Energy drinks seem to be everywhere these days, going from a very niche market with only a few products available to a multi-billion-dollar industry.
They’re marketed as a quick way to boost energy and alertness and were originally marketed to college students and truck drivers.
Most energy drinks provide their boost through some combination of:
- Caffeine
- Taurine
- Guarana
- Sugar
After sales dropped after reports of the calories from sugar in the drinks, most major brands came out with sugar-free options.
Personally, I don’t understand the appeal as I’ve never found one that didn’t taste horrible no matter what flavors they add to try to mask it.
But a man who loved energy drinks turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback aftef giving them up at the request of his wife.
Either_Proposal9319 asked:
“AITA for wanting my wife to quit her habit after quitting mine?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I (40, male) recently quit drinking energy drinks because my wife (38, female) said how bad they are for you and that I have also suffered previously from kidney stones. I don’t get them all the time mind you, but I have had them twice in my life and the last bout about 8 months ago was brutal.”
“I didn’t like how she came at me when arguing about it, but upon some reflection I conceded because she is 100% correct and I really don’t have a good argument other than I really enjoyed how they taste. I decided to stop drinking them and have gone 2 weeks so far without any and plan on abstaining from drinking them anymore.”
“I ended up quitting energy drinks the same time she went on a trip for about a week. During that time, I decided that she should also quit her habit of vaping as well, since that is also very bad for your health in my opinion, not to mention that it costs much more than me drinking one energy drink per day.”
“She previously was a smoker and a few years ago transitioned to vaping. I wished then that she quit cold turkey, but much preferred vaping to smoking, so I was content.”
“She was a smoker for years before I met her and I have accepted it; especially since we have had several arguments in the past about how she should quit and it never ends well. She always gets angry immediately and shuts down and is unwilling to talk and if I press, she becomes irate.”
“I have wanted her to quit since we started getting serious which has been nearly 20 years now. I totally agree it shouldn’t be a ‘quid pro quo’.”
“It really isn’t that, but I thought that it was a good time to bring it back up since I thought it was a comparable request.”
“I don’t want to fight with her, but she is the mother of my children and the love of my life; and I don’t want her to have severe health issues down the road that are preventable.”
“So when she got back from her week long trip, I brought it up to her that I stopped drinking energy drinks and that I think she should quit too, using the same arguments she used against me.”
“It of course went exactly the same way that the previous requests went, which is nowhere and again she shut down and would not talk about it at all.”
“I didn’t decide that she was going to quit, but rather that I was going to talk to her again about quitting. We have had this conversation many times before and I had just given up discussing it years ago because it went nowhere and wasn’t worth the fight.”
“However, while I don’t get to choose her health choices, I do get to be against and tell her so since it is bad for her and we are partners in life and have two children together.”
“I didn’t ever say she has to quit, I just think that she should and it’s hypocritical of her to get mad and angry with me for my habit when she has her own that is at least as bad, yet she is unwilling to even have a conversation about it.”
“I can’t and won’t make her do anything, but I do believe she is being a hypocrite and I feel I have a right to be upset that she won’t listen at all.”
“I think that I am valid and it is a comparable request, but since she doesn’t think so and how unwilling she is to have a conversation, I am rethinking my position.”
“AITA for thinking she should quit as well and is just being a hypocrite?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I may be the a**hole because I don’t want to let it go and keep bringing it up. It is causing tension and arguing.”
“I don’t want to fight, but I do believe I am right and don’t want to just give in to her poor response.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors offered reasons for every option available, although the “official” ruling was the OP was the a**hole (YTA).
“Are you worried about her health, or are you angry because your relationship is not tit for tat? Either way, nicotine is a lot harder to quit than energy drinks, like a lot.
“You are not asking the same thing, and expecting it to happen on the same timeline is not reasonable. There is a difference between a habit and an addiction. YTA.” ~ big-as-a-mountain
“YTA. Fair enough if it was out of genuine concern like your wife’s POV, which sounds very much like she learned they can exacerbate an illness you have experienced previously.”
“You’re just wanting her to give up vaping out of spite though. This will be one of those ‘the divorce came out of nowhere’ moments.” ~ PutridPriority3272
“YTA for just deciding since YOU had to/decided to quit having energy drinks, she had to quit something she does. Your motivation wasn’t her health.”
“It was, ‘she has been nagging me about Monsters/Red Bull/etc…, she has to stop vaping since I quit drinking them’. It is purely a tit-for-tat or me vs her attitude that isn’t good for the relationship.” ~ F0xyL0ve
But in total comments, more cited NTA (not the a**hole).
“NTA. The fact that your wife won’t even discuss quitting with you, let alone make an attempt to consider actions that could help her quit (talking to a doctor, considering nicotine patches…etc.) tells me that your wife doesn’t think that she should be held to similar standards as you.”
“I’m willing to bet that if you think long enough you’d identify other times or areas in life where your wife expects there to be two different sets of expectations for the two of you.” ~ saintandvillian
“NTA. Your wife is addicted to nicotine. And arguing with an addict about how unhealthy their addiction is is a losing battle.”
“You can use all the logic and facts, but it won’t make a difference if they don’t want to give up their addiction.” ~ Ok-Acanthaceae5744
While some thought everyone sucked (ESH).
“ESH for making either of these an argument. Its fair to have an occasional even keel straightforward talk about health, but to use health to try to control one another and argue isn’t cool.” ~ Ok_Sleep8579
“ESH—quit acting like children. Quit, or don’t quit if you don’t want to, but the whole argument that she should quit something because you did too is childish and silly.” ~ Spirited-Fly594
And some saw no a**holes here (NAH).
“NAH. This all sounds so very petty. Just go back to drinking your energy drinks if making a point to your wife is more important than your health. Which it sounds like it is.” ~ Prize_Chair_4442
“A request like this comes off as vindictive, even if it is honest. She ‘made’ you quit a thing, now you want her to do the same and you’re mad she doesn’t want to play the game. NAH, though.” ~ catsweedcoffee
“Is it possible to have ESH and NAH at the same time? I think ESH, because every person has habits that are bad for them.”
“You can lay out all the reasons to quit, and they can be valid, but if that person isn’t ready to quit, it’s their decision. Good for you for finally quit drinking energy drinks.”
“That said, you didn’t technically quit ‘for her’, you quit for you. You care about your health.”
“She isn’t ready yet, and if she isn’t willing to quit vaping for the same reasons she quoted you, that says a lot about her. That said, if you keep harping on it, it won’t fare well for your relationship, either.”
“She will need to come to terms with her hypocrisy, but some people are okay with being hypocrites since much of the time there aren’t any real consequences for being one.” ~ Background_Ruin_3631
With so many different opinions, it’s unclear if the OP got a clear answer.
Although the response that got the most upvotes was:
“Y’all need to sit down with a counselor and figure out how to actually communicate with each other.” ~ Connect_Tackle299
That sounds like a perfect place to start.