The time immediately following the birth of a newborn is full of emotions.
People are joyous.
New parents are scared.
Everybody is learning as they go.
So some partners like to show their appreciation for the partner with a post-push gift.
But reactions can be mixed with said gifts.
Case in point…
Redditor imadadmfssss wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for getting my girlfriend a gift basket full of things she avoided during pregnancy?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (M[ale] 26) became a dad a month ago.”
“Hence, why I’m posting at 4 am. I can’t sleep.”
“I got my girlfriend (F[emale] 24), who I was living with pregnant.”
“Her parents never really approved of me after that.”
“When I brought her home after the birth, her parents came with us.”
“I paid a buddy of mine to buy a bunch of things she couldn’t have while pregnant or avoided while pregnant and put them in a basket.”
“Some notable items were sushi, an expensive bottle of her favorite wine, and a keurig machine.”
“I know she misses having a glass every once in a while.”
“She’s been especially strong when I had my buddies over to watch sports, and we had a few beers.”
“Also she loves her coffee, and I couldn’t tell you how she went to work for eight months without it.”
“So I felt bad and splurged.”
“When her parents saw this gift, they called me uneducated and said that the alcohol can get in the breast milk.”
“I told them I did my research, and they said that it is immature to gift alcohol to a woman who just gave birth.”
“I may be overthinking this but AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. I think this is really sweet.”
“The C[enters] for D[isease] C[ontrol] says that there is no known harm associated with nursing mothers having a drink.”
“Which they clarify as one standard drink, not more.”
“And your girlfriend doesn’t even need to drink it right away.”
“Most importantly, her parents need to realize she can make decisions about her own body, and the two of you will be making parenting decisions.”
“It’s simply not up to them.” ~ madelinegumbo
“This! It’s a bottle of wine, not a bottle of milk!”
“I was gifted a two-glass mini bottle of champagne when my son was born. I ended up drinking it for my wedding anniversary ten months later.”
“I loved just having it in the cupboard to look forward to, knowing I could drink it as soon as I wanted to.” ~ Doctor-Liz
“Breast milk is actually formed from your white blood cells!”
“So it’s made from your blood.”
“The only alcohol in your milk is what’s in your blood, so a few drinks won’t hurt a newborn or a nursing mother because your milk can only have your b.a. level at most in it.”
“By the time you had enough Alcohol in your bloodstream to actually affect the baby, you’d be dead.”
“I’d compare it to throwing a shot of vodka in a kiddie pool. Fruit juice has more alcohol in it than breast milk.”
“The big risk of drinking and nursing comes from the risk of dropping the baby because you’re tipsy.”
“A stout beer actually can help stimulate milk production at first.”
“So many people have the old-school pump and dump method in their brains, and there’s no reason to do that at all.”
“It’s a waste of milk.” ~ serpents_and_sass
“This is so nice of you.”
“One of the first things I did after my pregnancy was get sushi and a steak… Rare!”
“Just having the things there she likes is great. NTA.” ~ Any-Music-2206
“My wife sent me out as soon as she was able to eat, still in the hospital, to get her a club sandwich.”
“She hadn’t had cold cuts during pregnancy and was seriously in the mood for it.” ~ booch
“NTA. My husband brings a bottle of Veuve, and all 5x’s the nurses have made impromptu ice buckets out vomit buckets!”
“OP, this was very thoughtful of you! “
Congratulations to you and your GF.”
“It’s your GF’s thoughts on the basket that matters.”
“Your ‘in-laws’ sound like major A-holes!!!”
“Good luck with them.”
“Focus on your baby and GF. The rest is just noise!” ~ oh-seriously
“I’m eight weeks away from having the biggest cup of coffee in my life.”
“My husband better have our Keurig basket filled to the brim with the good stuff and, for extra measure, whole beans for our heavy-duty machine.”
“I miss caffeine more than anything… I know I can have small amounts, but it’s the one thing my husband asked me to cut out.”
“Plus, the little tadpole does the backstroke for an hour if I even take a few sips of soda.”
“You did good, OP. You did good. NTA.” ~ DibsArchaeo
“NTA… and they are absolutely incorrect too.
“Recent research shows that it’s safe and drinking a moderate amount is the same as drinking orange juice when it comes to breastmilk safety.”
