Too often, people use the word prank as an excuse to harm or humiliate their friends, and not everyone can stomach that.
Of course, not everyone has such distaste, and some pranks can be hilarious for everyone involved.
What happens when a prank goes so far that it threatens a relationship?
This was the issue facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) Ornery_Guarantee_625 when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for judgment.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving my fiance birthday after my stepdaughter’s prank?”
First, a quick introduction.
“So, I got recently engaged to my fiancè Michael.”
“We don’t live together, but we agreed to move together soon.”
“He has a 16yo daughter.”
“I gotta be honest, she seems quite stubborn, and her own dad struggles to get her to listen.”
“I’m not close with her, which is something I know I need to work on, and I do my best.”
“However, Her pranks make it difficult for me to maintain a good relationship with her.”
“She loves to prank, and her pranks can be a lot sometimes though there’s sometimes some humor there.”
“I tried to laugh it off every time she’d prank me, but it’s gotten too much lately.”
Everything was tolerable until recently.
“My final straw was on her dad’s birthday. I came to spend the day and have a celebratory dinner.”
“My future inlaws and relatives came as well.”
“All went well until dinner.”
“We were about to have dinner, and once we walked into the dining table, I was stunned to see my underwear hanging on a hanger in the corner.”
“My stepdaughter looked at me, smiled, and said, ‘oh, you forgot these last time you visited, and I didn’t want you to forget them again, so I hung them here!”‘.
“I was absolutely astonished, speechless even.”
“Michael was shocked, and my inlaws and other guests, INCLUDING Michael’s friends, were staring at me in awkward silence.”
“I felt so humiliated, especially when some of the men laughed.”
“Next thing I knew, I yelled at her and was grabbing my stuff about to leave, and Michael and his daughter telling me to calm down it was just a prank.”
“I left immediately and turned my phone off.”
“Michael left many texts and voice messages calling me ‘hypersensitive’ and claiming I ruined his birthday by walking out over a prank.”
“We argued later, and he said his daughter is a teenager, and it’s what they do, so my reaction was over the top and ruined the birthday for him and his family.”
“I haven’t spoken to him in days and he’s expecting me to visit to apologize for walking out and also yelling at his daughter.”
OP was left to wonder,
“AITA? Did I overreact?”
Having explained the situation, OP turned to Reddit for judgment.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided: NTA.
Commenters did not think the daughter’s behavior was normal.
“NTA.”
“Most teenagers do not pull pranks like that against an adult with whom they are not close.”
“And it’s a horribly mean and humiliating thing to do to someone, no matter what your relationship is like.”
“She is trying to get you out of her dad’s life.”
“I’d oblige her.”
“And I’d tell her dad that you aren’t willing to subject yourself to years of being embarrassed and having your feelings hurt with his approval, which is exactly what is happening when he excuses her actions because she’s ‘just a teenager’.” ~ Miserable-Problem889
“This exactly.”
“The daughter isn’t playing ‘pranks,’ she’s bullying and slut shaming OP.”
“The whole thing about the underwear and “you forgot these last time” was totally meant to call attention to OP sleeping with her dad and to humiliate her for it publicly.”
“This was calculated.” ~ sheath2
“She’s not a prankster. She’s a bully. And he’s enabling her. Rethink this relationship. She isn’t worth the effort. NTA.”
“You reacted too late.” ~ asianinindia
“Every time I see these ‘teenagers ruined my relationship via pranking’ posts, I always see the parent of the child excuse it by ‘that’s what teens do!'”
“I don’t know about y’all, but when I was a teenager, I wouldn’t want to look at, let alone touch my soon-to-be stepmom’s underwear.”
“What a deeply disturbing thought process to set them up on display for your future in-laws.”
“Teenagers don’t normally do these things. Jack*sses do. And jack*ss doesn’t have an age.”
“NTA” ~ dronna
Others were concerned about the future.
“Most teenagers wouldn’t pull a prank like this on an adult for whom they held any degree of respect.”
“This kid has made it clear that she doesn’t respect you, and her father has made it clear that he not only excuses the behavior, but he also enables it.”
“So what does that tell you about his level of respect for you?”
“This will be the rest of your life, having your responses negated and belittled for the sake of his daughter.”
“Is that the future you want?” ~ OTTB_Mama
“Oh, Dear NTA”
“But is this the life you want?”
“Cause this is what you are going to get.”
