Dating when you already have children can be hard, but it’s especially hard when a well-meaning friend or family member gets in the way.
One Redditor “Equal_Fruit” is a widower who recently asked his eight-year-old son’s school teacher out on a date. His sister didn’t like the idea and told their mother, which he vented about on the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
The Redditor asked the thread:
“[Am I the a**hole] for losing my s**t on my sister for telling our mother about my personal life?”
He explained first how he and the teacher became close.
“I’m a widower with an 8-year-old son.”
“His teacher is new in our town (she only arrived last September) and lives in our block, we’re practically next-door neighbors. Like, if we’re out on our balconies we can see each other and talk.”
“She obviously knew no one here, so over these past few months and especially during the lockdown, we grew kinda close.”
“We had a bit of a moment the other day, I asked her out, she said yes. But we both decided to wait until the school year was over.”
He shared the news with his sister, who did not react the way he was expecting.
“I called my sister to tell her and she called me an a**.”
“She said that I shouldn’t be doing that to my son, because it’s not uncommon for boys his age to develop crushes to their teacher and that I don’t want to make things complicated for him.”
When he didn’t agree with her logic, his sister became more persistent.
“I told her that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about cause I was sure my son couldn’t care less since he already has a crush on a classmate of his. And also I wasn’t asking for her advice, I was just calling her with some good news.”
“She doubled down and told me that I was being irresponsible because 8-year-olds can be very fickle and get 3 different crushes in one week, so I shouldn’t count on him not becoming jealous of me.”
Then the sister changed tactics.
“I told her that that was it with this discussion and I’d hear no more. If his teacher thought there’d be no problem, then there was no problem.”
“She apparently thought that wasn’t a good enough point either, cause since isn’t the most experienced teacher (she’s 25 and has only been working for a couple of years).”
“And then [she] started saying how she’s too young for me anyway (I’m 35) and that I always try to date younger and that maybe it’s time to look for women my age.”
Upset, he ended the call.
“She wasn’t as aggressive with that last remark, but it still stung and I was already a bit riled up from what she had said previously, so I just told her that I had enough and hung up before I lost my temper.”
But that wasn’t the last phone call he received that day.
“2 hours later, my mum called me and started saying the same things, parroting my sister. I tried to calm her down and promised that I’d be extra careful and that’d I’d break up at the first sign of trouble.”
Needless to say, he was furious.
“But then I immediately called my sister and… yeah, it wasn’t pretty. I told her that she should have never involved our mother in this and that the last thing I wanted was to have her following my disappointing love life so closely.”
“I may or may not have called her various names, but I felt that she had no right to do that and it was a huge breach of trust.”
His fellow Redditors wrote in anonymously, commenting on the OP’s (Original Poster’s) story using the following scale:
- NTA: “Not the A**hole”
- YTA: “You’re the A**hole”
- ESH: “Everybody Sucks Here”
- NAH: “No A**holes Here”
Though the conversation did not focus particularly on the rating scale, there were questions about the sister’s logic.
One Redditor pointed out that, though she may be trying to help, the sister’s mentality around entitlement could be dangerous.