How others see you can play a huge role in what your day is like. But what is justified in another’s perception versus what shouldn’t matter?
Redditor ceeceeiarra experienced this when she went to a small-town diner. There were some complaints about her outfit and she was kicked out.
There’s a lot that happened, but the original poster (OP) is wondering how someone could kick someone else out of a restaurant just over their clothes. While she doesn’t think she was wrong, OP decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit about what happened.
OP’s situation isn’t even that out of place for most people.
“AITA for wearing a low cut shirt in a restaurant?”
But should she not be surprised by their reaction?
“So for context. I am a 27f who is heavily tattooed. I went yesterday with my husband out of town for his job to a really small town called Torrington, Wyoming.”
“There was only one breakfast place in town and I chose to go there and grab breakfast. It’s also extremely hot outside in Wyoming right now.”
“We live in a different town in Wyoming and it’s been over 100 degrees nearly every day. I was wearing a long black skirt and a cropped peach top.”
“While I’m seated at my table this older lady came up to me and said that I was dressed like a hooker.”
“All I said back was that it was extremely rude of her to come up to me like that. And I was the one who was kicked out of the restaurant after that.”
“They told me I was just wearing a bra, but that’s just straight up not true.”
“I don’t know if I’m in the wrong on this or not. I suppose I didn’t understand the small-town culture but I was refused a box and couldn’t even eat my meal because of this random woman coming up to me.”
“The server even said that I should expect disrespectful treatment if I go around looking like how I look. I feel like the way I was treated was not fine and that regardless of what I was wearing that’s harassment.”
“But I suppose I’m not used to small town politics. AITA?”
OP is a self-admitted, heavily tattooed woman, wearing a crop top. For those in the small town, this is too much for their sensibilities.
But should it be too much in this day and age?
On Reddit, the users judged OP for wearing revealing clothing to a breakfast joint by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
There are a lot of angles to take with this story. While some might argue that OP can wear whatever she wants, and others might say that the restaurant can set its own rules, one detail for sure put this blame on the restaurant.
They didn’t let her take the meal she paid for home.
OP’s outfit sounds like it wouldn’t be out of place for a lot of people, and as a society, we’re slowly moving past the prejudice against tattoos.
But the restaurant did not doing anything until someone else complained. That says they don’t have a posted dress code.
Redditors voted that OP was NTA.
“NTA and you should review bomb this restaurant. Unless they have a dress code or it is a 5-star Michelin, they should not give a f*** about how you dress up.”
“Even if you were wearing a tutu with a banana top.” – SleepyHypso
“NTA. Report them to every possible representative, the city, the state, review bomb them, and try to get some News channels to pick it up. I would DESTROY this place if they did something like that to me.”
“NOT LETTING YOU TAKE YOUR FOOD? F*** no, I’d be nuclear. I’d be on the news really hamming it up and crying about how things like sexism and harassment against women still exist in 2022.”
“Garbage like this REALLY gets under my skin. You want to kick someone out? Fine. Private businesses have a right to do that.”
“It’s a d*ck move, but whatever. HOWEVER… if you don’t allow them their goods they purchased or offer a refund, that’s just theft with a heaping side of bigotry.” – AutotoxicFiend
“NTA, and I live in a rural area. That said yes she was wrong, but unfortunately, that is exactly what you will get in any rural conservative area. Complaining won’t help.”
“The culture in these places is not tolerant of anyone who is different or stands out. Personal expression in these areas is not encouraged.”
“I had something similar happen in backwoods Utah. It sucks.” – ScreamyPeanut
“You should post about them on social media and shame their behavior. Also, post bad reviews.”
“I would comment on every single social media form of them, post a bad review at google and yelp, and maybe, just maybe, if I was feeling extra petty, I would do a complaint with the health inspector in the town.”
“If there’s nothing wrong with their kitchen they would have nothing to worry about, but if there was (and most of the time there is) boy oh boy wouldn’t it be fun.” – CharacterAd4022
“NTA. It doesn’t sound like OP was dressed inappropriately. The old lady should have minded her manners, but based on last night’s election results in the state, it sounds like a place where the American Taliban is out in force right now.”
“It was probably as much about the tattoos as the clothing. Hopefully, OP didn’t pay (or tip).”
“Unrelated, but I’ve actually been to Torrington despite living on East Coast!” – ABeerAndABook
“Rural communities are usually chock full of small-minded idiots. Experiencing things that they don’t see every day is painful and stressful for them.”
“They also tend to prefer ‘common sense’ solutions to every problem, where ‘common sense’ means the first dumb idea they have. NTA” – jojozabadu
“You gotta be joking”
“You are clearly NTA”
“That’s a them problem not a you problem”
“They can be used to whatever they f***ing want but it’s a free country and you don’t have any obligation to reflect what they would prefer”
“You do you and don’t let anyone ever let you not fly your freak flag however you like” – __Piggy__Smalls__
“NTA’ You didn’t get to take your food home either? Not only were they rude to you, but they also owe you for the money you paid as well.”
“At the very least, I think you should complain to the manager and get your money back.”
“If that fails, raise hell on review sites and/or call the local news about it. There’s probably a consumer advocate on there that can’t wait for the latest scoop.” – shuckyducked
That’s not to say there wasn’t pushback. Some people tried to see this from the restaurant and small town’s perspective.
While she may not be entirely to blame, they see OP’s actions as her own fault.
But other commenters were quick to point out how ridiculous that is.
“Meh… I’ll probably get downvoted to hell but ESH.”
“You acted in disrespect of their ideas of modesty and they acted bigoted.”
“Yeah I know, your body, your style, your way to dress, your choice… but did you really expect not to offend anybody by doing all this in a small conservative town?”
“Freedom to express yourself does not equal freedom of consequences. By their account your way to express yourself was scandalous.” – OrangeQueen_H
“She wasn’t in a church.”
“She was obeying local obscenity laws and not naked.”
“She was just an out of towner minding her own business and someone got a bee in their bonnet. Wouldn’t surprise me if it was mostly because she’s younger and pretty.”
“OP- NTA.” – janeeyre1794
“Info: we need to see the outfit. But I’m inclined to say your likely YTA. You’re in ultra conservative Wyoming! And a REALLY small town to boot you said. When in Rome…” – ickysticky1995
“No… we don’t only miserable, hateful people with nothing better to do would walk up to someone and shame them for their outfit. We should be shaming them, not demanding OP show her outfit for us to review” – AgnarCrackenhammer
“I’m sure that this will be unpopular, but NAH.”
“You’re allowed to dress how you want.”
“They’re allowed to set a dress code for their establishment.”
“We all get to make our own choices.” – Early-Light-864
“They don’t get to set arbitrary rules just because. It needs to be stated on their website and somewhere on their door. Just like a no shoes/shirt no service sign.” – Tashianie
There can be some level of expectation in someone’s attire if the business has a listed dress code. But if not, then what someone is allowed to wear in public should be what they’re allowed to wear in your restaurant.
OP should really see about getting her money back, and cause a stink if she can’t.