“Mean stunts directed towards you in the name of pranks.”
“Please don’t marry into this family. Your fiance will never have your back based on what you said here” ~ Broad-Discipline2360
“I agree.”
“This will only get worse, and it will always be in the name of a joke, even if you end up hurt in some way.”
“Don’t stay in this toxic relationship.” ~ HyenaShot8896
“This is what your life will be.”
“The daughter treating you poorly and her father telling you you’re overreacting.”
“No.”
“Just no.”
“Putting someone’s underwear on display at a family gathering isn’t appropriate, and your dude should have responded so. That he’s blaming you tells me everything I need.”
“DTMFA IMO.” (Dump The Mother F*cker Already)
“NTA. And do not apologize, ever, for responding as you have.” ~ tosser9212
Throw out the whole family.
“Based on this story, NOBODY in that family will have her back.”
“This isn’t normal 16-year-old behavior, but we can definitely see where she gets it from. OP was right to get out right then.”
“NTA” ~ Notte_di_nerezza
“She was, and good for her.”
“She definitely sent the message that she wasn’t one to be messed with.”
“But if she wants to marry this guy, I’d suggest family counseling for dad and daughter because it doesn’t sound like he knows how to discipline his own kid.”
“And that is something she should steer clear of doing if she does get married to him..” ~ okpickle
“Not only her husband – his whole damn family.”
“That girl’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives just stood there staring, mouth agape – and some of them laughed at OP rather than reading stepdaughter the riot act for her mean bullying.” ~ roseofjuly
Pranking 101.
“This was my thought!”
“Let’s turn around and shift the ‘prank.’ I bet your fiancé wouldn’t have found it funny.”
“Because it isn’t funny.”
“Here’s what makes a good prank:”
“It’s funny to everyone.”
“It’s harmless and doesn’t have fear and/or humiliation as part of it.”
“It’s easy to clean up/deal with.”
“For example, a prank that my siblings do is if you leave your phone unattended, they’ll take a bunch of photos with it.”
“They don’t unlock it, but just grab the phone and take like 20-30 photos of stuff.”
“The dog, themselves, a plant, some weird note, you walking around the house (probably looking for your phone), whatever.”
“Then, they place it back where you left it, and then later find a bunch of strange photos — mostly of them making selfies at the camera.”
“What the FSD [future stepdaughter] is doing is bullying.”
“She’s trying to shame and make fun of OP, and the fiancé is shrugging his shoulders and doesn’t seem to care. It’s a problem.”
“FSD doesn’t respect OP, instead treating her as a punching bag rather a human being with feelings and needs. That’s the issue.”
“NTA, OP, and it’s time to at least pause the engagement, and at most call whole man disposal services and dump him.”
“He’s not willing to call her in and is enabling FSD’s bad behavior.”
“I often make a few spelling errors when I type quickly, so I’ve fixed that and added in humiliation with fear, since I thought I threw that in, but alas, not there. Thanks for the upvotes!” ~ StormyAurora
“Pranking is always bullying if done to a person who doesn’t enjoy being pranked, which is a very niche kind of interest.”
“It’s usually really dense stuff, like. . it’s unfunny to trick people into wasting their time over stuff like hiding two things and telling them you’ve hidden three things and laugh while they keep looking.” ~ Express-Afternoon724
“I’ve been with my husband for 12 years today (yay!), and I’ve ‘pranked’ him once.”
“For April Fools, I changed his FB profile & cover photos to seagulls because he hates seagulls. It was silly, harmless, and he left the seagulls up all day.”
“True pranks are completely harmless and can be laughed at by both sides.” ~ pokemonprofessor121
“I pranked a former coworker by hiding little photocopied pictures of mariachi men all over her workstation – on her phone, in her desk drawers, under her mouse, in the middle of a notepad – just little pictures in so many random places.”
“Why?”
“Her then-husband had Hispanic buddies in the military, and they got him hooked on mariachi music.”
“He listened to it nonstop, and it drove her crazy.”
“So for fun, I mariachi’d her workstation, and she was finding little pictures for a while.”
“No harm to anyone. It was fun for me, and she thought it was hilarious.” ~ OBNurseScarlett
Many of the commenters above pointed out that pranks can have their place.
A good-natured tease or pointing out someone’s silly foible is a great way to celebrate close relationships and even make those bonds stronger.
When you stray into harm or embarrassment, you’re not pranking – you’re bullying.
Be kind.