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Teen Furious After Mom Refuses To Let Her Get Job At Funeral Home Because It’s Not ‘Typical’

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Most parents want the best for their kids and all of their dreams to come true. But for some parents, that comes with the condition that their kids’ dreams align with their dreams, too.

A woman on Reddit created this sort of drama when she forbade her daughter from taking an internship in the field she’s most interested in, funeral services.

She wasn’t sure about how she handled it, so she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.

The Original Poster, who goes by the name funeralhomes_ on the site, asked:

“AITA for not letting my daughter take a job at a funeral home?”

She explained:

“I(35f[emale]) have a 16 year old daughter. For a few months she’s said she wanted to be a funeral director when she’s an adult but I figured it was a phase.”

“Yesterday, she came home and said that one of her friends got a job at a funeral home and that they had an open job for an internship that wasn’t a ‘skilled’ position, could be filled by a high schooler, and she asked if she could apply.”

“I told her I’d think about it.”

“I don’t think it’s an appropriate first job and I don’t want her working and doing that kind of thing, she’s only a kid.”

“I told her I thought it would be better for her to work somewhere else and she got very upset, saying that I always dismissed her interests and that she should be able to do what she is interested in.”

“I told her it was not a good first job and that I have friends that could help her get a job but she said she wasn’t interested. She’s been pissed at me ever since and went to her dads house, and is saying that she won’t come back unless I let her do it, because he will.”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea and I don’t want her doing it, and it’s not a typical first job and may look weird on resumes and college applications. She and her father both think I’m being a jerk and say I have an ‘outdated’ way of thinking.”

“AITA?”

Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this conflict based on the following categories:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

And for the most part they were not at all here for OP’s approach to this situation.

“YTA OP. The majority of kids have similar things on their college applications or resumes like after school sports, clubs, activities, retail/restaurant/babysitting jobs, etc. and a funeral home would actually stand out and help her be noticed!”

“It would be a great experience for her to see if she really likes it, and is an incredible ice breaker for any interview she could give as most people, including you, have no idea what it entails.” –Acceptable_Day6086

“-As someone who hires people, unusual first jobs catch attention and increase likelihood of her passing. That is a positive or a neutral item, not a negative.”

“-It’s a first job and she’s not a college graduate. The stakes are SO LOW.”

“-Letting her get this job now is your BEST CHANCE for her to dissuade herself. She will not take your advice on this one and you may even force her to stubbornly double down. Let her actually see the work and then decide FOR HERSELF if she still loves it.”

“I was convinced I wanted to be a vet until I worked at a veterinary hospital. Meeting dogs that were going to die that night and helping clean up blood taught me very quickly that I just like playing with animals, not so much supporting sick ones.”

“If she gets the job and still loves it months later, rejoice that she’s found her passion!” –balgram

“Op, you sound just like my grandma. Everything must fit in her tiny little perfect box. My poor mom has struggled her entire life because my grandmother judged everything she did because ‘you shouldn’t want to do that’ or ‘you shouldn’t feel that way’.”

“Let her make her own choices. Being a funeral director is a very honorable and needed job. Just because it doesn’t fit in your perfect little box doesn’t mean she shouldn’t do it. YTA.” –SuspiciousPeach693

“One of my best friends in high school just knew she wanted to be a mortician since forever. She’s this bubbly blonde happy person and just KNEW that’s what she wanted.”

“She did a placement at a local funeral home one semester and was sold. It’s a profession that will always be necessary and it takes a special person to help people at their lowest.”

“OPs daughter is a wonderful person for showing interest and she should encourage her daughter instead of discourage. My friend is now married to another mortician and they have a lovely family and business and are very happy well adjusted people.” –doughnutsforsatan

“Look I understand your hesitancy, but funeral directors really do make an impact. Ours for my mother n law’s funeral showed such compassion during the difficult time and really helped us.”

“There is a need for all sorts of positions. Please listen to her. She clearly knows she is comfortable with this or she would not want to explore it.” –Typical-Garlic-7308

“YTA.”

“If this is something she’s shown interest in for months, who are you to tell her what’s appropriate or not?”

“Underage girl with an OnlyFans? That’s inappropriate.”

“Working in a funeral home is not inappropriate for any one at any age.”

“If anything it shows enormous compassion and strength of character for her to show interest in working somewhere where death and empathy are both so prevalent.”

“It’s not all goo and bodies and whatever, particularly in an internship capacity. You’re misinformed and need to be more open-minded. Professionals who handle afterlife care are licensed and trained and held to very high standards.”

“An internship might be greeting the mourners, setting out flower arrangements, and typing up and sending obituaries to publishers. Maybe if the ceremonies are catered, she’d be managing the snacks and drinks.”

“If you care about your daughter and her desires, arrange a meeting with the funeral director and your daughter. Get the job description. Talk it out. Then decide.”

“Don’t just dismiss it because you think it’s inappropriate.”

“Edit to add: You were 19 when you had your daughter. That’s only a couple of years older than she is now. Just a bit of perspective.”

“Edit 4 hours later. Holy heck you guys. Thanks for the wholesome feelings. Just want OP to give her daughter the best chance in life. Telling her what to do when she is building goals and agency is not the way to go.”

“Thanks all, be excellent to each other.” –American-Mary

“I’m 35 my daughter is turning 16 in April and wants to work in forensic sciences. I’ve helped her apply to all of the summer programs around Boston so she can learn and decide if she is able to be in that line of work.”

“I support her extra because I want her to follow her dreams, and not have the same obstacles I gave myself. She was never a mistake but she was a surprise, and she’s pleasantly surprised me ever since” –Logical_Childhood733

“OP should read ‘Stiff’ by Mary Roach. Currently reading it, never would have thought I would want to read a book about the ‘lives’ of human corpses, but it’s really fascinating stuff.”

“Might give OP some perspective on what interests her daughter about funeral homes – although she could probably learn that if she bothered to talk to her daughter and ask about her interests, rather than trying to squash them.” –caffeinefree

“Why would OP rather have her daughter flip burgers (no hate on flipping burgs!) vs taking an internship at a place that she’s shown interest in a full career in? Doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“Let your kid experiment down the career path she wants, and if she likes it then she knows what to go to college for and if not then she knows she doesn’t want to do that. Easy as that. YTA” –AndyFeelFine

“Also, this is a great way for OP’s daughter to decide if this is the right field for her. She might work there awhile and realize she wants to pursue something else or she might realize it’s perfect for her.”

“If she’s going to try to become one when she’s grown up, why not let her get a taste of it now. Nothing worse than going to school for something and then realizing you don’t like doing it. OP, YTA and incredibly short sighted.” –katiejim

“YTA – there’s nothing wrong with working in a funeral home. Honestly it’s a pretty respectable job, and I doubt colleges or other jobs are going to turn your daughter away for having work experience with one.”

“She’s interested in it and working in something you’re interested in is a hell of a lot better than getting a job you hate. Just let her apply – if she gets the job, then she’ll be happy. If she doesn’t, that’ll suck, but at least it shows that you tried to support her by letting her apply for the job” –death-by-milk

Hopefully OP can learn to let her daughter follow her aspirations.

Written by John Sundholm

John Sundholm is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.