“The actual concern when it comes to breastfeeding and drinking is safely handling the baby, that’s the actual concern.”
“Plus, there are also apps like drink safe specifically made for breastfeeding mums.”
“But the whole no alcohol whatsoever while breastfeeding is absolutely medically and scientifically incorrect.”
“As long as she can continue safe practices and handling of the baby or another adult is there, it’s absolutely fine to have a few glasses of wine.” ~ postysbottom*itch
“NTA. I don’t know how her parents saw the gift or why… but a bit of advice when dealing with ‘in-law’ types; the less they know, the less they can use against you.”
“Keep as much private as possible.” ~ misspoofy
“My wife had a glass of champagne the moment we got home.”
“The parents are just finding excuses to be annoyed with you. NTA.” ~ PopTrogdor
“I had champagne whilst still in the hospital. Supplied by the hospital. NTA.” ~ heatrage
“NTA. There are many ways to drink responsibly after having a baby.”
“Your gifts sound thoughtful and generous, and your girlfriend’s parents sound like a**holes.”
“They should be supporting both of you as you navigate through this massive upheaval, not criticizing your kind gestures.”
“Support your girlfriend, take care of your new baby, and don’t let the b*stards get you down.” ~ gapeach2333
“NTA. It’s not uncommon to gift new parents some bubbly after the birth.”
“I don’t think anyone is expecting her to down it in one right there and then.”
“Her parents need to stay in their lane.”
“Something tells me they’re going to be all in your business now that there’s a Grandchild.” ~ Full-String7137
“NTA. I think it’s sweet. It shows you acknowledging what she went through and you appreciating it.”
“The wine doesn’t expire and can wait for whenever she feels comfortable drinking again.”
“They need to calm down and stop looking for reasons to despise you.” ~ KMN208
“NTA. I’m sure your S[ignificant] O[ther] appreciates the thoughtful gift.”
“Her parents are idiots.”
“Unless she has a drinking problem, it’s fine.”
“Best time to have a glass of wine would be right after she nurses, so her body processes the alcohol before the next nursing.”
“In case they made you concerned.” ~ Yvette-Miu-Miu-Mom
“NTA… this is so incredibly sweet!”
“Don’t worry about the alcohol.”
“The percentage that makes it into breast milk is even smaller percentage of what makes it into the bloodstream.”
“Plus, importantly, alcohol leaves breast milk at the same rate it leaves the bloodstream.”
“Personally, I always start my drink either right after a feed or during a feed.”
“Then it’s all out or significantly reduced in my system by the next feed.”
“Plus, I’m partial to beer because it gives my breast milk supply a boost in production.” ~ I_Like_Knitting_TBH
“NTA. I found out I was pregnant with my firstborn two days before my birthday.”
“It was an amazing ‘gift,’ and made my birthday so much better to celebrate…. BUT, several friends gifted me alcohol that ended up being re-gifted or consumed by other folks over the next several months.”
“The day we brought the little guy home, my M[other] I[n] L[aw] had a gift basket of the (not cheap!) liquors I had been gifted for my birthday.”
“I was so touched by her thoughtfulness on this.” ~ PantherophisNiger
“NTA. That is thoughtful to gift her those items.”
“A sealed bottle of wine will be there and ready for her when she is ready for a glass.”
“Her parents most likely won’t be pleased with you for a while.”
“They should realize their daughter was equally responsible for making a baby.” ~ Educational-Ad-385
“NTA… it sounds like the gift as a whole served its purpose of making your girlfriend happy and giving her some treats to show she’s cared about and appreciated.”
“It’s a bottle of wine. Even if you or your girlfriend were concerned about even low-moderate alcohol consumption while breastfeeding, the bottle will last until your baby is weaned.”
“But also most research suggests there would be no ill effects on the baby if your wife enjoyed the bottle over several days.”
“It sounds like you’re a caring, thoughtful, and supportive partner, seems like her parents have just decided to dislike you and the things you do from the get-go and are looking for reasons to be mad.”
“They aren’t worth listening to if that is their attitude.” ~ Tay74
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
It sounds like you’re a good partner.
Every new mother deserves a gift basket.
Keep being you.
Good luck and congratulations!