things changed. He took what could have been a normal conversation and changed it to his personal feelings, which is absolutely disgusting."
"NOR at all. I would file a complaint." - Trash_Human92
Others pointed out that it was an important conversation to have, though the doctor could have been more delicate.
"While tough, this isn't an inappropriate conversation to have if the stress is causing his health to deteriorate."
"The truth is not inappropriate. I think the way he worded it was a bit much, but not what he said."
"It appears to me the OP is not dealing with how her disability is not just about her, but everyone, etc. For example, my cancer was also stressing my loved ones out." - Total-Ad886f
"I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night due to my husband's health and lack of care. So when he finally started seeing someone in my same doctor's office (but not the same doctor), it was SO much better."
"My doc and the nurse have been really, really concerned about my mental health, so they were happy to hear that he's taking his health seriously and improving, because that means that I am sleeping more and my mental health is better, and that means my ability to manage my own chronic pain and health issues has been better."
"I was not coping at all and barely able to function." - popchex
"The doctor may have mentioned OP in the conversation with her husband if he was trying to ascertain if he had stressors that may contribute to his stomach issues. Sure, your spouse, children, work, and parents can be considered stressors at times in anyone’s life."
"For me, where he crossed the line was when he decided just how OP’s condition will impact the future."
"Firstly, OP is obviously capable of caring for everyone, including herself and children, with minimal, if any, assistance. As OP ages, more assistance may be required, but this may also be the case for her husband, too, as he ages. The responsibility of the children will not be a factor, as they are adults."
"So the doctor’s predictions are presumptive and unnecessary. Health is not guaranteed for anyone. We all will face various challenges to our physical abilities as we age."
"What I would take up with the clinic is why he felt it necessary to ask the husband why he married OP. To additionally state because of that, ‘He was a good man’ is grossly inappropriate and unprofessional."
"There is potential for an ongoing issue to arise if OP were to continue seeing this doctor. His bias toward her husband may very well influence any care she may need in the future. NOR." - Cool-Blackberry-785
"It doesn’t make sense because if your husband was talking about how stressed he was, why would the doctor bring up more reasons he should be stressed? Or if he didn’t seem stressed enough, is the doctor then going to be like, 'Consider how stressed you’ll be in X amount of years'?"
"It sort of sounds like he’s saying something like, 'Why would a man do that?'"
"The only exception I’d give is if your husband had some sort of health thing he’s completely ignoring, and the doctor was trying to give him a wake-up moment. Because then, they sort of have to be blunt to make you realize you need to prioritize your health. But simply being stressed isn’t enough to start saying, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"Whenever it’s women in your husband’s position, they just get told they’re an awesome rockstar. No one questions WHY they do it."
"NOR. You should find a doctor who makes you feel supported, and you feel is better overall."
"I wouldn’t make your husband change yet. It is hard to find doctors you like. Maybe when you establish with a better doctor, he’ll switch, too." - imwearingredsocks
Since the OP's husband went to the doctor to discuss stomach issues and likely how to remedy them, it's reasonable that the subject of possible stressors would come up, so the husband could avoid those stressors and improve his symptoms.
However, some Redditors felt that also including details about his marriage and fatherhood in the conversation was crossing a line, and while being a care provider to a spouse could be stressful, many felt it was being addressed from an ableist perspective instead.